30 Days and 30 Nights
by rezh
Summary: Everyone is stuck under the same roof. Can they survive the month and trying tasks randomly set for them?
1. It Begins!

Chapter One: IT BEGINS! 

Author's Note: OK! So this is my first wrestling fic. Please don't flame. 

Disclaimer: I'm only going to say this once. I own squat! 

____________________________________________________________ 

It was a not so sunny day (considering it was December and the ground was full of snow. Ok, I know that doesn't make sense with summer slam coming up and everything but give me a break!!), I was about 10:00 am and there was a group of weird lookin' people outside a huge building. 

"THE ROCK DEMANDS TO KNOW WHY THE HELL WE'RE ALL OUT HERE FREEZING OUR CANDY ASSES OFF?!" 

"SHUT UP, ASS CLOWN!" 

"BRING IT!" 

"You ain't showing me 'nough respect, boy." 

"I don't even know you? Please don't hurt me!" 

"ALRIGHT, ALRIGHT ALREADY!" 

Everyone turned their attention to the guy who just yelled. 

"Vince, the Rock wants to know why the hell you wanted all of us here in front of this freaky old mansion!" The Rock questioned, raising his eye brow. 

"Calm down, Rock. There's a perfectly good reason for this." Told Vince, trying to get everyone's attentiveness. "It has been brought to my attention that you guys need to learn some team work!" Said Vince sounding not too convincing. 

"What? Our jobs our to beat each other up! Do really think teamwork is a big priority?" Said Rikishi. 

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, WHOA! What in blue hell is wrong now!" protested the Rock. 

"Well, I can't really tell you." Said Vince. 

"What is it you can't tell us, WHAT!" Shouted Stone Cold as he took another sip of his beer. 

"Why am I here, daddy?" Wine Stephanie. 

"Um... I dunno! Here's a list of the rooms you guys are staying in." Vince quickly handed them the list and left in his limo. 

"What's up his ass?" Said Jericho. 

All the wrestlers followed Stone Cold in the building. It was huge! 

Undertaker opened one of the doors to the rooms. There were four to six beds in each room and little mini fridge and TV. 

"This is totally cool!" Said RVD. 

"Everything is cool to you!" Said Jericho. 

"Of course! Everything's cool when your (thumb thingy) Rob Van Dam!" 

"Well?! Where do we stay?" Asked Christian. 

"In there of course!" Said Test. 

"No! I mean all of us!" 

"There's more then one room, jabroni!" Said The Rock. 

"But who gets that one?" 

Everyone looks at Stone Cold. 

"AH! I see you must ask your almighty leader." Grinned Austin. 

"No, you have the list!" Said Jericho pointing to the piece of paper in his hand. 

"WHAT!" Said Austin. "Oh, So I do. Anyway it's me, The Rock-" 

"That's the Peoples Champ to you!" Pointed out The Rock. 

"Whatever! And Kurt and Jerky." 

"I am not staying with you tow ass clowns!" Complained Jericho. 

"You mean I'm not an ass clown!" Said Kurt looking ecstatic at the fact he wasn't considered a total loser. 

"What are you talking about?! You're not an ass clown, you're an Olympic Dork!" 

*sniff* 

"You'll do what I tell you to do you little punk-ass kid! WHAT!" Shouted Austin. 

"Just get on with it!" Yelled Trish. "I need to take a shower!" 

"Pipe down little lady! I'm not going to name all the people and whose room they belong in. Anyway, all the girls are in the same god damn room!" 

"Oh! Does that include Jazz?" Asked Molly. 

Just then, Molly was attacked by a large man. Oh wait, it was just Jazz. Hehe! 

"WHOOOO!" 

"Shut up Flair! No one likes you anyway." Said Jericho. 

"Listen, you can all look at the lists yourselves! Right now, I'm unpacking." Declared Austin. 

So everyone looked at the list. It wasn't a big deal. I'll name some rooms and roommates: 

Room 1: The Rock, Stone Cold, Kurt and Jericho 

Room 2: Brock Lesnar, Paul Heyman and Rikishi 

Room 3: Undertaker, Kane and The Hurricane (poor guy) 

Room 4: Jeff, Matt, RVD and Edge 

Room 5: D-Von, Buh-Buh and Spike 

Room 6: The Anti-Americans (Christian, Lance Storm and Test), Billy and Chuck 

Room 7: Lita, Stacey, Trish, Molly, Jazz and Stephanie. 

And some others that I'm too lazy to write right now. 

**DAY 1**

Everyone's unpacking and talking in the halls and other stuff... 

"Lita, I wish we were in the same room." Complained Matt. 

"What! With you?! Sorry Matt but I'd rather be with the girls." 

"Bu- but don't you love me?" 

"Huh?! Oh ya, of course. I'm just busy right now." Said Lita as she walked away. 

"Yo-you don't love me anymore! Why?!" 

~*~ 

"KURT! No way are you putting that sign over the door!" Yelled the Rock. 

"WHAT?! Only some gay-ass dork would put have something that idiotic hang over the door!" Shouted Austin who placing all his beer in the mini-fridge. 

"What? You dont' like it?" Said Kurt sounding offended. "I like it!" 

"Listen, jabroni. I don't want to have to think about any type of fluid every time I want to go to the bathroom!" Told the Rock as he pointed to the 'Got Milk?' sign hanging over the washroom. 

"What! What about Jericho?!" Protested Kurt. 

"What about him!" Said the Rock as he swivelled his head to face Jericho. "What the f-" 

A sign pointing towards Jericho's part of the room had 'Majestic King of the World' written on it. 

"WHAT?!" 

"What's wrong with it?" Said Jericho. "Everyone's doing it!" 

Jericho was right. Since they were only going to be there for a month everyone felt the need to personalize their portion of the room. 

The Hurricane had to suffer with pictures of Hell and flames all over the walls. Poor Hurricane only had a tiny sign that read 'Wats up wit dat?' While The Anti-Americans had Canadian stuff all over the room. Unfortunately, they had to live with pictures of Billy, Chuck and Rico. 

"I miss Rico!" Said Billy. 

"Yeah, who's going to compliment us every five minutes?!" 

They stared at the Canadians. 

"NO WAY IN HELL! We wouldn't complement you guys if... Um... Well we just wouldn't!" Said Test backing away from them. 

~*~ 

"Must you Really have 'TESTIFY' written over everything?!" Shouted Buh-Buh and Spike. 

"TESTIFY!" Cried D-Von. 

"Why don't you join us again?" Asked Spike. 

"First of all, I'm on Smackdown. And secondly, No! And thirdly..." Said D-Von. 

"Thirdly..." 

"I'll get to that in a minute!" Said D-Von. 

"You could at least stop saying Testify!" Said Buh-Buh Becoming very annoyed. 

"What would you rather have me say?" 

"What about, WAZZZZUP!" Cried Buh-Buh. 

"WA... ZUP?" said D-von 

Buh-Buh and Spike groaned and left the room leaving D-Von saying WA... ZUP? Every minute. 

~*~ 

"I mean, what did I do?! I was always good to her! I always put up with her when she bitched about stuff! I thought she loved me! I- I- I-" 

"I think you should breathe!" Said Jeff getting annoyed with his older brother's girl problems. (Whoa, Jeff getting annoyed with Matt! There's something you don't see often.) 

"Dude! Are you gonna hyperventilate or something?" Said Rob. 

"I- I- I- I-" 

"Man! Your brother reeks of scaryness." 

"Well, you haven't said that something like that in a long time?" Said Jeff. 

"Really? Oh well, don't freak if I do it again," said Edge. 

"I- I- I- I-! She said she'd rather be with the girls then with me?!" Complained Matt. "ME!" 

"I'd rather be with the girls then be with you!" Said Jeff rolling his eyes. 

"You said it." 

"That would be totally cool! Of course Everything is when you're (Thumb thingy) R... V... D...!" 

"Listen Matt, I'm not good at giving advise but I would have to say your over reacting." 

"OVER REACTING!" Shouted Matt grabbing Jeff by his shirt. "How would you like it if your girlfriend didn't like you anymore?!" 

"We don't have girlfriends! Anyway, how do you know she liked you in the first place?" Said Rob. "She could have been dating you just so she would be the 'diva with a boyfriend.'" 

"You're not helping much." Said Edge. 

"That's cool!" 

"Listen! I may be a pest and three years younger then you but I think I speak for everyone when I say YOU NEED A LIFE!" Shouted Jeff, shoving his brother out the door. 

"Are you abandoning me?" Said Matt giving Jeff the puppy dog eyes. 

"Those may work on girls but as you can see, I'm not one of them!" Said Jeff as he shut the door. 

"You're abandoning me?! Just like Lita! I'm older then you!" 

"Whoa! I've never seen you act like that, Hardy?" Said Rob looking totally amazed. 

"I think it's just a faze he went through." Stated Edge staring at Jeff as he started jumping up and down on his bed. "Yeah, just a faze." 

"Anyone wanna play a game?! Huh?! I need to rid of some excess energy! Well guys! Well?! C'mon! I'm bored! REAL bored!" 

"You just shut your older brother out the door?" Said Rob. "Don't you feel guilty?" 

"Nah! He was annoying. Talking about his girl problems. Anyway, Lita doesn't like Matt anymore." 

"Why not?" 

"I dunno! I'm just guessing cause she keeps looking around at other guys. Plus I think I'm missing some hair." 

"How can you tell?" Asked Edge. 

"Tell what?" 

"That's cool! Of course, every-" 

"Yeah, yeah, yeah! We've heard it a million times already! Oh, and Jeff, you're going to break the bed if you keep doing that." 

"Doing what?" Asked Jeff. 

"Jumping!" 

"On what?" 

"The BED!" 

"What bed?" 

"THE ONE YOU'RE JUMPING ON!" 

"...I'm Jumping?" Jeff looks down. "Oh, So I am!" Jeff just continues what he was doing which was infact, jumping. 

"Well?!" 

"Well what?" 

"Nevermind!" Edge just groaned and gave up. 

"Speaking of girls!" Said Rob. 

"That was ten minutes ago!" 

"Oh, well I wonder what they're doing?" 

~*~ 

"LOOK GIRLS!" Squealed Molly. 

"What? You finally figured out that your butt is bigger then your boobs?" Said Lita. 

"And that Stephanie's Boobs are twice the size of her head!" Said Trish. 

"You finally dyed your hair back the way it was?!" Asked Hardcore and Crash Holly. 

"Very funny! But you- Wait! What are you two doing here? 

"GET OUT!" They yelled as they threw the two out. 

"OK! where was I? Oh yeah! But you won't be laughing when you see the bathroom!" 

"Why? What'd you do to it?" said Lita. 

"UGH! Just follow me!" shouted Molly. 

GASP! All the girls were totally shocked when they saw how big the bathrooms were. 

"Whoa! It's like they new that 1... 2... SIX girls were coming here!" Said Stacey. 

Jazz gave her a threatening stare. 

"Uh... I mean seven! Seven girls. Hehe!" 

"And four Showers! That's almost perfect. All we need are one more!" said Lita 

"What do you mean ONE more?" Jazz gave Lita a very weird look. 

"Well, the only people that take showers regularly are me, Trish, Stacey, Molly and maybe Stephanie." 

"Actually I don-" stares at all the other girls. "I mean of course I do!" 

"I took a shower today!" Protested Jazz. 

"Oh, well... That's good for you! Unfortunately no one cares." Said Stacey. 

"Hey Jazz!" 

"Yeah, Trish?" 

"Just a simple question. Were you perhaps George of the jungle in a previous life?" 

That blew it, or Jazz blew it. She leaped on to Trish and began pulling out her hair and banging her head on the ground. 

"Should we help?" Asked Stacey. 

"No, let's watch Trish suffer." Said Molly, enjoying the scene until Lita pried Jazz off of poor Trish. "Party Pooper!" 

"Hey, I know this is a little off topic but Lita, what's with you and Matt?" Asked Steph. 

"Why do you care?" 

"Oh, no reason!" 

"Well, if you must know. Matt and I are no longer an 'item'. He's just not fun any more. He's a lot like Christian. Throwing arguments here and there." 

"So he's free?" Asked Stacey. 

"Um... Not yet. I haven't told him but I think he knows." 

"Hey Lita!" 

"Yeah Trish?" 

"Is Jeff free?!" 

"Um... Why do you care?" 

"Uh... same reason as Steph!" 

"I'm sure." 

~*~ 

"Why doesn't she love me? Why doesn't she love me? Why doesn't she love me?" Mumbled Matt as he walked up and down the halls. 

"WA-ZUP? WAZ-UP? WAZUP? WAAZZZZZUP!" Said D-Von. 

Matt opened the door to see what was going on. 

"Huh?! Oh, um... WAZZZZZZZUP!" Shouted D-Von shaking his head. 

"Why doesn't she love me?" 

"... say what?" 

"Why doesn't she love me?" 

"Who?" 

"Who else?!" Yelled Matt. 

"Um... Steph?" 

"HELL NO! Not that slut! LITA!" 

"Lita? I thought you guys were tight?" 

"I know!" Matt starts sobbing like a little school boy. 

"Right man." 

Just then Buh-Buh and Spike entered and saw Matt crying his head off with D-Von by his side. 

"Right... What happened here?" Asked Buh-Buh. 

"Yeah, why is he here?" Enquired Spike. 

"Um, him and Lita kinda... broke up." 

"WHAT?!" Said Austin from out of nowhere. "Oh, um... Sorry. Too many beers!" 

"Whoa, total bummer!" 

"Can I stay with you guys?!" pleaded Matt. 

  
"Um... Aren't you staying with your brother, RVD and Edge?" 

"But Jeff kicked me out!" whimpered Matt. 

They all (except for Matt) looked at each other in worry. 

"How much older are you?" asked Buh-Buh. 

"Um... three years!" 

"O...K...! I didn't know Jeff had it in him. Well anyway, sure you can stay with us!" said D-Von. 

"THANK-YOU!" said Matt as he hugged D-Von. 

"God? He hasn't acted like this since he got drunk last Saturday." said D-Von. "Um, Matt. What have you been smokin' lately?" 

"Um, nothing... I think." 

"Uh oh!" 

~*~ 

"C'MON YOU GUYS! IT WAS AN ACCIDENT!" Cried Billy and Chuck who were hanging from the ceiling. 

"I don't think you can accidentally a guys butt!" shouted Test. 

"Or try to paint on sideburns!" hollered Lance Storm. 

"Or put someone's hair in really tight pigtails!" yelled Christian. 

"Um... would you believe we were sleep walking?" asked Billy. 

"NO!" they all shouted. 

"Um... You realize Vince will kill you if we die!" whimpered Chuck. 

"DAMN! He's right!" 

So the Anti-Americans took down the two idiots and tied them to a chair. 

___________________________________________________________ 

Will Kurt take down the 'Got Milk?' sign down from the bathroom? Will D-Von think of something to say other then Testify! Oh wait, he did. Was Jeff kicking out his brother just a faze? (I hope not!) Will Jazz look more feminine? Will Matt get over Lita and get on with his life? Will the poor stupid ex Tag team champions be released by the Anti-Americans? Or will the Hurricane be able to last another day with the Undertaker and Kane? Will I ever stop asking so many questions? Probably. Hope you enjoyed ^_^ 

PS. Don't Flame! Please Review so I can continue this story! 

PSS. I'll add Rikishi, Brock and Heyman next time! 


	2. Black Out! Part 1

30 Days and 30 Nights 

**Chapter 2**: BLACK OUT! (Part 1) 

**Author's Note**: Like you need an explanation. 

**Author**: hypr-angl 

_____________________________________________________________ 

****

**Day 2-**

****

**Last time**: Vince explained to them the situation and the wrestlers quickly made themselves comfortable in their new rooms. 

**In the really big kitchen-**

"Dude! Why are we all here?" Rob asked while eating his sandwich. 

"Yeah, why?" Kevin Nash asked as he tried to hold up Scott Hall who had been drinking too much. 

"WHAT?!" Austin yelled. 

"Shut your pie-holes and listen up!" The Rock shouted. 

Just then the lights flickered on and off. 

"Right? Anyway, The Rock says he has heard some eeeelectrifying news! The power lines were hit and we might have a- (lights go out) black out." 

"Cool! It's like one of those horror movies, when the lights go out someone dies!" Jeff said enthusiastically. 

"No-one's dyin' unless I say so," Taker uttered. 

"OW! Someone just pinched my butt!" Jericho yelled. 

"Sorry Jericho!" squealed an anonymous girl. 

"Oh, a woman!" Jericho said as his face broke out in a big goofy grin. 

"It's me, Steph." 

"WHAT?!" 

"WHAT!" Austin hollered. 

"Oh, Steph. That's um... nice!" Jericho squeaked as he edged over to the closest person he could find in the dark. 

"Aww ... Jericho! We never knew you cared!" uttered two voices that distinctly belonged to Billy and Chuck. 

"Stay away from me you - you fruitcakes!" Jericho cried, as he ran blindly into a wall. 

"How are we supposed to find our way back to our rooms?!" Stacey bawled, as the other girls went into a complete panic. 

"Don't worry! With my awesome power I will save us all!" the Hurricane 

shouted. 

"Yeah? What are you going to do?! Set your cape on fire?" Molly retorted. 

"Of course not my ex-sidekick! I would never vandalize my uniform! I will light a path to safety," the Hurricane replied. He raised his hands in the air for a long time till he figured out nothing was going to happen. "Hehe. My super powers must have run out." 

"I wonder what you spent them on?" Edge chuckled. 

"I say we grab the nearest person next to us and run around till we find a room." Lita voiced, hoping that she'd find some other cute guy. 

"Hey Lita! Over here!" shouted Matt. 

"Um... Oh look, a head!" Lita stated, turning the other way. 

"What's wrong with her?!" Matt wailed. 

"What's wrong with you boy? Maybe you ain't showin' her enough respect!" the Undertaker said. 

"WHAT have YOU DONE TO HER?!" screamed Matt. 

"Whoa, whoa, whoa! I haven't touched no girl of yours boy." 

So everyone grabbed the nearest person (or two) and ran around till they found a door. 

**~*~**

"I have to go to the bathroom!" Kurt whined as he grabbed someone's hand and raced to the door, hitting the wall first. "PHEW! I made it," Kurt gasped turning on a flash light and turned to look at the person next to him. "YOU!" 

"What're you lookin' at?!" 

It was the Undertaker. 

He shrugged and walked over to the 'Got Milk?' sign. "That ain't too bright, puttin' a 'Got Milk?' sign on the bathroom door." The Undertaker stated. "Speaking of which." he said as he stepped into the bathroom. 

"NOOOOOOOO! I'm going to wet my pants!" moaned Kurt trying to hold it in. 

"Really? Hehe," The Undertaker laughed. 

Kurt stared blankly at the sign. 'I really shouldn't have put that there!' he thought. 

**~*~**

"OH, OH! I got a big one!" Stephanie shouted. 

"No he's mine!" Jazz protested. 

They both tugged and pulled the mystery man into the nearest room. The mystery guy turned on a flash light and held it up to his face. 

"EEEEWWWWWW!" shrieked Stephanie. "It's Scott Hall! And... he's drunk!" 

"No I ain't!" Scott said pointing a finger towards a chair. 

"Scott! There you are!" Kevin and X-Pac shouted. 

"Great, now we're stuck with them," Trish said dryly. 

"That's not necessarily a bad thing-" Jazz said with a grin. 

"THAT'S A GOOD THING!" DDP exclaimed from out of nowhere. 

"Only Jazz could be interested in the NWO!" hollered Steph. 

"OH MAAAAN! I love you guys!" Scott uttered as he fell to the floor. 

"And to make things worse, we're in Billy, Chucks and the Anti-Americans room!" Stephanie cried. 

"AHH! It's you!" 

"JERICHO!" Stephanie cheered wrapping her arms around his waist. 

"AHH! GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF!" 

**~*~**

"C'mon Stacey, Lita! Hurry up!" Trish blazed. 

"Um... We're not Stacey and Lita." 

WHAT?!" Trish screamed. 

"WHAT?!" 

"Go away Austin!" Trish growled as she flashed the light in what was supposed to be a distressed Stacey Kiebler and Lita. "JEFF, ROB! IT'S YOU!" 

"So?" Jeff said rubbing his eyes. "Do you mind not blinding us?" 

"Yeah, that is NOT cool!" Rob told. "And I don't usually say that cause I'm (Thumb Thingy) ROB VAN DAM!" 

"That's nice, but where's Stacey and Lita?" Trish questioned looking behind them. 

She saw Lita storming down the hall shouting at Matt. Matt, on the other hand, had followed with Stacey, who appeared to have leeched herself onto Matt's vacant arm. 

"GET AWAY FROM ME MATT!" Lita thundered, trying to push Matt away from her. 

"C'mon Lita! Why don't you love me? Is it my hair? My breathe? My personality?!" 

"ALL OF THE ABOVE, MATT!" she screamed. 

"Oh... *sniff*... ok. I know when I'm not wanted." 

"I want you, Matt! Ditch the Redhead!" Stacey squealed. 

"AHH! What do you want?" 

"YOU!" she bawled. 

"Great! We have Stacey wanting Matt, Matt wanting Lita, and Lita wanting ... well, any guy with a pulse." Jeff pointed out. 

"JEFF! ROB! HI GUYS!" Lita said, her face beaming. 

  
"Uh ... Hi?!" they squeaked. 

"I'm here too!" whined Trish, feeling left out. 

"Oh, yeah ... hi there," Lita said dryly. 

"Um ... I think we have too many people," Trish stated. 

"MATT, GO!" Lita ordered, pointing to the door. 

"YEAH! Matt and I will leave you guys alone!" Stacey declared dragging Matt out the door. 

"LLLLIIIIIIIIIIITTTTTAAAAAAAAAAA!" Matt wailed. 

"Don't be such a cry baby, Mattie!" Stacey said. 

"Whoa! This totally reeks of awesomeness!" Edge shouted. 

"WHAT?" Jeff questioned. 

"WHAT?!" 

"Go away, Austin! Remember, I said don't freak if I do sumthin' like that again." Edge stated again. 

"I don't like the dark!" Christian complained. 

Trish and Lita flashed the light in his eyes and temporarily made him blind. 

"Three cute guys and only one me!" Lita sighed. 

"Who says you get them all?!" Trish demanded. 

"What do you mean 3!" complained Christian knowing he had been insulted. 

Then Trish and Lita started a cat fight. 

"Who says you girls get any?" Jeff, Rob and Edge enquired. 

"SHUT UP! This doesn't concern you!" they growled, looking like two lionesses that were about to go for the jugular. 

"Uh, ok!" they agreed. 

**~*~**

"C'MON! I REALLY GOTTA GO!" Kurt cried. 

"Hold on boy! I'm not done yet!" Undertaker declared getting really pissed at Kurt's constant whining. 

He finally came out of the bathroom. Taker had only stayed in there for a long time, just so he could here Kurt squeal or possibly see him wet his pants. 

"Yes!" Kurt shouted in triumph. He had placed a bunch of flash lights near the door just so he wouldn't hit a wall. Before he could get up Kane came in and bolted for the bathroom door. 

"NNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Kurt howled in agony. 

~*~ 

"Um ... Why'd the light go out Chuck?" 

"I don't know Billy but I don't like the dark!"  


"I miss Rico!"  


"Does my hair look good?"  


"How can you think of something like that?!" Billy shouted as the chair they were tied to toppled over. "OOPS! How did we get in this predicament?" 

"When you started acting like a jerk?!" 

*sniff* 

"What's going on here?" a voice said from the door. 

"HELP!!" We're stuck!" 

"WAZZZZZZUP!" 

Billy and Chuck looked at the door to see the Dudley Boyz. All three of them! 

"OH! Can you help us?!" They cried. 

"Can you help us?!" Buh-Buh Ray mimicked. "No way. We're off to find some lonely ladies!" 

"Like you three could attract anything towards you other then rats!" Billy yelled trying to get apart from the chair. 

"Why don't you come here and say that?!" D-Von dared. 

"Naturally we would but as you can plainly see WE'RE STUCK TO A CHAIR!" Chuck said, having his own little spasm. 

"Oh?" Spike realized. "SO?" 

"So could you be nice and help us out?!" 

"Um ... NO!" all three Dudleys hollered all at once. They turned and walked away, not wanting to bother with two pimps who couldn't find a guy at a bachelor party. 

**~*~**

"So Rob, are you single?" Lita asked. 

"Um ... didn't you just break up with Matt?" Rob inquired trying to get away from the man crazy Lita. 

"SOOOO! Why do you think I did it?! So I could live the rest of my days a single Diva?!" 

"Um ... maybe." replied Rob. 

"I can't see!! What's going on?!" Christian wailed, who was still temporarily blind. 

"Hey you guys, I'm really cold!" complained Trish, in an attempt to get Edge and Jeff's attention. 

"And? So is the rest of the world," stated Jeff, rubbing his hands together. 

"NO! I'm REALLY cold." Trish exaggerated. 

"I'LL HELP YOU!" 

"Who said that?" 

"ME! The next big things manager!" 

"So what's the current biggest thing?" Edge asked. 

"Heyman's mouth," Jeff laughed. 

"Very funny! Obviously you guys can't see that this lady is freezing her dainty little-"  
  
"SHUT UP PAUL!" Trish growled. 

"OKAYYYY! Lita! I-" 

"I'm busy right now!" Lita called. 

"Oh..." 

"Just take your sick perverted mind and go away and never return!" Trish ordered. 

"And why should-" 

"You heard the ladies, Heyman! Or does the Hurricane have to take his boot and stick it straight up your candy ass!" 

"Hurricane?! What are you doing here? And why are you shouting like the Rock?" Trish asked. 

"Just doin' my job!" Hurricane declared as he shooed Heyman and Lesner out the door, making a whooshing noise. 

"WHOOOO!" 

"SHUT UP FLAIR!" 

"Um ... I gotta go now! Nice chatting with you guys ... and girls." Edge uttered as he grabbed his brother and went out the door. 

"He does realize he was already in his room?" Jeff said, trying to figure out why he left. 

"So it's just us four again?" Lita quizzed with a big grin. 

"Lita, what is wrong with you?" asked Jeff. 

"WHAT?! It's alright if you throw your brother out but it's not cool if I break up with him and try to get on with my life?! HUH, JEFF?! HUH?!" 

"Um ... that was different ... I was going through a phase!" Jeff protested. 

"Lita, you might want to calm down. People in the next city can hear you," Trish said, while she was covering her ears. 

"OH YEAH?!" 

"YEAH!" 

So another cat fight took place while Jeff and Rob sat and waited. 

"Dude, this is totally cool!" Rob declared, with his big grin plastered on his face. 

"You know, we could open a shop and have people pay to watch them fight-" 

"In mud!" Rob exclaimed. 

"Or gravy!" 

"Or... MILK!" 

"Milk?" 

"Or ... Something else!" 

"COOL!" 

**~*~**

Jericho sighed as he watched the freak show in front of him. Seriously, there had to be something psychologically wrong with them! 

Seeing as how, the NWO were trying to hold Scott Hall up. While they were doing that, Scott was accusing George Washington of eating too much and he also said that fish drown too often. Jazz was staring at the NWO. Stephanie had attached herself to Jericho. 

With a heavy sigh, he lifted himself up and dragged Stephanie over to Jazz hoping that they would fight or something. 

God must have taken pity on Jericho because the second he dragged Steph over there she started yelling at Jazz. 

"Will you snap out of it?! Neither of them are even close to good looking!" she wailed. 

"What would you know? All you do is hang on to that Rock star wannabe!" Jazz said still looking at the NWO. 

"HE IS NOT A ROCK STAR WANNABE! Ok, so maybe he is."  
  
"WHAT?!" Jericho protested. 

"WHAT?!" 

"Shut up Austin! Anyway, he's my rock star wannabe!" 

"Yeah ... ok!" Jazz, was of course, still in her dream world. 

"Now can you dig it, SUUUUCKAAAAAAA!" Booker shouted. 

"NO! I can't dig it!" Stephanie screamed as she pushed Booker T, right in the middle of him doing a spin-a-roonie. This caused Booker to hit his head on the table. 

"Mini-dust! Assist the Booker!" Goldust commanded. 

"Great. A real live freak show! I will never EEEEVEERRR be the same after this." Jericho said. 

"Wha-" Booker T got up and looked around him. "WHAT?!" 

"Um ... Book?" Goldust said with worry. 

"What?!" 

"I-" 

"WHAT?!" 

"Uh oh!"  
  
"WHA-" BANG 

Stephanie had hit Booker with a frying pan out of nowhere. 

"You shouldn't have done that." Goldust said. "This has happened before. I've seen it happen to others too!" 

"Really?! What was the result?" 

"Chaos." 

"Dude!" Booker T got up with a weird grin on his face. "This is totally cool. Of course, everything is cool when you're (Thumb Thingy) ROB VAN DAM!" *Booker looks at his skin* "Dude! When did I turn black? And get like 6'4 or something?" 

"Uh oh!" Stephanie cried. 

"I told you so!" 

**~*~**

"KANE! I'M BEGGING YOU! PLEASE! PLEASE! I'M GONNA TAKE A *FART* CRAP RIGHT NOW!" Kurt whined, rolling on the ground. 

*FLUSH* 

"YES! FREEDOM!" 

Just then (you guessed it) Rikishi walked in and headed for the bathroom door. 

"OH NO YOU DON'T!" Kurt shouted. Unfortunately, he was so exhausted from rolling around on the ground that he couldn't reach the door. He just rolled on the ground farting a lot. 

~***~**

"No one likes me. I saw one word and everyone is all 'SHUT UP AUSTIN!' or 'PISS OFF JERK!" 

"I know, man. To me they're all like 'GO AWAY RIC!' or 'NO ONE LIKES YOU RIC!" 

Just then, two guys tied to a chair skittered in and parked themselves next to Austin and Flair. 

"Could you guys untie us?" Billy begged. 

"HALO?!" Chuck said, shaking his head from side to side, trying to get some attention. "*sigh* Another lost cause!" 

After that, they left to find people willing to free them. 

**~*~**

"The Rock, the most electrifying man in sports entertainment, the great one, the People's champ ... IS stuck with Molly Holly and the two dorks in the corner!" 

"Hey!" Lance and Test protested. 

"You two are such loners in the corner," Molly mumbled. 

"At least our butts only take up a corner!" Lance and Test said in unison. 

"Tell us, Molly, do you wear the women's championship belt to hold your pants up?" Lance asked. 

"HMPH!" pouted Molly. 

Suddenly, Edge and Christian came racing through the door. 

"Oh ... it's you two," Edge said, scowling as he watched his idiotic brother join his little 'cult'. Christian was still partially blind. 

"Hey guys!" he said as he patted the Rock and Molly on the back. 

"EW! Get your filthy Canadian hands off me!" 

"WHOA! Get your hand off the Great Ones' shoulder!" 

"HUH?! WHA-?!" 

"You guys are pathetic," Edge declared, shaking his head. 

"What are you taking about?!" The Anti-Americans asked. 

"You give Canadians - like me - a bad name!" Edge said 

"WHA-" 

"YEAH! I'm not even Canadian but with wrestlers like you three. Why would I ever want to be?!" Molly uttered in disgust. "Oh, plus Trish is one." 

"Bu-" 

And-" 

"ENOUGH!" boomed the Rock. "SIT YOUR CANDY ASSES DOWN AND SHUT YOUR PIE-HOLES!" 

_Total Silence_

__

__"That's better! Now let the People's champ take his nap!" 

_____________________________________________________________ 

OK! So this one was really weird but I'm quickly running out of ideas! Feel free to give me any! Please R&R! 

PS. I'll try to add more wrestlers. 


	3. Black Out! Part 2

30 Days and 30 Nights 

**Chapter 3**: BLACK OUT (Part 2) 

**Author's Note**: Um... Can't think of anything at the moment. Oh wait, I remeber. Some people actually go outside and enjoy the snow. Snow? I know what your thinking but in this little world it's December! Haha! Enjoy! 

**Author**: hypr-angl 

_____________________________________________________________ 

**Day 3-**

****

****"GOD! HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN IN THERE?!" Kurt shrieked. Kurt had been waiting for just about two hours to go to the bathroom. How he could hold it in, I don't know. 

"Hehe!" Taker mumbled. 

"SO YOU THINK IT'S FUNNY?!" Kurt screamed. 

"YEAH! Do you have a problem with that?!" Taker said seeming a little more evil and taller then usual. 

  
"No sir!" Kurt squeaked. 

"...And I'm done!" Rikishi grunted as he lifted his huge ass of the can. He headed for the door until... OOF! 

"OOF? What do you mean OOF! Is that good?" Kurt panicked. 

"Um... Kurt, you're not going to like this," Rikishi stated. 

"WHAT NOW!" 

"I'm kinda... stuck!" 

Kurt froze totally. 

"Kurt?" 

0_0 

"KURT?" 

0_0 

"KURT, YOU ASS! HELP ME OUT!... ... ... Nuttin'! The guys a friggin' statue." 

"A really ugly one." Kane commented. 

"I'll help you, but I demand respect!" Taker demanded. 

So Undertaker tried his best to help the phat man out. He failed. So Kane helped. They failed. This whole time, Kurt was in some frozen state except for his eye *twitch*. (At least he won't wet his pants this way) 

~*~ 

"So..." 

"Um..." 

"Yeah..." 

"Right..." 

Jeff and Rob were sharing a one-word-at-a-time conversation while Lita and Trish fought in corner. 

"Like..." 

"Uh..." 

"You..." 

"What..." 

"WHAT?!" 

"PISS OFF AUSTIN!" they yelled simultaneously. 

"*sniff* Rejected again!" 

"Well..." 

"I..." 

"DUDE! I'M REALLY BORED!" Rob shouted standing up and pulling the two girls away from each other. 

"YEAH! We need some action!" Jeff complained. 

"I was just getting started!" Lita said with a bleeding lip and some hair missing. 

"I hadn't even begun!" Trish said with a black eye and more hair missing. 

"WILL YOU TWO SHUT UP!" Jeff and Rob yelled. 

  
"...When did you guys get here?" Lita asked. 

"I thought you left?" Trish questioned. 

"I'm beginning to feel we should have." Jeff sighed. 

"This is totally not cool!" Rob stated as he fell back on his bed. 

"HEY! I've got an idea!" Jeff exclaimed as he started jumping up and down on his bed. 

"Uh oh. Whenever you get an idea and jump on your bed, it's a bad thing." 

"NOT A GOOD THING!" DDP shouted from out of nowhere. 

"SHUT UP!" 

"*SOB* I'll just join Austin and Flair!" 

"Right... anyway, Why don't we go outside!" 

"If we can find our way out there." 

"We can use the flashlights!" 

"We don't have any." Rob stated dryly. 

"Um... We'll use theirs!" Jeff said pointing to Trish and Lita who were hitting each other with the flashlights. So Jeff grabbed the flashlights and Rob and took off before the girls could complain. 

"Wait!" Rob uttered, stopping Jeff. "IT'S FREEZING OUT THERE!" 

"Then we're just going to have to run around a lot! I'm tired if being cooped up with those two!" Jeff explained. 

"O...Kay...!" Rob said walking slowly towards the doors. 

When they got out they saw that some people were already enjoying themselves in the lovely snow. 

Nidia and Jamie Noble were making out near a tree until Kidman broke them up by throwing an ice ball at Nidia's ass. Triple H was hopping around after Shawn Michael's placed a snowball down his pants. Maven and Tijiri were having a snow fight while hiding behind walls of (you guessed it!) snow! 

Just then, Torrie Wilson strutted up to them, Jeff and Rob, and gave them one of her innocent smiles. 

"Uh... Hi!" they said staring at Torrie. Let's just say she was showing a little too much. 

"HI GUYS!" she cheered, jumping up and down making it look like her boob was about to pop out of her top. 

"WHOA! I mean... Uh... Yeah!" they stuttered. 

"So..." 

"Yeah..." 

"Um..." 

"Nice idea, Einstein!" Rob exclaimed. 

"Hm... We could always build a snowman!" Jeff said grabbing some snow. 

"You have the brains of a eight year old!" Rob shouted. "What are you doing?" Rob asked. 

Of course there was Jeff standing beside his snow man which was pretty crappy. Think of the average snowman but with a really big chest and small head. Plus some sticks originating from the head. And its hands were pointing to its head. 

"What is that monstrosity?" Rob questioned. 

"You like it?!" Jeff beamed. "I call it... (Thumb Thingy) ROB... VAN... DAM!" 

Rob sighed. "Hey, my chest isn't that big?!" he protested. "And since when did I have the hair of a mad scientist?!" 

"Since now." Jeff said adding more snow to the chest of the snowman. 

"Ha... Ha... Ha...!" Rob uttered grabbing a little bit of snow and forming it into an oval. "Would you look at that!" he exclaimed. 

"What do you call it?" Jeff questioned, not sure that he really wanted to know. 

"Well... I don't really know? But for some reason, it seems to greatly resemble the size of your brain," Rob said while examining the little ball of snow. 

~*~ 

Time passed and soon it was getting really late. 

~*~ 

"The Rock wants out! The peoples champ is leaving now! He does not want to bother with the all pure Molly and Edge-head." The Rock declared as he stormed out. 

"Yeah, I better head back to my room," Edge stated. He didn't really want to hang around with Molly either. 

"Fine! Leave a woman all alone to fend for herself!" Molly shouted. 

Just then the Anti-Americans burst in. 

"Where are they?!" they asked. 

"Who?" 

"Billy and Chuck!" Christian shouted. 

"We're afraid they might have escaped!" Test said. 

"They're Billy and Chuck! Even if they did they couldn't do any harm," Molly stated. 

"Oh yeah! You have a point. But they are so annoying! We must find them before they do anymore damage!" Lance cried. 

So the Anti-Americans left to find the two who were still stuck to a chair while Molly sat there pretty much doing nothing as usual. 

~*~ 

"KURT! WOULD YOU HELP US?!" Taker shouted. Then he saw Matt running through the hall. "Hardy! Help us get this huge ass out!" he demanded. 

"*Sniff* Wh-why does she reject me?!" he complained. 

"QUIT YOUR DAMN WHINING AND HELP!" he yelled. "You too girl!" 

"WHA! Me? But I'll get all sweaty and hot... maybe that's not such a bad thing?" Stacey thought. 

"THAT'S A GOOD THING!" 

"..." 

"I'll leave," stated DDP. 

"Chickens eat cucumbers to play the guitar!" Perry commented. 

"Oh! Can you take him with you!" Stacey said. 

"C'mon, Perry, we're not wanted here," DDP sniffed. 

"Um... Why is Kurt turning blue?" Matt asked. 

"He had to go to the bathroom except he couldn't because I was in there. Once I was done then Kane ran in. Then when he was done, some others ran in until Rikishi got stuck," Taker Muttered. 

"Oh... How long has been waiting?" 

"Ever since the black out. You might want to go check on him," Rikishi stated. 

So Matt slowly walked up to Kurt with Stacey trailing behind. 

"Yo, Kurt?" he said waving his hand in front of Kurt's face that had now turned to a nice crimson. 

"Hehe... he... ha... haha... hahahahaha!" Kurt laughed. "HAHAHAHAHAHAHA _breath _AHA... AHAHA.... HA!" he cackled. 

"Mattie! He's really scary!" Stacey complained 

Matt didn't reply or utter anything. Usually when something like this occurred, he would be cowering behind Lita... Lita! 

"WHY DID SHE LEAVE ME!" he shouted. 

Just then, Kurt totally freaked out and ran towards the bathroom door, knocking down Matt and Stacey on his way. 

At that exact moment, The lights flickered on. Kurt paused for about ¾ of a second then went back to being an idiot. Then Lita walked in the door. 

She didn't really need to ask what was going on since Kurt had gone crazy and Rikishi was stuck in the bathroom door. She had a feeling the two things were connected. 

"Lita!" Matt wailed. 

"Oh, it's you," she said dryly. 

"Lita, why don't we get back together!" Matt suggested. 

"Hm... How 'bout NO!" Lita retorted. "Anyway, we haven't broken up yet," 

"YOU MEAN YOU STILL LOVE ME?!" 

"Oh, I knew there was something I forgot to tell you. Anyway, Matt, I'm breaking up with you," Lita said plainly. 

Matt wasn't as bad as he would have been since he already thought she had broken up with him. 

"Oh, *twitch* I see." he said. 

"OK!" she smiled turning to Kurt. "Um... Kurt!"  


Kurt stopped abruptly to hear her over his screaming. 

"Why didn't you use a different bathroom? I mean, there's more then one in this place." 

Kurt paused to let this all sink in. "Oh, hehe... he!" He had spent so much time wanting to go to **the** bathroom that he wasn't really thinking straight. While he thought this, he heard a little sound. Sort of like a tap with some water still trickling out. "Uh oh!" 

And of course, there was Kurt. Wetting his pants in front of everyone. And at that moment, Rikishi just happen to pop out of the door. 

"Well Kurt, now you can stop going crazy on us and finally go on the potty," Taker said who was totally exhausted. He looked down at Kurt shorts. "Oh, I see you already went, boy. Well, at least we can all get back to our rooms. I need to kill something before I can get a good nights sleep." 

Coincidence? I think not! 

~*~ 

"It's absolutely hopeless! No one is willing to help us, Chuck!" 

"Yeah, Billy. I know what you mean." 

"It's getting pretty late, Chuck. We better hit the sack!" Billy yawned. 

"WAIT! Look at that Billy!" Chuck cried, pointing his hand at the table with a knife on it. "YES! FREEDOM!" 

So the two edged their way over to the table. Billy grabbed the knife (well, tried to anyway). 

"I can't reach it!" Billy cried. "Oh! Wait," he said as he grabbed the knife with his mouth. "Hm...hm!" 

"YES! Now we can be free at last!" 

The yet another coincidence occurred. The Anti-Americans burst through the door (Don't ask where they had been). 

"You guys are not getting out of that chair!" ordered Lance. 

"AHHHHH! Cut faster Billy! FASTER!" Chuck shouted. 

"AHHHHHHHHH!" they screamed as the Anti-Americans took one of their jumbo sized pictures of Rico and wrapped it around them. 

"That should keep them quiet for a while," Christian said triumphantly. 

"Unless they eat through the paper. I mean, those guys will put anything in their mouths," Test commented. 

"You mean like a former Tommy Dreamer," Lance enquired. 

"Something along the lines of that," he replied. 

~*~ 

"Oh, the lights are back on!" Stephanie sulked. 

"Thank god!" Jericho sighed. "I need to get back to my thrown before I start getting comfortable around you guys." 

"Do you always to think of yourself?!" Kevin Nash said getting really irritated. 

"Well who else am I going to think of?" Jericho stated. 

"Why are there three of you?" Scott shouted, unfortunately still drunk. 

"Hm... three of me," Jericho said. "Wouldn't that be great!" 

"YEAH!" squealed Steph. 

"Ech! Are you still here?" Jericho said trying to pry Stephanie off his leg. After he had accomplished that he quickly went back to his room. Glancing behind him every now and then just to check that Stephanie wasn't following him. 

"Hey Kevin?" Jazz said. 

"Huh? What do you want?" 

"Can I have your number!" 

"Um... I... no!" he said hastily dragging out Scott with X-pac's help. 

~*~ 

"Jeez, it's freezing out here!" Jeff uttered. 

"Oh y-yeah! We-well at least you d-don't have sh-shorts on!" Rob stuttered. 

"Yeah! I am lucky aren't I?" 

"Hey you guys! The lights are back on!" Torrie squealed. 

"Hehe... Do you want me to help you back to your room," Rob suggested. 

"Yeah right Mr. I'm freezing my legs off. She needs someone smart to help her!" Jeff declared. 

"Actually, Maven is helping me!" Torrie said. 

"Oh yeah! We knew that!" Rob said. 

"Or at least I did," Jeff uttered. 

As Torrie walked in with Maven by her side, Jeff and Rob had a little staring contest. Nidia and Jamie Noble were still making out, even as they were walking up the stairs and Kidman was glaring at them in disgust. 

When Jeff and Rob arrived at their rooms, they found Edge sitting there with Trish in his arms. 

"Could you guys come back later?" he said. 

"Oh! You two! Where have you been?" Trish asked. "I tried to find you but then I bumped into Edge. Lita went elsewhere. Oh, that reminds me. The lights are on so I need to go!" Trish hopped up and left the room. 

"You two just had to ruin it didn't you?!" Edge complained. 

"Well, well, well!" Jeff said. 

"Well what?" Rob asked. 

"Hm? I don't know. I couldn't think of anything to say at the moment." 

"What's new!" 

"Hey Rob!" Edge said trying to get their attention. 

"Yeah dude?" 

"Your legs are as blue as Jeff's hair." 

"For your information, my hair isn't blue at the moment. It's blonde." Jeff corrected. 

"Blue, blonde, black? What's the difference?" 

"Um... Edge, there's a really big difference!" Jeff said looking confused. 

"Well... yeah!" Edge exclaimed. 

"Oh! My legs are blue," Rob Realized. "That can't be a good thing." 

Long pause because everyone was expecting DDP to come out with his catch phrase. 

"Whoa, that was... different." Jeff said to break the silence. 

"I'm gonna soak my legs in hot water to bring them back to normal colour," Rob stated. 

"You do that," Edge said. 

"God I'm tired!" Jeff yawned. 

"You know what?" 

"No but I have a feeling you're going to tell me," Jeff said taking his shirt off. "Is it just me, or is it hot in here?" 

"Yeah, that's what I was about to say," Edge said as he slipped into his bed. 

"Ok, which one of you guys turned the heat up?" Rob questioned. "My legs are already red! This is definitely NOT cool. And now I'm too tired to say my famous line!" he complained, falling on his bed. 

"What time is it?" Edge asked. 

"Let's see," Jeff uttered as he reached over to the radio since the clocks were only flashing 12:00... 12:00... 12:00... 12:00... Anyway, He reached over and rolled off his bed. "Too hot. I'll check in the mourning." 

"Yeah *yawn* in the mourning." 

_____________________________________________________________ 

So the heat is getting to them. This sounds like the beginning of a plot! OOPS, I said too much. Anyway, R&R. Don't flame. If you don't like the story, then don't read it! 

toodles ^_^ 


	4. Heat from the Rejects!

30 Days and 30 Nights 

**Chapter 4: **HEAT FROM THE REJECTS! 

****

**Author's Note**: Thank you people for reviewing! As the title suggests, I will focus more on those who are rejected because the only things they're famous for are their catch phrases and trade marks. Austin, DDP, even Perry Saturn and his crazy talk PLUS many, many more. Wait, wasn't there something wrong with the heat in the last chapter? 

**Question: **Could the poor rejected ones have something to do with it? 

**Answer:** Probably.****

****

**Author**: hypr-angl 

_____________________________________________________________ 

****

**Day 4-**

****

****Undertaker grumbled as he rolled out of bed. _"Why is it so damn hot in December!" _he thought. "TURN THE HEAT DOWN, HURRI-DORK!" Taker ordered. 

... 

"HURRI-DORK!" he yelled again. "Where is that idiot when you need him?" he mumbled. He sat up and looked around. 

The Hurricane was nowhere in sight. There was only himself and Kane. 

Kane muttered something in his low, low voice. 

"You're right. We better find the idiot before he tries to fly off the roof or something. Actually, that's not really a bad thing is it?" Taker said with a smirk. 

... 

He paused, expecting DDP to pop up with his stupid grin and say that line he hated so much. But ... nothing. 

"Somthing ain't right here!" Taker uttered. "First the heat, then the Hurri-dork goes missing. And now that idiot DDP won't pop up so I can yell at him. Hm ... YOU!" he bellowed, pointing to Kane. "Come here! We're going to find ourselves a Super-Doofus!" 

~*~ 

"UUUUUGGGHHHHHH!" Jeff shouted as he got off the ground. "No matter what I do I still end up sweating like crazy!" he complained as he wiped his face with a towel. 

"Hey dudes, I may be (Thumb Thingy) R... V... D... but I seriously can't take this man!" Rob said as he rolled over on to his back. 

"What time is it!" Edge grumbled. 

"Yeah, yeah, I'm checking," Jeff declared turning on the knob on the radio. 

_It's getting hot in here..._

__

__"NOOOOOOO!" they shouted simultaneously. 

_So take off all your clothes!_

__

__"You know, Nelly does have a point," stated Edge. 

They all stared at each other ... then at the radio. 

~*~ 

"Chuck ... CHUCK!" Billy cried. 

"What!" Chuck snorted. 

"I had a nightmare!" Billy whined 

  
"I have those a lot so quit complaining!" 

"Wait, I'll tell you it (whispers in his ear)" 

"WE HAVE TO GET OUT OF HERE!" Chuck shouted. 

"SHHHHH! Do you want them to hear us?"  


"No but -" 

"Exactly! No buts! Now help me loosen these ropes!"  


Minutes later ... 

"WE'RE FREE!" 

"Wha -" Test grunted. 

  
"AHHHHHHHH!"  


"Get them!" Test shouted. 

"RUN BILLY, RUN!" 

"AHHHHHHHHHH!" 

"Damn it! They got away!" Christian said. 

"Hehe, they'll come back. We have their ... stuff!" 

"AHAHAHAHAHAHAH!" So they laughed for a while soon went back to sleep. 

~*~****

****

****Jeff, Rob and Edge were lying on their beds in their swim trunks, sweating like crazy! 

"Isn't there a indoor pool here?" Jeff asked. 

"What makes you ask that?" the other two enquired. 

"Well, I saw a sign on my back inside yesterday that had an arrow. It said **SWIMMING POOL** in big bold letters." 

"Well why didn't you mention that earlier?!" Edge cried, practically springing to his feet. 

"Dude! This'll be totally cool! First we'll tell everyone, then-" 

"What?" Jeff and Edge uttered. 

... 

"Where is Austin?" Rob asked. 

"Maybe we yelled at him one too many times," Edge stated. 

"Um ... anyway, we can't tell anyone! If we do, then everyone will be in the pool and it'll be out of control!" Jeff declared. 

"That, coming from Jeff Hardy sounds a little weird," Edge said. 

"Yeah dude, I thought you liked being wild and crazy?" Rob asked. 

"Well ... yeah! But don't you agree that you'd rather have the pool _all_ to yourself rather than share it with the others. Ok, I'll give you an example. Say you were lost in the desert with um ... your older brother-" 

"Uh oh, here we go again," Rob and Edge groaned. 

"Yeah, whatever. Anyway, there's only ¾ of water left in the bottle. It's only enough for one person-" 

"Actually, you probably each could have one last sip," Edge explained but stopped abruptly after Jeff stared daggers at him. 

"Dude, I agree. ¾ can seem like a lot if you really think about it," Rob stated. 

"FINE!" Jeff shouted. "You, your brother and his girlfriend are stuck in the middle of the desert with only enough water for ONE person!" 

"My brother doesn't have a girlfriend, nor do I think he will ever _have _one," Edge sighed. 

"I don't have a brother," Rob said plainly. (I don't really know if he does) 

"I'M USING IT AS AN EXAMPLE! ARE YOU GOING TO LISTEN OR ARGUE WITH ME ALL DAY!" Jeff shouted, as one of his veins bulged with indignation. 

"Whoa dude, chill. Why can't you be more like me, (Thumb Thingy) Ro-" 

Edge quickly placed his hand over Rob's mouth, since 'Mount Jeff' was about to explode. 

"No, no, we'll listen," Edge said hastily. "But you might want to start from the beginning." 

~*~ 

"JAZZ!" Sephanie shouted once more. She was getting really impatient. She hadn't washed her hair in three days. THREE DAYS. "JAZZ, GET OUT OF THAT BATHROOM RIGHT NOW!" 

Jazz was inside, fortunately, doing nothing. She was thinking about the NWO. Mainly, Kevin Nash (EW!) She sighed and opened the door before Stephanie started screeching. 

"WHAT WERE YOU DOING IN THERE?!" Stephanie shrieked along with some other things. "I NEED TO SHOWER!" 

"That's for sure! You better go in unless _Jericho _happens to come by later," Lita suggested while covering her nose. 

"SHUT UP!" Steph shouted from inside the bathroom. "At least my ex-boyfriend isn't still all over me!" 

"You had an ex-boyfriend!" Trish exclaimed, covering her mouth with her hand. 

"Hey, if you should care to know, Matt is totally over me!" Lita protested. "Anyway, he has his hands full with Stacey. 

"That's right!" Stacey declared. 

"So, Lita, who's your new boy toy now?" Torrie asked. 

"Right now? Well, I haven't thought of that quite yet, but I'm leaving my options way open," 

"Really?" Trish asked. "Give us some names!" 

"Well, The Rock is married so he's out of the picture and-" 

"HE'S MARRIED!" Steph shrieked. 

"Ow, I think I've gone deaf!" Molly said. 

"Right ... anyway, is it wrong to date your ex's brother or other relative?" Lita asked. 

"Wow! I didn't think you were leaving your options _that_ open!" Stacey uttered. 

"Well, Jeff's not really at the top of my list. There's Rob Van Dam, The big Valboski, Edge, John Cena, and maybe someone, if I'm really desperate, from the NWO." 

At the sound of their group, Jazz perked up. "The what?" 

"Oh no!" Stephanie mumbled as she got out of the bathroom. "You're not still obsessed with him?" 

"Maybe ..." 

"I think you should go for the shorter, cuter guys," suggested Torrie. 

"Yeah, whatever! You're with Maven," Stacey said in disgust. 

"Oh yeah! Well at least I don't obsess over a guy and stalk him 24/7!" Torrie complained. 

"Well, well. That's right up your ally, Steph." Lita stated. 

Stephanie blushed. 

"I can't help it if I like him," she enunciated. 

"Hey, it's the billion dollar princess and the supposedly king of the world!" Trish declared. 

"You know what, I saw Jericho walking down the hall today!" Molly said. 

"So, what's new?" Jazz replied. 

"I wasn't done. He was wearing a cloak and crown on his head." 

"How conceited," Lita declared 

"Men! Who needs them!" Trish let out, throwing her hands in the air. "I mean, all they do is ... nothing! They just sit on their huge asses and totally ignore everything and everyone around them." 

Trish paused for a moment and repeated to herself what she had just said. 

"Hey, it almost reminds me of Molly!" she exclaimed. 

Molly ran up to Trish and thrusted the women's title at her head. 

"That will teach you to not make fun of my behind!" Molly spat. 

"I need a man," Lita sighed. "Like the old saying goes: **Men**. You can't live with them and you can't live without them!" 

"Of course!" Trish blurted, as she slowly got up. "But at the moment I can live without them!" 

"That coming from you is new," Molly scoffed. 

"And what exactly is THAT supposed to mean?" Trish huffed. 

"Oh, nothing... *WHORE*!" she coughed loudly. 

"That's it! Prepare to die bitch!" Trish threatened. 

"Bring it on whore!" Molly tempted. 

Then Molly and Trish had their little fight and slowly calmed down. 

"You know who's really cute?!" Torrie stated. 

"Who?" asked the others. 

"Maven, no doubt!" Stacey said. 

"No, Tom Cruise!" she squealed. 

"No way! The cutest guy in the world is Matt Le Blanc!" Stacey proclaimed. 

"You're both wrong!" Stephanie uttered. "The hottest guy _I know_ is Justin Timberlake!" 

"EW! Then the guys you know must be uglier then Fat Bastard crossed with ... some ugly guy from one of those horror movies!" Lita commented. 

"Oh, Oh! Jack the Ripper!" Molly shouted. 

"Or King Kong!" Jazz suggested. 

"Only Jazz would think up that!" Steph whispered. 

"FRODO BAGGINS!" Stacey said, as everyone swivelled their heads around. 

"Isn't Frodo a good guy? Not to mention that he's the main character. Anyway, it isn't a horror movie," Lita corrected. 

"And I don't think he's that bad looking," Torrie said. 

"Yeah ... anyway, everyone knows that Matt Damon is the hottie king!" 

"Yeah right! You wanna know who's the REAL hottie King. Yours is just a peasant compared to this guy, Trish," 

"Why do you keep giving us the impression that you're always right?" Molly asked. 

"Because I usually am!!! As I was saying before I was RUDELY interrupted!" 

"Sheesh! You'd think it was the end of the world," Molly stated. 

"Ben Affleck!" Lita declared. 

All the girls in the room drooled over the thought. 

"Hey, speaking of hot, it's getting a little too hot in here," Jazz said. She stood up and shook her head. "Or maybe it's the thought of all the cute guys," 

"No, I think for once you're right, Jazz," Steph stated. 

"Hey, girls! I just saw Jeff, Edge and Rob run by in their swim trunks. Very suspicious if you ask me," Lita claimed. 

"Hm ... girls! Get your bathing suits and bikini's and follow me!" Trish ordered. 

~*~ 

"And ... and they tied us up!" Billy and Chuck sobbed. 

"WAZZZZAAAP!" 

"Is that all you can say?" 

"He's trying to get used to it," replied Buh-Buh Ray. 

"Buh-Buh!" Spike whispered. "We can't have Matt, Billy and Chuck here!" 

"We'll handle it. Anyway, how hard can it be?" 

Two minutes later... 

"Are these Posters of ... Rico, really necessary?" Buh-Buh asked. 

"LIKE, YEAH!" Billy replied. 

"TOTALLY!" Chuck said. 

"Hehe, told you so!" Spike boasted. 

"Shut up!" 

~*~ 

OK!" Jeff said as he climbed on his bed and began his little story. "You're totally lost in a desert with only your brother, who is jealous of all the fame you get, so he decides to screw up your matches and move to Smackdown! Oh, and his nice ex-girlfriend who will also remain anonymous." 

"You never said that before?" Rob asked, who immediately recoiled after Jeff gave him a threatening growl. 

"Anyway, there's only enough water for one person. Obviously you're not going to give it to Matt - I mean, the stupid older one. So it comes down to his ex and you. Who do you think of first?" 

"Well, technically isn't the general rule: 'Ladies first'?" Edge questioned. 

"Well, yeah but -" 

"And Lita's really nice," Rob said. 

"Right! So instead of Lita - shakes head - I mean your older bro's ex, it's a very tall blonde who used to be a duchess-" 

"OF DUDLEYVILLE!" Rob shouted. 

"Yeah, something like that. Anyway, the point is, who would you rather give the water to? You, your idiotic brother or the ugly slut that tries to get in his pants?" 

"Oh, that's a toughie," Edge commented sarcastically. 

"THE SLUT!" Rob shouted. "Who knows what she might do in return!" 

"You're in the middle of a desert and you're interested in what a slut might do for you in return for a sip of water?" Edge asked. 

"Um ... No! Hehe ... I was, er, just kidding!" Rob stuttered. 

Edge groaned and turned to Jeff. "What was the point of this story?" 

"Um ... you know, I can't remember?" Jeff declared, scratching his head in confusion. "But I'm pretty sure it had a good point! Now let's get out of the heat and into the pool!" He said, practically prancing out the door. 

That made Rob and Edge exchange worried looks. 

"How does he do that?" Rob asked. 

"Do what?" replied Edge. 

"Be sane one moment and go totally mental the next?" 

"I think it's just a phase," 

"You said that when he threw Matt out!" Rob uttered. 

"Maybe he's got a split personality disorder ... or maybe he's schizophrenic." 

"Yeah ... I wouldn't want to be stuck in the middle of the desert. Oh, by the way, is he still pissed at Matt?" 

"Were you listening to the story, _at all_?" Edge questioned. 

"I don't think so. All I heard was something about desert and people, oh, and water which makes me want to go to the bathroom." Rob stated. 

"Just don't take a whizz in the pool," Edge uttered. "C'mon, Jeff might go crazy on us if we don't hurry up," Edge said as he grabbed Rob's arm. 

"Maybe it's the heat!" Rob exclaimed. 

"Maybe it's just you?" Edge retorted. 

"Hm ... could be?" 

~*~ 

They walked down the hall (not being too secretive) and paused as they passed the women's room. 

"Why did you pause?" Jeff asked, getting very impatient. 

"I think Lita saw us!" Rob replied. 

"Um ... let's walk a little faster, guys," Edge suggested. So they did. As they hastily walked a long, they couldn't help but look back a couple of times just to be on the safe side. Unfortunately, they walked right into two tall men with low voices. 

"AHHHHH!" 

"AAAHHH!" 

"..." 

"AAHHHH!" 

"AAAHHH!" 

"..." 

"AHHHHH!" 

"..." 

"..." 

AHHHey! Taker, Kane, what brings you two out into the halls?" Edge enquired, shining his pearly whites. 

"Shut up, boy, and show me some respect," Taker bellowed. 

"OK!" Edge squeaked as he hid behind Rob. 

"..." 

"WHAT IN THE BLUE HELL IS GOING ON OUT HERE!" The Rock shouted as he stepped out of his room. "I'm trying to de-throne Jericho, here!" 

"I AM THE KING OF THE WORLD!" could be heard from inside the room. 

"Yeah! Jericholand, population: 1" Jeff commented. 

"Now the Rock has his own problems! Kurt is getting high on milk. (Oh it's true, it's damn true) The Rock is trying to de-throne his royal pain in the ass and that beer drinking, foul mouthed rattlesnake is missing!" 

"Th -" 

"Annnd why in the bluest of blue hell is rainbow head, Pearly whites and Mr. Thumb Thingy standing in front of the Peoples Champion in their swim trunks?! Is the heat making the Great One see things?" 

"Um ... no reason," Edge said. 

"No reason! Oh, there's a reason! And you're going to tell me!" The Rock demanded. 

"Um ... it was him!" Edge shouted, pointing to Jeff. 

"Uh ... it was all his idea!" Jeff proclaimed, pointing to Rob. 

"That's right, it was (Thumb Thingy) Rob... Van... Dam! We're going to the pool to cool off." 

_Loooooong pause_

__

__"THE POOL!" The Rock exclaimed with a huge smile across his face. "Well why didn't you say so!" The Rock somehow got changed very quickly "Lead the way!" 

"Hold on a second!" Taker declared. "You said that Austin was gone?" 

"Yeah, so?" The Rock retorted. 

"Hey, show me some respect! Anyway, The Hurri-dork is missing to." 

"So is DDP and we're not sure of Perry," Jeff said. 

"The Rock doesn't care that all these rejects have gone missing! The Rock wants to cool off!" 

So Jeff, Edge and Rob led the group to the pool. It was cooler in here for some weird reason. They found that the girls had beaten them to it and told everyone (except the rejects) about it. So it was one huge party. 

The girls were playing volleyball while some of the guys watched. Jazz was trying to flirt with Kevin Nash while Chris Nowinski (Harvard Boy) was attempting to do the same thing with Molly. Jeff and Rob were doing crazy dives off the diving boards while Jamie Noble and Nidia were making out (as usual). Stacey was staring at Matt, who was moping over Lita. And Lita, she didn't really care. Undertaker and Kane were ... well, I don't know since I can't picture either one in swim trunks. While poor Billy and Chuck were tied to a chair once again. Courtesy of the Dudley boyz and D-Von. 

~*~ 

  
"Bugs eat fire, so they can drink mittens through their nose!" 

"SHUT UP!" 

"WHAT?!" 

"I said Shut -" 

"WHAT?!" 

"I -" 

"WHAT?!" 

"WHOOOO!" 

"WHAT!" 

"You know, we are a sad, sad bunch. I once was told -" 

"WHAT! Shut your trap bird boy! WHAT!" 

"My name is Raven! And I was just going to say that we're -" 

"WHAT! I can't hear you? WHAT! That's not a bad thing! WHAT!" 

"That's a good thing!" *big cheesy grin* 

"What's up wit dat?" 

"Nothing! WHAT! I said nothing! WHAT!" 

"You have boogers on your nose -" 

"Hey, WHAT! The kid made sense! WHAT!" 

"We should celebrate! WHOOOOO!" 

"Boogers crawl into your ear to lay eggs and hibernate!" 

"We _are_ sad. I just- " 

"WHAT!" 

"Stop doing that! They were supposed to cook in there! Then they just had to find the pool!" 

WHAT! Maybe next time we'll have our revenge. WHAT!" 

"STOP DOING THAT!" 

"Yeah, What's up wit dat!" 

"What?" 

"I said -" 

"WHAT? No seriously, I can't hear anything." 

"You know what? You'd think Rob Van Dam would be out here considering he has an annoying phrase to." 

"What are you guys doing out here?" a mysterious guy said behind the misfits. 

"ROB! You've decided to join us! That's great! WHOOOOOO!" 

"Um ... no. I was just wondering if you're going to come in?" Rob asked. 

"Um ... no. We'll mope out here like the filthy things we are." 

"Must you always be such a downer?" Rob asked. 

"It's my trade mark. You know, a guy once said -" 

"WHAT!" 

"Right .... I'm gonna leave now," Rob said as he backed away from them. 

"You eat water so your pencils can fit better." 

"Cool, of course everything's cool when you're (Thumb Thingy) R... V... D..." 

"Tsk, tsk, tsk." 

"Shut up Raven! WHAT!" 

~*~ 

I don't think this one was as good even though it was really long. I was in a hurry to finish it. So, feel free to suggest anything except slash/incest, (Billy and Chuck don't count) No death unless that person is really unimportant, and no sick and twisted stuff. I have writer's block so I might be really slow with next one unless I get back into my groove! Can you tell me if this was worse or better then the last one. 

Toodles! ^_^ 

PS. Please R&R! Don't flame. If it's really that bad then don't read it. 


	5. The Plotless Plot!

30 Days and 30 Nights 

****

**Chapter 5:** THE PLOTLESS PLOT! 

****

**Author's Note:** Ha ha! This one is about the little stuff that happens in between the big stuff. Ok, there's not really a big plot, just a series of little ones. Thank you everyone for the ideas. My goal is to make all of you (most of you) happy! 

****

**Author:** hypr-angl 

_____________________________________________________________ 

**Day 5-**

****

****"THE ROCK DOESN'T WANT TO GROVEL AT YOUR FEET YOU SICK FREEAAK!" 

"But I'm the King of the World!" Jericho declared with a pretentious sneer. "Or can you not read?" he said, pointing to the sign above his head. 

"And what possessed you to put that there?" Kurt asked. 

"ME! What about you, milk boy?!" Jericho retorted. 

"Everyone likes milk! I'm an Olympic champion! Oh it's true, it's damn true!"  


"WHAT! I don't see why you guys didn't join our riot last night? WHAT!" Austin commented. 

"Riot? How can you call it that?! All you did was get everyone hot and watch us frolic in a pool?!" Jericho said. 

"Oh it's true, it's da-" 

"SHUT THE HELL UP!" The Rock roared. "The Rock is sick and tired of all you jabronis! Kurt has an obsession with milk. Jericho has an ego the size of Texas and New Mexico put together. And speaking of Texas, Stone Cold Steve Austin says 'what' at the beginning and ending of every sentence!" 

"... ... ..." 

There was a long pause then everyone ignored the Rock's display of ire, and started fighting again. 

That's when the Rock got up, grabbed Kurt's milk, and splashed it all over the King on his throne. 

"MY PANTS!" 

"MY MILK!" 

"MY ... WHAT!" 

"This means war!" Kurt growled. "No one wastes my milk on him!" 

"ME?! What about my pants!" Jericho complained. 

"WHAT! You have another pair, WHAT! Live with it, WHAT!" 

"If it's war you want then it's war you'll get! So just BRING IT!" The Rock announced. 

Minutes later ... 

"Prepare to suffer the wrath of the King!" Jericho exclaimed as he threw a large object (I don't know what) at the Rock. 

The Rock blocked it with a frying pan and countered with ... a really big book! "Is that the best you can do!" He shouted. "You throw like the Billion Dollar Princess!" 

"You're comparing me to Stephanie!" Jericho yelled in shock. 

"It doesn't matter who the Rock compares you to! You'll still suck just as much as a monkeys-" The Rock paused to face his attacker. "You dare to splash the Rock with milk? Do you know what happens to people that splash the Great One with milk?" 

"Um ... no," Kurt squeaked. 

"THIS!" The Rock shouted as he gave Kurt the Rock Bottom. Unfortunately, Jericho took this opportunity to get The Rock in the Walls of Jericho. 

  
"HAHAHA! You're in my territory now!" he laughed. 

"HA! WHAT?! I said HA! WHAT?!" 

~*~ 

Downstairs in the main area, many of the guys and girls were hanging out. 

Our first stop is at the APA. Though they're on different shows they can still have a nice game of poker. 

"Damn it!" Faarooq shouted, throwing his cards down on the table. 

"What's the matter. Haven't played in a while, huh? Are you getting soft on me?" Bradshaw teased. 

"Shut up. This would be a lot more fun if we were playing strip poker!"  


"Really, Faarooq. I'm not thrilled at the thought of seein' you in just your underwear," Bradshaw commented. 

"No! That's not what I meant! I mean ..." Faarooq motioned his head to where Stacey and Torrie were sitting. 

"Hehe! It's like shooting fish in a barrel!" Bradshaw exclaimed. "HEY GIRLS!" 

"- So anyway, WHAT?!" Stacey said right in the middle of some good gossip. 

"WHAT!" 

"Shut up Austin, haven't you learned anything?" 

"Um ... No." 

"Hey girls! You wanna play some cards?" Faarooq asked. 

"Well, it can't do us any harm," Torrie stated as she and Stacey walked over to the table. 

~*~ 

Just then the door bell rang. 

::Ring:: 

"I'll get it!" Edge volunteered. He opened the door to find a young girl. "And who are you?" 

"I'm an ... anonymous person that likes you!" she said. 

"Um ... you're not a fan girl are you?" Edge asked. 

"Hm ... Last time I checked I wasn't. But if liking you counts then I'm guilty!" she shouted. ::anonymous girl glomps Edges' leg:: 

"WHOA, WHOA! Who are you?" Edge asked as he stumbled back. 

"I'm Melissa! A fan," she smiled. 

"WHAT?!" Edge exclaimed. 

"WHAT?! A fan girl! WHAT!" 

Everyone in the room froze. They new what kind of chaos could happen if they invited a fan in. 

"Ok girlie, nothing to see here," Rikishi declared as he pushed the girl out. 

"CAN I HAVE A LOCK OF YOUR HAIR, EDGE?!" she squeaked. 

"Only if you don't tell anyone we're here," Edge stated, cutting some of his hair out. "Three strands!" 

"YES! These things are worth gold to the others." she squealed. 

"O-Others?" Edge said beginning to panic. "You promise not to invite _any_ friends over, right?" Edge questioned. 

"Sure, whatever!" Melissa replied as she ran off. 

"I didn't like the sound of that. Whatever is not usually something you want to hear," Bradshaw said. 

"Hey man, right now we have our mind set on something else. Right ladies," Faarooq uttered. 

  
"Hm, oh sure!" Stacey and Torrie replied. "But we don't know how to play poker?" 

Bradshaw and Faarooq exchanged big grins. "That's all right ladies, we'll teach you everything you need to know." Bradshaw said. 

~*~ 

"Hm, do I look better with my hair up or down?" 

"I don't know, Steph. Either way you're still a bitch," Lita replied. 

"You know what? I don't like your attitude, missy!" she said, staring Lita in the eye. 

"So? It's not like you own me. I'm on Raw, not Smackdown." 

"HMPH!" Steph snorted. 

"Anyway, Steph. You almost always wear your hair down. So it really doesn't matter," Trish added. 

"WHO ASKED YOU!" Stephanie shouted. 

"OOOOH! Did I get you mad? Just don't get your panties in a bunch," Trish retorted. 

"If my brother wasn't coming over here, I would kick your ass!" she shrieked. 

  
"Your ... brother?" Lita asked. "Is he good looking?" she said, remembering she was over with Matt. 

"NO! Even though he's a McMahon. And if he was, you wouldn't have a chance! So why don't you bug off and fall in love with ... The Hurricane!" Steph shouted. 

"EW!" Molly uttered in disgust. 

"I agree," Lita said. "Wait, weren't you his sidekick?" 

"EX-SIDEKICK!" Molly shouted, not wanting to relive the days when she was the super hero Molly Holly, helping the citizens of the WWE. 

"Right, anyway, my brother is coming here to tell me something important!" Stephanie boasted. 

"Really, like what? Maybe that if your boobs got any bigger, you wouldn't be able to see yourself in the mirror," Trish asked. 

"I think it's nice that her brother is coming to spend some quality time with his sister," Torrie stated. 

"HEY STEPH!" shouted one of the guys from downstairs. "YOUR BROTHER IS HERE!" 

"HA! See, I told you," Steph said. 

She and the other Divas ran downstairs to see what was so important. There was Shane talking to the other guys. They were asking stuff like - "I can't take it!" and "Can you get me out of here?!" 

"WHOA, WHOA! Hold it! The Rock wants the know why Shane McMahon is standing in this very building?!" 

"I ... have something I need to tell my sister," Shane replied. 

"AH! The Million dollar slut!" Jericho exclaimed. 

"The What?" 

"Um ... Nothing!" 

"SHANEY!" Stephanie squealed. 

Shane sighed and turned to his sister. Her ego had received a boost ever since she found out she was General Manager of Smackdown. 

"Um ... yeah. I need to talk to you," he said. 

Everyone huddled in and looked at Shane. 

"_Alone_!" he said. 

Everyone turned around and pretended to be busy. 

Shane walked up to Stephanie and stared at her face. She had a huge grin on her face - almost like she was expecting a trophy. 

  
"WELL?!" she demanded. "Are you here to tell me that you're going to get me out of this place!" 

"Well ..." Shane paused and whispered something in her ear. 

"WHAT!" Stephanie screamed as she reached for her brother's throat. "I'm not paying for all this!" 

"Ah, I see," Rob stated. "Dude, that's like ... COOL! That means if we break anything or cause any major damage, we don't have to pay for repairs!" 

"YOU WILL DO NO SUCH THING!" Steph shrieked. Her face was turning an impressive shade of red because she had just choked her brother to death. (not literally) 

"Right!" Rob squeaked. 

"THAT'S IT! IF ANYONE, AND I MEAN ANYONE, BREAKS ANYTHING, THEY WILL HAVE TO DEAL WITH ME!" 

Everyone started backing away from Steph. 

"THAT'S IT! FEAR ME!" 

Unfortunately. Rob and Edge picked an appropriate time to knock a vase down as they were walking away. Rob had knocked it down. Edge had caught it. (thankfully) The bad part was that when Rob put it back, he did his Thumb Thingy and hit the vase again. This time it collided with the ground. The sound echoed throughout the halls. 

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" Stephanie swivelled her head around to face them. It was official - she had gone off the deep end. 

~*~ 

There was a loud bang at the door of Jeff, Rob's and Edge's room. 

"Who is it?" Jeff asked. He was the only one that stayed behind to watch his favourite show. (I don't know what it is) 

"D - Dude!" Rob whispered. 

"What? I can't hear you? Speak up, man," Jeff said, cupping his hand to his ear. 

"This reeks of stinkosity!" 

"EDGE! I swear, you're freaking me out more and more every day." 

"OPEN THE DOOR!" they yelled. 

Jeff opened the door to reveal a beaten up version of Rob and Edge. 

"Whoa, what happened to you guys?" Jeff enquired. 

"STEPHANIE HAPPENED!" Rob shouted. "It was all Edge's fault." 

"No way!" Edge protested. "You were the one that knocked the vase down! And I just happened to be there!" 

"Whoa, chill guys. Stephanie isn't that strong?" Jeff stated, trying to imagine Steph beating them up. 

"She has long nails!" Edge said. 

"Plus she ... bites!" Rob added. 

"Oh, I see. That's cool." 

"IT'S NOT COOL! IT'S UNCOOL!" Rob exclaimed. 

"That's not a word." Jeff declared. 

"YES IT IS!" 

"What is?" Jeff asked. 

"Uh oh!" Edge stared at Jeff. "It's happening again," 

"Uncool is a word!" Rob complained. 

"What is?" 

"Uncool!" 

"What's uncool?" 

"NO! I'm saying uncool is a word!" 

"Why did you say that?" Jeff questioned. 

"Yo, Jeff! Are you perhaps ... possibly, saayyyyy schizophrenic, by any chance?" Edge enquired. 

"Am I what?" 

"Schizophrenic." 

"Who is?" 

"You are." 

"I am?" 

"Aren't you?" 

"Aren't I what?" 

"Schizophrenic!" 

"Sure!" 

"You are?!" 

"I am?" 

"You just said you were?!" 

"What?" 

"SCHIZOPHRENIC!" 

"What's that?" 

Edge sighed. He wasn't going to fight a battle he couldn't win. So instead he turned his attention to Rob. 

  
"So ..." Edge stated. 

"Yeah ..." 

"Um ..." 

"No way! I already had this conversation with Jeff !" Rob said. 

"Aw crap!" Edge shouted. 

~*~ 

"So ..." 

"What are you lookin' at, boy?" 

"Hm? Oh ... nothing!" The Hurricane said, forcing a smile. 

"You better not be dissin' me! You should show _me_ some more respect!" 

Kane mumbled something. 

"You're right. He needs to be taught a lesson!" Taker said, grinning at the thought of this. 

"NO! I, meant no harm! Really, I didn't!" Hurricane screamed as The Undertaker grabbed his throat. 

"P-Please reconsider your actions!" he squeaked, as he struggled to breath. "Y-You wouldn't h-hurt a super hero?!" 

"Hm ..." 

While Taker thought about this, the Hurricane slipped out of his grasp, crawled to his feet and ran out the door. 

  
"Yeah, I probably would," Taker said. "Where is that moron? That's it! When I find him, he's gonna wish I had choke slammed him through the TV!" he growled. 

~*~ 

Hurricane ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and- you get the idea. 

He kept running till he hit an open door. 

"HOLY SHIT!" 

"WAZZZZAAAP!" 

"Not now D-Von! Spike, why'd you go and open the door in his face?" Buh-Buh asked. 

"I- I didn't know!" Spike said. 

"Well, we might as well bring him in," D-Von stated. 

  
"HEY! That's the smartest thing you've said today, bro!" Spike agreed. 

"But we have already have Billy, Chuck and Matt staying with us?!" Buh-Buh protested. 

"Um ... actually, we left Billy and Chuck in the pool," Spike uttered. 

"CRAP!" they shouted. 

~*~ 

"HELP! PLEASE, SOMEONE!" they cried.  


"It's no use, Billy!" 

"I'm afraid you're right, Chuck!" 

"Well, as long as we're stuck in the equipment room, we should at least try to get this Rico poster off our heads," Chuck said. 

"Well, get your teeth ready," Billy shuddered. 

"But we laminated it! We'll never break through!" Chuck whimpered. 

"HHHHHEEEEEELLLLLLLPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!" 

_____________________________________________________________ 

So, what did ya think? Crappy, wasn't it? Or good, whatever?! Please R&R! 

If you have an obsession or are just a big fan of a certain star, then just tell me your name. (or I can use your pen name. Whichever one you feel comfortable with) And describe yourself a little and I'll see what I can do! Oh, and tell me who your favourite wrestler(s) is/are! (NO DUH!) 

Cya L8r! ^_^ 


	6. WWE, Fans, Chaos!

30 Days and 30 Nights 

****

**Chapter 5: **WWE + FANS = CHAOS! 

****

**Author's Note:** Thanx for the reviews! I'm going to try and add all the fans that decided to take part in this. 

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Carly, Ashley, ArticFox400, Mandy or aZrAel. They own themselves. (Obviously!)****

****

**Author:** hypr-angl 

_____________________________________________________________ 

****

**Day 6-**

****

****"OW!" Shane yelped as he touched his neck which was still red from Stephanie yesterday. "Why does my sister have to be such a spazoid?!" 

"And why do you have to be such a pain in the ass?!" Taker said. 

Shane had to stay with him for one day since he needed to talk things over with Steph. And Taker and Kane had lost their last room mate, Hurricane. 

Suddenly there was a scrape against the window. That drew Shane's attention away from his neck. 

"W-What was that?" he asked, looking around nervously, thinking it might be Steph trying to kill him again. 

Undertaker got up and looked over at the window. 

"Nothin' there, boy! Maybe you've been hanging around your sister too much," Taker commented. 

::RING:: 

I'll get it," Shane volunteered, reaching over to pick up the phone. 

"..." 

"There's no one there? Probably the wrong number," Shane stated. He looked at The Undertaker and saw that he was fidgeting around a lot. He also kept looking behind him. 

"What're you lookin' at?" Taker growled. 

"Um ... nothing!" Shane said. 

"Do you ever get the feeling you're being watched?" 

"Um ... no," 

"SHUT UP!" he shouted. Taker walked over to the closet. He opened it and a girl out flew. "AHHHHHH!" 

"IT'S YOU! YES! I KNEW I HAD THE RIGHT ROOM!" she shouted. 

"Uh ... who are you?" Taker asked. 

"aZrAel! A fan of yours! But don't worry, I would never do anything you to piss you off!" 

"Neither would anyone else," Shane snickered. 

"SHUT UP! This was what I was talking about, RESPECT!" Taker announced. 

"Um ... if it's not too much trouble, could I take some pictures? You know, just as souvenirs," aZrAel grinned. 

"Well ... sure, just don't blind me with your-" 

::FLASH:: 

"OH! Can you see? What did I do? Can you still wrestle? Oh, this is a nice picture!" aZrAel uttered. "Don't worry, I'm not obsessed. I just think you're really cool!" 

"Yeah, whatever," Taker replied. 

"Do you know, what kind of havoc and chaos would ensue if you let her stay here?" Shane questioned, staring at aZrAel. 

She returned it with "Screw you!" 

"Fine, I'll show her the way out!" Taker sighed. "The only person that shows me a bit of respect and I have to throw her out," he mumbled. 

Undertaker grabbed aZrAel and walked downstairs. 

"Hm ... something's not right?" Shane said. 

~*~ 

"You don't have to throw me out! You don't have to listen to Shane! He's a McMahon! You don't listen to McMahon's do you?!" aZrAel panicked. 

"WHOA, WHOA, WHOA!" The Rock shouted. "How did that get in here?" 

"It somehow got in my closet," Taker replied. 

"Is it a fan?" 

"Does it byte?" 

"I'm a girl! Not an inanimate object!" she protested. 

"You can't let her out!" Heyman cried. 

"Finally, someone that agrees with me!" aZrAel sighed. "Wait, not you! You're the last one in the world I would want to agree with!" 

"I mean he can't throw you out because we're trying to keep the doors closed! Apparently, that Melissa girl contacted some people yesterday!" 

"So? It's not like you have any fans?" aZrAel stated. 

"Do you know what would happen if we let the public in here?!" Austin asked. 

"Well-" 

"WHAT?!" 

"I-" 

"WHAT?!" 

"Stop-" 

"WHA-" 

"SHUT UP AND LET ME THINK!" 

"Yes ma'am!" Austin squeaked. 

"Well ... it would be me times a couple thousands of fans and stalkers ... yeah, that wouldn't be nice," aZrAel declared. 

"What do we do? We can't hold the door for much longer?!" Shannon Moore cried. 

"We can use that huge chair that just happens to be there!" Hurricane said. 

"YOU!" Taker shouted, dropping aZrAel. 

"Uh oh!" 

"I'm gonna finish what should have been done yesterday!" he shouted. 

So as Taker chased the Hurricane the others blocked the door from opening with the big chair. 

Suddenly another girl popped out from under the stairs and tackled The Hurricane. 

"HAHAHA! You're mine!" she squealed. 

The Undertaker stopped and watched as The Hurricane was being tortured by of fan. "Hm, I didn't know he had a fan?" Taker turned around and walked back seeing as Hurricane got what he deserved. 

"Who ... are ... you?!" Hurricane said, struggling to breath. 

"Amanda, but you can call me Mandy!" 

"Can you get off my back?!" 

"Wha- Oh, sure! Only if I can have you're autograph!" she grinned handing the super hero a pen and paper. 

Hurricane signed it and Amanda got off. 

"You are quite strong citizen Amanda!" 

"Mandy." 

"Yeah, Mandy. Have you ever considered being a sidekick?" Hurricane offered. "You could ... The Red Robin! Because your hair is slightly redish. 

"ME!" 

"DUDE! You're not going to offer a job as a sidekick to her are you?" 

"Um ... (looks at Mandy) Right. Nevermind!" 

"NO, I'll be your sidekick!" Mandy turned to look at Rob and growled. "One down, four to go!" she said as she jumped out the window. "Now which one is his room?" 

~*~ 

"AHH! GET AWAY FROM ME!" 

Shane stumbled down the stairs with another fan girl behind him. 

"C'mon Shaney! I'm really nice! I would never hurt you!" 

Big show blocked her way. 

"Who are you?" he asked. 

"My name isn't important and if it was I certainly wouldn't tell you!" she said trying to get pass the 7'2 man. 

The Big Show bent down and growled. 

"Uh ... ArticFox400, nice to meet you!" she squeaked. "And especially you, Shaney!" 

"Yeah, I'm sure!" Shane retorted. 

"I LOVE YOU! I'M YOUR NUMBER ONE FAN!" she shouted still trying to get past the Big Show. 

"Of course you are, Shane only has a handful of them," Triple stated. 

"I DO NOT! And since when did you get here?" 

"Oh, right. The author doesn't like me so I'll leave!" and with that, HHH vanished to some other fanfic. 

~*~ 

"Shane has a fan, Undertaker has a fan, WHAT ABOUT ME!" Jericho complained. 

"You're not alone. Rocky and I don't have any fans either," Kurt sighed, pouring another glass of milk. 

"What in the blue hell are you talking about!" The Rock yelled. "The Champ has millions and millions of fans out there! They just haven't shown themselves!" 

"Sure Rocky, you just keep telling yourself that." 

"NEVER CALL THE GREAT ONE ROCKY! EVER!" The Rock threatened Kurt with a milk jug. 

"NOOOOO! Not my milk!" Kurt cried. 

"I LOVE YOU!" 

"WHAT?!" 

"NOT YOU!" 

  
The Rock, Kurt Angle, Chris Jericho and Stone Cold all looked at the window in horror. There, in front of them, was a window full of rabid fan girls. All of them were pushing and shoving each other. 

Three of the girls somehow slipped through the window and collided with the wrestlers. 

"JERICHO, I LOVE YOU!" one of them shouted. 

"Finally, the recognition I deserve!" Jericho sighed in relief. "What's your name little girl?" 

"First of all, I'm not a little girl, secondly, my name is Carly!" ::Carly glomps Jericho's leg:: 

  
"WHOA! Ok then!" 

"Who are the other two?" Kurt asked. "Probably fans of mine that want an autograph!" 

"Or a sign of retirement," The Rock commented. 

"Well, neither, though seeing Kurt retire would be nice, it's not what I'm looking for," said one of the girls. 

"Then what is it? WHAT?!" 

"ME ASHLEY ... JEFF! WHERE IS HE?" The other girl replied. 

"Well, not here," Kurt stated. 

  
"Other room down the hall," Rock said dryly. "Where are the Great One's fans?" 

While one of the girls ran out to hunt down Jeff the other one stared blankly at The Rock. 

"And you are?" he asked. 

"Hm ... Oh, I Amanda!" she said, slightly drooling. "You can call Mandy!" 

"Cool! Hey Mandy!" Kurt uttered. 

"NOT YOU! The Great One!" 

"So, your a fan?" 

"YEAH! Can I have your autograph?!" 

"Well I-" 

Mandy pounced on The Rock. And started shoving the paper and pen at his face "PLEASE!" 

"Alright, alright already!" The Rock said handing the paper and pen back. 

"Yeah, well ... bye!" she smiled as she ran out the door. 

"Yeah ... that was weird," Kurt said, as he finished his milk. 

"WILL SOMEONE GET HER OFF ME?!" Jericho cried. "SHE'S ATTACHED HERSELF TO MY LEG!" 

The others ignored him and proceeded to mope. (except The Rock) 

~*~ 

"Hm ... If I was Jeff Hardy, where would I be?" Ashley pondered as she walked up and down the halls. 

"What's schizophrenia?" 

"Do I have to explain it again, Jeff?!" 

"Explain what?" 

"BINGO!" Ashley shouted as she ran into the room where she heard the voices. 

There she saw Edge, burying his head in his hands till he saw her. 

"AAHHHHH! A FAN GIRL!" he yelped. 

"Cool!" Rob stated. "I mean ... Duuuude!" 

"JEFFY!" she shouted as she jumped on him. 

"Is she schizophrenic?" Jeff asked. 

"No, she's a fan girl," Edge replied. 

"AHHHHH!" he yelled, standing up. 

"I LOVE YOU JEFF! I WOULD FOLLOW YOU FOR EVER AND EVER AND EVER AND EVER AND EVER AND EVER AND-" 

"Whoa, talk about obsession," Rob said. 

"I don't think it's an obsession," Jeff stated trying to wriggle out of Ashley's grasp. "Although I am irresistible!" 

"-AND EVER AND EVER AND EVER AND-" could be heard in the background. 

"Whatever Jeff. We better detach her before she starts to cut the circulation off from your waist below," Edge declared. 

So they detached poor Ashley from Jeff's waist, gave her an autograph and sent her on her way. 

"I'LL BE BACK, JEFF HARDY!" she giggled. As Ashley headed out the door she bumped into Mandy. "Who are you?" 

"Someone you'll never know. Now where's Jeff?!" 

"What are you going to do to my Jeffy?!" 

  
"He's not yours!" 

"Yes he is!" 

"Is not!" 

"Is so!" 

"WHOA LADIES!" Jeff said, interrupting their little squabble. "There's enough of me to go around!" 

Edge and Rob sighed and turned their attention back to the TV. 

"EDGE!" Mandy screamed. 

"Uh oh!" 

"I'm a huge fan of yours to!" 

"Cool!" Edge replied. 

"This isn't cool! I don't have a fan!" Rob whined. 

  
"You cost me a job as the Hurricane's sidekick!" she growled. 

"Oh ... *sniff*" 

~*~ 

"How come there are no fan guys?" Lita pouted. 

"Yeah, all of them are girls!" Trish complained. 

"Stop whining!" Molly shouted. "Just be satisfied we aren't being stalked or anything!" 

"Yeah, but I want to at least be liked or possibly loved by a couple hundred!" Jazz said. 

"That's impossible for you, Jazz," Stephanie laughed. 

"DIE BITCH!" Jazz yelled. 

"Bring it on gorilla!" Steph shot back. 

So once again, another fight was started. Jazz won obviously since Stephanie can't wrestle. 

"I am sooooo bored!" Torrie said. 

"By the way, how'd you and Stacey do with the poker game yesterday," Lita asked. 

"Didn't you play against Bradshaw and Faarooq?" Jazz laughed. 

"I wonder how that turned out?" Trish snickered. 

Stacey and Torrie exchanged worried looks. 

"We played ... strip poker," Stacey replied quietly. 

There was a long pause until that was broken with laughter. Lita and Trish fell off their beds while even Stephanie did a weird cackley thing. 

"It's not funny!" Torrie yelled, going completely red all over. 

"Yeah, we stopped when we were down to our bra and panties!" Stacey shouted. 

Everyone paused again to take it all in. Then they burst out laughing again. 

Torrie slapped Stacey in the back of her head. "You weren't supposed to say that!" 

"It's not like I had it written down!" 

  
So Stacey and Torrie bickered while the other girls laughed themselves to sleep. 

~*~ 

"Ok, what do we do with these four girls?" Taker asked. 

"Actually there's a fifth but we can't find her. Anyway, we'd be happy to stay here!" aZrAel suggested. "Anyone who agrees, raise your hand!" 

The four girls raised their hands. 

"Anyone who disagrees with her, raise your hand!" Jericho declared. 

All the wrestlers raised their hands. 

"This is so unfair!" Ashley said. "Jeff, don't you want me to stay?" 

"Um ... I ... Well, you see-" 

"NO! No one wants you to stay!" Jericho shouted. 

"Jeez, what crawled up your ass and died?" aZrAel enquired. 

"I think I'm deaf?" ArticFox400 stated as she took hands off her head. 

"PLEASE JERICHO! I'LL DO ANYTHING!" Carly pleaded. 

"THEN GO!" he screamed. 

"Well, I should've said I'll do anything to stay here with you," Carly corrected herself. 

"GO!" 

"Yep, it's confirmed. I'm completely deaf," ArticFox400 said. 

"Dude! Look what you did now, Jericho!" Rob exclaimed. 

  
"Yeah, you've gone and broken the kid," Taker uttered. 

"I've cracked a flip?" she said, looking around. "Wha?" 

"Now she's talking like Perry!" 

"OK, OK, OK!" Jericho walked over to the girls. 

"You mean you're going to let us stay!" aZrAel asked 

"Hell no! I'm going to drive you brats away by giving you guys money. 

"YOU'RE GOING TO KILLING A BUNNY! NOOOO!" ArticFox400 cried. 

"MONEY!" Ashley repeated. 

"Funny? There's nothing funny about killing an innocent little bunny!" 

Suddenly Mandy came running down the stairs. "JEFF! WHERE'S YOUR BROTHER?!" 

"Him? You can't be serious!" Jeff said. 

"Where is he?!" she shouted. 

Jeff thought for a minute. _"I want my bro to suffer for what he did. What other way then to send a fan girl to his room!" _"You'll find him in the Dudley boyz room with the Hurricane. 

"WHAT!?" Mandy asked. "Hurricane and Matt hardy in the same room! YES!" she squealed as she ran back up the stairs. 

"WAIT!" aZrAel called after her. "Jericho wants to give you money!" 

"OH! Money! I like!" 

"But I-" 

"Give it to her, Jericho!" The Rock said, raising a threatening eye brow. 

"UGH! Fine!" he huffed as he handed the money to her. 

"I don't want any money! I just want you!" she sighed. 

"Right ..." 

"HEY! Where's Shane?" ArticFow400 shouted. 

"I'm over here!" 

"There's no beer?" 

"Listen, I gave you money, I begged on my knees-" 

"No you didn't!" Ashley said. 

"Damn it!" Jericho yelled as he bent down on his knees. "THERE! Are you happy?!" 

Ashley stepped on his foot. 

"OW! WHAT WAS THAT FOR?!" he cried. 

"For what you did to Jeffy on last Raw!" 

"Cool! He totally deserved that," Jeff agreed. 

"OK!" Jericho sobbed. "I can't think of anything else to make you leave!" 

"FINE! I'll settle for an autograph and a hug!" Carly declared. 

"YES! THEN YOU'LL LEAVE!" He shouted grabbing the paper. "Here you go!" 

"And the hug?!" 

"UGH!" he sighed as he gave Carly a hug that lasted four seconds. 

"OK! bye!" she waved as she went out the front door. Fortunately, all the fans outside got tired and left. 

Taker stared at aZrAel. "NO WAY! I only give hugs to my wife." 

"I'll just go for a handshake!" she offered, holding out her hand. 

"Yeah, sure. Whatever," he replied dryly. 

"Thanks. Ok, bye people." aZrAel waved good bye and left the building. 

"Two down, three to go," they sighed. 

Then Mandy came running down the stairs with the Hurricane's mask and Matt Hardy's shoe in her hands. 

"Hey! Is that one of my arm stocking things?!" Jeff shouted. 

"YEAH! BYE PEOPLE!" she yelled as she raced out the door followed by Matt and The Hurricane. 

"OH! That remind me, Jeff, can I have one or your arm thingys?!" Ashley asked. 

"Well, I just had one stolen from me and now you-" 

Ashley gave him the puppy dog eyes. 

"I ... Uh ... FINE!" Jeff gave in and handed her his arm thingy. 

"Can I have your necklace too?" 

"O ... Kay!" 

"AND YOUR SHIRT?!" 

"No, good bye!" he said quickly pushing her out the door. 

"What? What's going on?" ArticFox400 cried. 

"Your leaving!" Jericho said. 

"I'm weaving?" 

Jericho hit her head with his hand. 

"JERICHO!" Shane shouted. 

  
"Hey, I can hear! Cool, there must have been something stuck in my ear!" 

"Uh oh," Shane gulped. 

"SHANEY! Where are the others?" she asked. 

"They left and you're leaving to." 

"WHOA! WAIT! Don't you need to bribe me with something?" 

"She does have a point," Edge agreed. 

"I have nothing to bribe you with?" 

"Except for the one thing you have tons of," The Rock stated. 

"MONEY!" she cried. "HOW MUCH?!" 

"Your scary. Here take ... seven hundred. That should keep you happy." 

"Yeah, sure, BYE!" 

"PHEW! That's the last of them!" Shane sighed. "How long did that last?" 

"All day. Now we need to hit the sack!" Rikishi yawned. 

All the wrestlers turned to the stairs, ready to go back to their rooms. But they saw a young girl with long wavy black hair standing at the bottom of the stairway. She smiled at them and moved out of their way. After they were all asleep, the girl walked out side. 

"If you thought that was tiring-" she said. "-wait till you see what happens tomorrow!" She quietly laughed to herself and turned around. She headed Back to her computer to type another day of total chaos for them all. 

_____________________________________________________________ 

So, was it good? I hope so. Special thanks to aZrAel, ArticFox400, Carly, Ashley, and Amanda. I don't know if you guys actually act that way but it's a humour fic everything is wacko and out of proportion. 

And if you don't know who the girl was at the end, it was me. I just thought I'd add that. 

I think I type to fast. My next chapter will take me forever since I don't have the slightest clue what to write about. I have an idea but that's it. Feel free to suggest anything. 

Cya L8r! ^_^ 


	7. Rodents and War!

30 Days and 30 Nights 

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**Chapter 5: **RODENTS AND WAR! 

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**Author's Note: **Thanx for reviewing my story! This time, there's a little ... rodent infestation. And Stephanie is being the stubborn one cause she doesn't want to pay for a someone to get rid of the little things. If you don't like rodents or don't like to read about them, then turn your attention to something else! (I got the idea when my mum found a rat in the backyard!) 

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**Disclaimer: **Once again I own diddley squat! 

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**Author:** hypr-angl 

_____________________________________________________________ 

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**Day 7-**

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****"EEK!" 

"What is it now?" Molly asked as she stepped out of the bathroom with a head full of curlers. 

"Th-the bag! It moved!" Stephanie shrieked, pointing with a trembling hand at her purse. 

Molly walked over to it and picked it up. "There's nothing to worry about!" she said, examining the bag. Just then, a huge furry ... thing threw itself on Molly and got tangled in her hair. 

"AHHHHHHHH!" Stephanie screamed as she ran out of the room. 

Molly was twisting and yanking at the rat, while screaming her head off. 

"Oh my god!" Trish exclaimed as she walked into the room to find Molly fighting the rat. She ran over and practically ripped it off. 

"It's a rat, it's a rat, it's a rat, it's a rat!" Molly chanted. 

"EEEWWWWW! I touched it!" Trish grumbled, looking at her hands. She lifted her head to see what it was. "EEEEEEEEEEEEEKKKKKKKK!" 

So Molly and Trish were on their chairs screaming. 

Suddenly, Stephanie burst into the room, screeching and brandishing a broom. She almost resembled Xena but with a bigger chest and brown hair. She swatted at the thing over and over again. Unfortunately, the rat was too fast for her and scurried into a little hole next to the TV. 

Soon, everyone was gathered around the girls room to see what was going on. It was very early in the morning (7:00-ish) and everyone was in their pyjamas and night gowns. 

"What's going on?" Kurt asked rubbing his eyes. "You guys were so loud I spilt milk all over me!" 

"You mean all over your pyjamas ... which has cows on it," The Rock sighed. 

"Who disturbs the Kings sleep?!" Jericho yawned. 

Then a rat (or mouse) ran by, causing Kurt to squeal like a little school girl. He jumped into Jericho's arms but was quickly dropped to the cold floor. 

"Don't be such an assclown ... ASSCLOWN!" he shouted. 

"SEE! It's a rat!" Steph squeaked. 

"You sound like a rat. Anyway, The Rock thinks it was a mouse," The Rock corrected. 

Then Lita walked out with a dead rat and mouse in each hand (she had gloves on of course). 

"Jazz sat on them," she said. 

"I did not!" Jazz protested. 

"EWWW! Do you have to show us those things?" Matt uttered. 

"Hm ... so you don't like them. I can use these as Matt repellent," she stated. 

"So you girls mean to say that the place is infested with rodents?" Heyman asked. "Do you by any chance need ... protection?" he grinned. 

"Don't even think about it you perverted sicko!" Lita and Trish shouted. 

"Whoa! Ok, but the place is infested, right?" he asked. 

"Don't tell Kurt that. He might wet his pants again," Taker snickered. 

"I-I will not! I just don't like rats or mice," Kurt muttered. 

"Because you're a little sissy. You're more a girl then you are man!" Taker commented, punching Kurt in the arm. 

"OW! That, like, hurt!" 

Taker laughed and turned his attention back to the problem. 

"Hey, Steph. If you're so freaked by them, why don't you hire someone to get rid of these things?" he asked. 

"ME! PAY! NEVER! I already have to pay for all of you to stay here!" she exclaimed. 

"But we can't afford it. Well we could but you're a McMahon," Torrie said. 

"And all McMahon's have loads of money!" Stacey added. 

"HEELLLOOOO! I'm not the only McMahon in the building!" Stephanie stated as she looked around for her annoying brother. 

"Actually, you are," Kane grumbled. 

Everyone quickly swivelled their heads to look at the Big Red Machine. Those were the first words he had said since they arrived. 

"..." 

"Dude! I know what you mean!" Rob said. "I saw Shane leave this morning. He said he had something to take care of and that he would be back next week." 

"NEXT WEEK!" she screeched. 

"I mean the day after tomorrow," Rob stated. 

"UGH! I want these things out of my sight now!" she declared. 

"Steph, the rodents don't know what you're saying," Jericho pointed out. 

"Can we all go back to sleep! The Rock is tired!" 

"I agree, this rodent problem reeks of stinkosity!" Edge yawned. 

Everyone stared at him in disbelief. 

"I thought you and Christian weren't a tag team anymore. Unless we've all stepped back into a time warp," Lance asked. 

Christian shuddered at the thought of becoming partners again with his brother, who in his mind, had no Canadian pride. 

"I mean this ... sucks!" Egde corrected. 

"That's cool, of course everything is when you're AHHHH!" 

"You're not aaahhhhh? Egde, is he schizophrenic?" Jeff enquired. 

"Maybe, you never can tell," Edge sighed. 

"No, something brushed up against my leg," Rob shouted. 

  
"It must have been another rat," Booker said. "Now can you dig that, SUCKA!" 

"NO! I can't dig that!" Rob complained. 

Everyone argued out in the halls about what to do. Stephanie was still stubborn as ever and everyone new that she was the only that could pay for the extermination of the rodents. 

~*~ 

"Hey, Jeff!" Edge said as he walked by. He noticed Jeff was writing down something on a piece of paper. "What are you doing?" He asked. He bent down to look at the pad. Rats: 7 Mice: 4 

"You like it!" Jeff asked enthusiastically. 

"You're keeping track of the rats you see? How do you know you're not seeing the same two rats over and over again?" 

"Cause all the rats have different markings!" Jeff said. "One had stripes, another had a big spot on the back and one even had blue polka dots!" 

"Blue polka dots?" Rob asked. "That is totally cool!" 

  
"Blue polka dots? That's seriously impossible." Edge commented. 

"No, not when one crawls in my hair dye," Jeff grinned. "Luckily I carry more!" 

"Yeah ... lucky you," Edge sighed. 

"Hm ... R8, R9, R10, M5, M6, R11, M7 & 8," Jeff continued on and on annoying the heck out of Rob and Edge. 

~*~ 

"JUST CALL!" the girls screamed. 

"Never!" Stephanie argued. She folded her arms in front of her and turned around to find five mice and nine rats were staring her right in the eye. "EEEEEEEEKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!" 

All the girls climbed on to something high and grabbed their brooms and pans. They began to swat with all their might with no such luck. Then wouldn't you know it, more flooded in. Now the ground ... well, you couldn't see the ground with all the rats. 

They all stopped swatting and looked closely at the mice and rats. 

"Wait! Why are some of the mice and rats green, blue and blonde?" Trish questioned. 

"Some must have gotten in Jeff's hair dye!" Lita said. 

Torrie, who was closest to the door, jumped into the halls. "I'll find some help! she shouted. 

~*~ 

Torrie ran down the halls. She stopped at Jeff's room and popped her head in. 

"Hey Torrie!" Rob greeted. "Everything cool over there?" 

"No! The things have totally infested our room!" she cried. 

"Whoa, they've accomplished something that no man has done before!" Edge stated. 

"I think they're high on Jeff's hair dye!" she said. 

"_My_ hair dye! What makes you think it was mine! A lot of guys dye their hair!" Jeff protested. 

"Jeff, just a minute ago you said that one had got into your blue dye," Edge said. 

"Oh ... I did?" 

Edge sighed and followed Torrie to her room. He saw all the little rodents scurrying in every direction. 

"WHOA!" Jeff exclaimed. "R15, R16, R17, R18, R19, M22, M23, M24, R36, R37, R38, M47 ..." 

"SHUT UP JEFF! Now is not the time to be counting!" Rob shouted, swimming through the rats and mice to help the girls. 

"WAIT!" Jeff yelled. 

"WHAT NOW!" Edge grumbled. 

"They're not high on my hair dye. (glares at Torrie and Edge) They're attracted to the girls cosmetics!" 

~*~ 

"I don't like this!" Test whined as he pulled a mouse out of his underwear box. 

"Do you think there's any Canadian rodents?" Lance asked. 

  
"Do you think we care right at the moment!" Christian yelled, swatting one off Test's back. 

  
"These things are totally out of control!" 

"Have no fear! The Hurricane's h- AHHHHHHHH!" Hurricane screamed when he saw a rat was chewing on his beloved cape. "GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF!" 

"What is it now, Hurri-dork?!" 

The Hurricane was being bombarded by little fury creatures. He jumped up and got his cape caught on a hook in the ceiling. So as he dangled helplessly, the rats and mice were jumping up, trying to bite at the poor defenceless super hero. 

Then Billy and Chuck tumbled in and immediately shrieked like little school boys. They miraculously fainted on the spot. 

"Remind me to hurt them later," Test muttered. 

"Um ... help!" Hurricane grunted, twisting and turning trying to get loose but looked down to see the little things drooling. "Hehe ... I'll make myself comfortable!" 

~*~ 

"WAAAZZZZAAPPPPP!" 

"D-Von, please! Now is not appropriate time to be doing that!" Spike cried. "Are these things multiplying?" 

"Hey bro! Why don't you sit on them?!" D-Von suggested. 

  
"No way, man! I don't want a dead rodent stuck to my butt!" 

Then the Big Show and Rikishi just happened to appear out of the blue. They walked towards the rats and mice slowly. The poor little creatures backed away in the corner, trembling. 

"WHOOOO!" 

"FLAIR!" 

"Sorry." 

"This is as easy as cutting cake!" Rikishi uttered to the Big Show. 

The Big Show nodded to Rikishi and they continued to scare the things to death. 

~*~ 

"Uh oh! Where's Jeff?!" Edge panicked. 

"Knowing him, he's probably making friends with the enemy." Rob laughed. 

"No, really?" 

"He said he was going to count all the other mice and rats in the place. 

"I'm here!" Jeff announced. 

"Where'd you go?!" 

"Somewhere!" 

"No duh!" Edge said. (big veins pulsating from his head now) 

"Whoa dude! Chill," Rob grinned. 

"SHUT UP!" 

"Yo, Edge. You do realize all the girls are out of the room and you should probably close the door now," Jeff said. 

Edge looked at what he was doing and went beet red. 

"Hehe, I knew what I was doing!" 

"Sure, dude!" Rob said giving Edge two thumbs up. 

::Ding Dong:: 

"I'll get it!" Steph volunteered. She ran downstairs where mostly everyone else was. When she opened the door, she saw a van. Out of the van came a guy with a big backpack type thingy. He had a huge vacuum thing in his hand and a clip board in the other. 

"Sign here," he said dryly. 

"What it this all about?!" she said, grabbing the clip board away from him. 

"Pest control." 

"WHAT?!" 

"Yeah, some guy named ... I don't know. Some guy reported a rodent infestation here," he said holding up his vacuum thing. 

"N-No! There must be s-some mistake!" she stuttered. 

"Nope. He told me you would be paying," he coughed, handing out a bill. 

"FINE!" She said signing the clip board. "Now let me see that bill! It can't be that expensive!" Stephanie's eyes bulged out of her head when she saw it. "THAT STUPID, NO GOOD, PIECE OF CRAP! WHEN I GET MY HANDS AROUND HIS LITTLE THROAT I'M GONNA-" 

"By the way, he also told me how many there are," he said as nine other guys stepped out of the van. 

"How does Shane know?!" 

"Shane? Oh, well he said he got the info from one of the guys here. Goes by the name ... Jeff Hardy? That Jeff guy gave us the exact number. I think it was seven hundred something," 

By this time, Steph's temper was almost as big as her head. Then freakishly, she calmed down. 

"O ... Kay *twitch*" 

"Right, C'mon guys! Let's move in! Oh lady, by the way, I'm Exterminator Bob," 

"Right, Ben." 

"Bob!"  


"Whatever," Stephanie said dryly. "Wait! Where do we stay?" 

"Um ... in the backyard I guess," 

"WHAT! Do you know who I am! I am Stephanie McMahon! Daughter of Vince McMahon and sister to the annoying Shane McMahon." 

"So?" 

** Later that night ... 

"THIS IS DEGRADING! WHEN I GET MY HANDS ON SHANE HE IS SOOOO GOING TO REGRET THE DAY HE MESSED WITH ME!" 

"Steph, you give Family Feud a whole new meaning," Lita commented. 

"You also give Boob Job a whole new meaning," Trish added. 

"Aren't you mad at him!" Steph asked. "I mean, look where we are!" 

  
"In a tent in the backyard," Torrie said. 

"YEAH!" 

"Don't tell me you've never gone camping?" Molly uttered. 

  
"But-" 

"Steph, we're tired. Can you pipe down and let us get some rest," Stacey yawned. 

  
"Yeah ... rest," Jazz muttered. 

But- ... I- ... Arent- ... UGH!" 

~*~ 

"I can't believe you told Shane!" Egde shouted. 

"Whoa dude-" 

"SHUT UP!" 

"Ok," Rob said. 

"How could you?!" 

"I didn't know we were going to have to sleep outside?!" Jeff said innocently. 

"Where did you think we were going to sleep?!" Edge yelled. 

"Um-" 

"Don't answer that, please! UGH!" 

"What's the matter. Afraid of getting bugs in your hair?" Rob teased. 

Edge glared at him and Jeff till he drifted to sleep. 

"Dude, this is totally cool! Of course, everything is when your *yawn* Rob ... Van ... Dam!" 

"And everything is Xtreme when your Jeff ... Har ... Dy!" 

Rob and Jeff looked at Edge, waiting for him to do the same. 

  
"Wha? *snort* Oh yeah, everything reeks of stuff when your Edge ... something ... or other!" he muttered with his eyes closed. 

"Dude!" 

"Cool!" 

~*~ 

"Hello? ... Anyone?!" Hurricane cried as he hung there in the dark. "I'm still here! Help! I- OW!" Hurricane fell to the floor knocking himself unconscious for the rest of the night. Until the morning when he would wake up in rat and mice droppings. 

_____________________________________________________________ 

I kinda rushed when I wrote this so don't blame me if it's not as funny. I hope you enjoyed! Please R&R! 

Bi! ^_^ 

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	8. When Animals Attack!

30 Days and 30 Nights 

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**Chapter 8:** WHEN ANIMALS ATTACK! 

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**Author's Note: **YAY! I finally thought of a plot! very wacked out as usual but hey, it's humour! 

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**Disclaimer: **I hate owning nothing! ::pouts:: WAIT! I own the guy named Ben and other civilians. 

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**Author:** hypr-angl _____________________________________________________________ 

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**Day 8-**

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****Taker was enjoying himself in his chair, doing nothing (probably thinking up ways to torture the Hurricane if he ever came back). He noticed something move out of the corner of his eye. He cautiously walked over to the closet. He opened it, expecting another fan girl to pop out and glomp him. 

"What's wrong?" Kane muttered. 

"Hm ... I thought I heard something," Taker replied, rubbing his chin. 

"It was probably a rat. Or another fan girl." 

"Or the one that left two chapters ago," he said, sitting back down. 

  
"..." 

"Yeah, I know," 

Kane got up and to go to the bathroom when he noticed a shoe that was neither his, Taker's or any other former room mates. 

"This yours?" he asked. 

  
Taker shook his head slowly. "WAIT! Kane, don't go in there!"  


Kane ignored his brother and kept walking until he was bombarded by someone. 

"No way! Not this crap again!" Taker sighed. 

"Hi! I'm Death Scribe! I missed you guys two chapters ago." 

"And you are?" Taker enquired. 

  
"KANE'S FAN GIRL! By the way, there's a girl named Femalephenom outside that wants to talk to you," she said, pointing a finger at Taker. 

Taker looked outside his window. "Yeah, you can tell her to -" 

"TAKER!" Kane interrupted. 

"Yeah, yeah. Tell her I said hi," 

"Better." 

"So what are you going to do with me?" Death Scribe asked. 

~*~ 

"ALL RIGHT! GET OUT OF HERE!" Taker yelled as he threw Death Scribe out the door. "I'm not going through that again. 

"YES! I got his number!" she yelled as she pranced away. 

"You gave her your number?" Taker asked. 

"Um ... NO!" Kane said. 

"It's bad enough I find out you have fans. Now you're giving them your number? Next thing you know, you'll be sending fruit baskets!"  


"Hm!" 

"UGH!" 

~*~ 

Then a limo pulled up in the driveway and out came Shane. He looked around for any sign of Steph. 

"HEY DUDE!" Rob yelled. "You're back already!" 

"SHHH! I don't want Steph to know I'm here!" Shane hissed. 

"Dude, right!" Rob replied nodding his head. 

"SHUT-" 

"AHA! So my cowardly brother has come back!" Stephanie uttered. 

"Oh, uh ... HI!" Shane squeaked. 

"And what brings you here?" she asked. 

Shane straightened himself and replied calmly. "Well, I was wondering how you like my early birthday present that you received yesterday?" 

Stephanie growled at him but kept her cool. "It was ... pleasant!" she said, forcing a hideous smile. 

"Suuuuure it was!" he grinned. "Anyway, I have some more wonderful news from dad." 

"UGH! What does he have planned now! A walk in the park?!" 

"Hey Steph! It's your lucky day!" Shane said. "You know how dad said he wanted you guys to have some fun?" 

"No." 

"Well he did. So he booked you guys to go to the zoo!" 

Stephanie's jaw dropped and she made a weird noise that happen to pop out. "Uhfeh?" (I think she was cursing) 

"That's the spirit!" Shane beamed, slapping his sister on the back. "And don't worry about them escaping. There will be guards and everything!" 

"ArenIluhy," she said hardly moving her lips. 

"What?" 

"Aren't I lucky!" she said again through gritted teeth. 

"You better inform them. The vans will be here any minute now. And if you refuse to go, then they'll just drag your sorry ass there!" he added. 

Shane waved bye-bye and hopped into his limo. With one last laugh he drove off, leaving Stephanie speechless. 

~*~ 

"YES! YES! YES! YES! YES!" Jeff shouted enthusiastically, once again jumping on his bed. 

"DUDE! That is so cool! Of course, everything is when your (Thumb Thingy) Rob ... Van ... Dam!" 

Edge sighed and shook his head. "Jeff, do I really have to tell you not to jump on the bed.  


"Jump on what?" 

"The bed!" 

"What about the bed?" 

"Don't jump on it!"  


"... ... ... I have a dog!" 

"What does that have to do with you jumping on the bed again?" 

  
"Who's jumping?"  
  
"YOU!" 

"Oh (looks down) so I am," Jeff said proudly and immediately stopped. 

"Y-You're listening to me?!" Edge stated in amazement. 

"Uh ... yeah!" Jeff said plainly. "Why wouldn't I?" 

"B-But-! Y-You-! I?! You said-" Edge stuttered. 

Jeff shrugged off Edge's odd behaviour and turned to Rob. 

  
"So ... where are we going?" he asked calmly. 

Rob looked at him worriedly. "Uh ... the zoo." 

"Oh!" Jeff replied. Then he turned around and totally spaced out. 

"Do you think he has something called a window of clarity?" Rob asked. 

"Why do you say that?" Edge enquired. 

"I don't know. I saw it on Mad TV," Rob stated. "Is he alright?" 

"Maybe all the excitement was too much for him," Edge replied. 

"Whoa!" Rob said, waving his hand in front of Jeff's face. Jeff, who was staring at the door with his mouth partially open, didn't even blink or flinch. "Is he dead?" 

"Probably," Edge uttered. "But we might as well bring him along with us. Maybe we can sell him to a bunch of apes, wait ... Stephanie, I mean Bischoff, would have a fit." 

"True. Very true." Rob agreed. 

They nodded and grabbed Jeff's arms and dragged him downstairs. 

~*~ 

"We're going to the zoo! Now can you dig that, SUCKA!" Booker yelled, doing the spin-a-rooni. 

Goldust did his weird thing where he ran his hands up his chest and made some weird sound. "Right Booker!" he agreed. 

"Yo man, listen up! The five time, (lifting a finger every time he says it) five time, five time, five time, five time WCW champion might just meet some nice ladies over there!" 

"Do you think I could have a chance?!" Goldust asked. 

"HA!" laughed a guy from the corner of the room. He stepped up to reveal himself as the weird guy with no sense of humour or any other laughable traits except his wrestling ability ... Raven! "HEY!" (whoops! Got out of control again!) 

"Yeah anyway, Goldust. You couldn't attract Rosie O'Donnel. What chance do you think you have of even getting the attention of an actual woman?!" he laughed. 

"Am I *sniff* really that unattractive?" Goldust whimpered. 

"No. Cow shit is unattractive! You ... you're just ... you!" Raven shouted. 

"Yo! Don't you go dissin' people I happen to know!" Booker interrupted. 

"AWW! Isn't this cute! Booker and Goldust sitting in a tree. Play-ing-with-their -!" Raven stopped when Booker attempted to punch his face. Raven laughed, frowned, turned away and walked out the door without a care in the world. 

~*~ 

"The Rock doesn't want to go to the zoo with Jerky, Milk boy and _him_!" 

"WHAT?!" 

"Who says I have to come with you assclowns?!" Jericho complained. 

"Stephanie said if we didn't go, Vince would have some guys drag us out," Kurt explained. 

"No shit Sherlock!" Jericho shouted. 

  
"Your welcome!" Kurt grinned. 

"The Rock is sick and tired of hanging out with you guys! He is fed up!" 

"SO?! Everyone is fed up of hearing you talk in _the _third person!" Kurt burst out. 

  
"Shut up assclown! All of you can go but the King will remain here on his royal -" 

"CANDY ASS!" The Rock added as he, Austin and Kurt grabbed Jericho and literally dragged him. All the while Jericho was kicking and screaming his 'pretty' blonde head off. 

  
"Release me at once! I command you!" 

~*~ 

**At the Zoo-**

****

****"EDGE! Jeff's heavy!" Rob whined. 

"All we have to do is carry him over there (points to men's room) and leave him there till he snaps out of it!" 

  
Suddenly, Jeff's cell phone rung, snapping Jeff back to the reality of things. Edge and Rob immediately dropped him. 

"Huh?!" he muttered. "Oh!" Jeff picked up his phone and answered it. 

"Yes, hello? ... Uh huh! ... Not you again! ... No, I've been there to many times. ... Say wha? ... I don't know where I am! And no, you can't have me or kidnap me! ... I don't care if some other girl told you! ... yeah, bye!" 

"Who was it?" Edge asked. 

  
"That fan girl ... Ashley! She wants to take me to Disneyland. She said some girl ... hypr-angl or something told her I could go. Hm ... I was wondering what those threatening phone calls were for ..." 

"So ..." 

"I said no. Now where are we?" he asked looking around. "THE ZOO!" he shouted. 

"So you finally figured it out," Rob and Edge said dryly. 

"I wanna see some animals! SO MANY! What about the lions first?!" Jeff suggested, hopping around everywhere. 

"Um ... how about something without really sharp teeth," Edge said. 

  
"Or a tendency to hurt people if they're bugged by a weird, hyper, crazy guy that changes his hair colour every month," Rob added. 

"Fine! How about the man-killing parrots!" he asked, nodding his head rapidly. 

"Man ... killing?" 

" ... Parrots?" 

"What?" 

"You have a warped mind!" they said together. 

~*~ 

"AWWWWW! Look at the cute bunnies!" Lita cried. 

"They are sooo adorable!" Trish squealed. 

"I wanna take one home!" Molly said. 

  
"I'm gonna buy one!" Steph declared. 

  
"For what? The Smackdown mascot?!" Jazz snickered. 

"NO! Three things! First of all, Smackdown doesn't have a mascot! Secondly, I'm gonna keep it myself!" 

"And ..." 

"Oh, did I say three?" Steph asked. 

"I'm buying one too!" Lita and Trish uttered. 

So all the girls except Jazz bought a bunny to cuddle up too, rather then a guy. 

"Jazz, why don't you get one?" Torrie enquired. 

"Knowing her, she'd probably sit on it," Stacey laughed. 

  
Jazz went red and started beating the crap out of Stacey. 

"We have to do something!" Stephanie cried. 

"We have to save her!" Trish said. 

"Yeah!" Lita agreed. 

"Which one? Stacey or Jazz?" Torrie asked. 

"Who said anything about them?" Trish stated. 

"Yeah, we were talking about the bunny!" Lita said. 

So the girls grabbed the bunny and left Jazz and Stacey to duke it out till the bitter end. Or just until someone got embarrassed about fighting in public. 

~*~ 

"OH! Birds!" Raven shouted, running towards the cages. 

"Yo, listen up. We're gonna get back at that bird lovin' freak for calling me down!" Booker whispered. 

"And me!" Goldust added. 

  
"Yeah, yeah whatever!" Booker said. "Now here's the plan ... (whispering)" 

Goldust walked, wait, strutted up to Raven and tapped him on the shoulder. 

"Excuse me. Would you like a bite of my cotton candy?" He asked, chucking a piece in his mouth. 

"Um ... no! Get lost freak!" 

"Wait! Truce! I just thought you'd want some. Hm ... I see you like birds!" he nodded. 

  
"Hello! My name is Raven! I think that tells you something!" Raven stated. 

"Uh ... Do you know anything about them?" Goldust asked, trying to look interested. 

"Oh sure! You see, the raven blah blah blah blah blah etc." 

"I see!" Goldust nodded again, trying to sound convincing. 

"Anyway -" 

"Hey look! Is that Britney Spears!" he pointed. 

"Where!" Raven asked. 

Just then, Goldust pushed Raven over. Booker was crouching on the other side by Raven's feet. Raven fell into a cage and released the man-killing parrot. 

"SEE! I told you there was such a thing!" Jeff cried. 

  
"WHOA!" Edge and Rob uttered in amazement. Not just that there was actually a man-killing parrot, but Jeff actually knew what he was talking about. 

  
Raven slowly came to but was viciously attacked by the evil parrot. He covered his face to make sure it didn't peck his eyes out. Unfortunately, the parrot was aiming for something a little lower. 

"OOOHHHHHHHHH!" Raven howled in pain. 

The parrot flew around and knocked into a cage, opening it coincidentally. Which cage was it? Guess ... OK it was the rhino's. 

It charged at everything it saw. Then it spotted Rhyno (the wrestler) and totally went berserk. It charged at him with such force that when impact was made, it knocked over another cage. This pattern continued over and over till chaos ensued once more. 

~*~ 

"EEEKKKKKKKKK!" Stephanie shrieked. 

The animals stopped and howled in pain. (so did everyone else) 

"THAT'S IT!" The Rock shouted. "The Rock has an idea. Stephanie will use her extremely annoying voice to render the thing's helpless!" 

"I'm not wasting _my_ beautiful voice for that!" Steph protested. 

"Don't be such a stubborn bitch!" Jericho yelled as he ran by, followed shortly by an ape and the man-killing parrot. 

"OH MY GOD! JERICHO!" Steph screamed. 

"If you want to save Jericho, then use your extremely annoying voice and do what The Rock says!" he ordered. 

So Stephanie finally did what she was told and started screeching like ... well, it was too horrible for words. 

After that fiasco, and all the animals were put back in their cages, the owner came up to Stephanie to have a little chat. 

"I AM NOT PAYING FOR THIS!" she yelled. 

"You're paying! Or am I going to have to give your dad a call!" he threatened. "By the way, my name is Ben!" 

"I don't care what your name is!" She screamed, handing him the cheque. 

He smiled and left her alone. Stephanie, meanwhile, lined all the wrestlers up to find out who caused all the trouble. 

"WELL!" She demanded. "Who did it?" 

Everyone was totally silent. 

"FINE! If you don't tell me who started it then I'm going to use this voice for more then just singing!" she said opening her mouth. 

Everyone quickly pointed to Booker, Goldust and Raven. They grinned sheepishly and awaited their punishment. Stephanie gave them a long lecture about being more mature and stuff while everyone waited. 

"HEY! Where's Jeff!" Edge panicked. 

"Last time I saw him, he was talking to a lion," Rob stated. 

"A lion?" 

Edge and Rob walked over to the cage and saw Jeff cuddling up to a huge lion in the corner. 

"Huh?! Oh, hi guys," he yawned while getting out of the cage. 

"Y-You! You slept next to a lion while this whole thing was going on?!" Edge shouted. 

"Don't have a cow, dude!" Rob exclaimed. 

  
"It's funny you should mention that!" Jeff said with a laugh. 

"SHUT UP!" Edge yelled. 

~*~ 

"So, now that I'm done with them - (we see Booker, Goldust and Raven all cleaning out their ears) I want a thank you from every single on of you! Especially you Chrisy!" she squealed. 

"Thank you Stephanie!" They all said in unison. 

"That's better! I want to talk to Jericho later," she giggled. 

Jericho shuddered and walked back to the vans. 

~*~ 

"So Steph!" Shane said. "How was it yesterday?" he asked. 

"SHUT UP!" she said. 

"C'mon! I want full details," he grinned. 

"I said SHUT UP!" she screeched as she kicked him out. "AND DON'T COME BACK UNTIL TOMORROW!" 

"Sheesh. What did I say?" Shane questioned, rubbing his head. "Hm ... I wonder what Vince had planned for her tomorrow? Cause if he has nothing, then Shane O Mac will just have to step in!" 

_____________________________________________________________ 

So, how'd you like it? Please R&R! Don't flame cause I don't like reading them. I finally got back into my groove! HAHA!" 

Cya! ^_^ 


	9. Shopping Mall Mayhem!

30 Days and 30 Nights 

****

**Chapter 9: **SHOPPING MALL MAYHEM! 

****

**Author's Note: **The wrestlers will be going out a little more; rather than stay in all day so enjoy! 

Stephanie: How can anyone enjoy this! Especially at my expense! 

SHUT UP STEPHANIE! Anyway, enjoy! 

****

**Disclaimer:** I don't and never will own anyone in this fic! *sigh* OH! Except the police and children and other people you don't know! HAHAHA! 

****

**Author:** hypr-angl 

_____________________________________________________________ 

****

**Day 9-**

****

****Stephanie waited outside the house, waiting for her brother to pop his ugly head in and tell her the bad news. Then, as expected, a limo pulled up. 

"Get out here, Shane!" 

"HEY STEPH!" said an anonymous voice in the limo. 

"What the f-"  


"How's it going Steph?!" 

"BISCHOFF!" she growled menacingly. 

"Awww! Is Stephy gonna throw a fit?!" Bischoff teased, rolling down his window to see the look on her face. 

"What do you want?" she asked. 

"Well, Steph! I'm here to tell you what you won!" he grinned. "Cause poor, poor Shaney is sick." 

Stephanie sighed and shook her head. "Just tell me what the hell my father has planned! It can't be worse then yesterday!" she shouted, getting impatient and annoyed at Bischoff's huge cheesy smile. 

"Oh I have to disagree with you there!" he said, looking up at Stephanie's face. "In fact, it's much worse then yesterday." 

Stephanie was about to scream her head off but kept her cool. She didn't want to look like some panic stricken psycho lady in front of Bischoff. Then he would have another excuse to tease her. "Um ... so?!" 

"Yeah?" he said calmly. "By the way, I can see the veins on your forehead." 

Stephanie cracked and dragged Bischoff out of his car. She grabbed him by the collar and started screaming. 

****

****"WHAT IS IT, BISCHOFF?! WHAT IS SO BAD THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO TELL ME?!" 

"I ... don't know what you're talking about," he said with a grin. 

"You mean you made me waste my time, dragging your sorry ass out of your limo!" 

"You could say that," he said, staying as cool and collected as he could. He unravelled Steph's fingers from his collar and got back in his limo. "You really want to know what's happening today?" he asked. 

"YES!" she screamed. 

"Ok!" he simply replied. "Vince wants you guys to go to ..." 

"WHAT?!" 

"The mall!" he said plainly. "Oh, and any damage done will be paid for by you!" 

Bischoff laughed and drove away leaving Stephanie once again speechless. 

~*~ 

"OH MY GOD!" squealed the girls.****

****

****"How can you be happy?!" Steph exclaimed while she ripped her hair out. 

"Heelllllooooooo!" Stacey said. 

"Mall, money, shopping bags!" Trish stated. 

"What more could a girl ask for!?" Lita added. 

  
"Yeah! You're only peeved because you have to pay for any damages done by the guys," Torrie uttered. 

"Who says the guys are the only ones that are going to damage anything?" Stacey asked, motioning to Jazz. 

"You don't get it!" Steph whined. 

"No, we don't," they replied. 

****

****"Do you know how much damage they caused at the zoo?!" 

"Um ... a lot?" Molly answered. 

"You weren't even there!" Steph yelled. 

"I was so! Jeez! And here I was thinking the Hurricane had a bad memory." 

"Steph, calm down!" Lita said. "Just think of this as an opportunity to get more cosmetics, clothes and possibly a boyfriend!"  


"You still on about that?!" Stacey sighed. 

"If I was it wouldn't matter," she said. 

"You didn't answer the question." 

"Oh ... well then yes. I am still on about it!" Lita huffed. 

"Yeah, it's been a long time since I've had a boyfriend," Trish stated. 

"Aren't you with Buh-Buh?" Molly asked. 

"Oh yeah! I mean ... NO! We're just good friends," she smiled. 

  
"That's what I said and now look where I am!" Lita pointed out. 

"Boys! How can you think of boys at a time like this?!" Steph shouted. 

"Easily!" they all replied. 

~*~ 

So Steph gathered all the other wrestlers to break the news. 

"OK! Listen up or die!" she screamed. 

"Whoa! Dude, she made that sound a little ... too threatening," Rob stated. 

"SHUT UP! My stupid father wants us to have more _FUN _like yesterday so he ordered us to go to-" 

"The Park!" 

"No, Jeff! We are never going there! Especially with you!" 

"London Drugs!" 

"Why would you want to go there?" 

"..." 

"I'll speak for Kane, girl! He wants to go to get some pills the Doctor prescribed him!" 

"What for?" 

"That ain't none of your business!" 

"Right ... Anyway-" 

"The Laundromat!" 

"SHUT UP JERI- WHAT?!" 

"Kurt spilt milk on the King's pants!" 

"HEY!" 

"Are you sure you didn't _wet _your pants?" 

"No way, the King of the World never lies! It was definitely Kurt!" 

"No I di-" 

"SHUT UP ALL OF YOU!" Stephanie screeched. 

"The Rock hopes you don't get your panties in a bunch!" 

"I SAID SHUT UP! WE'RE GOING TO THE MALL!" 

There wasn't a sound for miles! Or metres, whatever! Everyone was shocked at the fact that Steph was actually taking them to the mall. 

"Jeff, you took your pills today, right?" Edge asked. 

"What pills?" 

"Oh yeah, you don't have any" he groaned. 

"DUDE! That's ... weird," Rob exclaimed. 

"I can not dig that!" 

"Calm down Booker!" Goldust uttered. 

Stephanie glared at each and everyone one of them. As if inspecting them for a crime they hadn't committed. "WELL! GO!" she shouted. 

~*~ 

"Well girls!" Trish squealed. "Time to shop like we've never shopped before!" 

"WAIT!" Spike shouted. 

"WHAT IS IT NOW!" Steph asked. 

"What about Rhyno? He's still dizzy from taking that blow yesterday!" 

"SO! Just carry him or something!" Stephanie and the other girls ran off to some other store leaving all the guys behind. 

~*~ 

"Spike, what are you doing?" Buh-Buh asked. 

"Yeah! WAAZZZZZUUUPPPPPP wit dat!" D-Von shouted. 

"I knew letting Hurricane stay with us was a bad idea!" Buh-Buh sighed. "Anyway, Spike?" 

"He's ... HEAVY!" Spike squeaked as he started walking on his knees with Rhyno on his back. 

"Here! Let me help," Buh-Buh said, lifting Rhyno right off Spike's back. 

"Thanks bro, so where are we going first?" he asked. 

"Hm ... first we have to get rid of our heavy load," Buh-Buh said, pointing to Rhyno. 

  
"How?" 

Buh-Buh spotted one of those food sample table things and quickly put Rhyno through it. 

"OK! Now we can do whatever we want!" he grinned. 

"Won't Rhyno be mad when he comes to?" 

"Spike, you have much to learn." 

~*~ 

"OH MY GOD!" Lita said, tapping Trish on the shoulder. 

"What?" 

"Look at the cute blonde in the back!" she squealed. 

"The check out guy?" 

Lita drooled slightly while Trish held her up. 

"You have weird taste in guys," she commented. "Now I happen to know for a fact that he's a geek and a golf nut!" 

"What are you talking about?!" Lita asked. 

"Hello! No one dressed in a pink shirt and checkered pants can be considered as one of the social norms. "Watch!" Trish pointed out. 

The guy looked around to make sure no one was watching, then he quickly pulled out a Golf magazine from his back pocket and began to read rapidly. 

"I see!" Lita uttered. 

"Look at him!" Trish exclaimed, pointing at a hot guy walking casually towards them. 

"Ahh! Ohhh! Wha!" Trish stuttered. 

He stopped and winked at her and she fainted on the spot. 

"Um ... Trish?" Lita said. 

"Whoa!" she said, still dizzy. 

"OK! Seriously, he wasn't that good looking!" 

"Are you kidding me!" 

"No. Look behind you," Lita pointed. 

  
Trish swivelled her head around and saw the Checkout guy waving at him with one hand on his mouth. 

"DANIEL! There you are! I was like, totally looking for you!" 

"Oh, Mike! You're embarrassing me! ::giggles::" 

Trish and Lita stared at each other in horror. Then they turned around and ran quickly to the closest store they could find. 

"That was ... disturbing!" Lita said. 

"Hm ... maybe the blonde was related to Billy and Chuck." Trish commented. 

"HEY GIRLS!" 

"Billy ... Chuck! How, uh ... nice!" they said as they forced their faces to smile.  


~*~ 

"PET STORE!" Jeff shouted running around like a little kid in a candy store. 

"Be careful Jeff. You might scare the animals and give them heart contusions!" Rob uttered. 

  
Edge, being the only sane one, grabbed Jeff and Rob by the arms and pulled them out. 

"Listen up! If you guys go in there _you're_ going to have to _behave_!"  


"You sound like my mom!" Rob said. 

"And my brother ... and my mom!" Jeff added. 

"Just behave!" Edge hissed. 

So the three walked slowly into the pet shop and looked around _QUIETLY!_

"I see ..." Jeff murmured to himself. "_This is the least amount of fun I've had in my life! It's not like I'm going to kill anything! Oh, fishies!" _he thought as he reached his hand into the aquarium and pulled out a fat goldfish. "Whoa! You need to go on a diet little guy." Then he put the fish in his water bottle that he just happened to have with him. 

"All right ..." Rob grumbled. _"Stupid Edge! Tell me what to do, will he! Thinks I'm incompetent does he! Talk to myself, will I!" _Rob thought. He walked over to window with a puppy in it. It was lying down apart from the other puppies, looking really sad. "You know what it's like to be out casted by everyone, right?!" 

The puppy replied by whimpering. 

"I thought so!" 

~*~ 

"Hm ... what is it Kane?" Undertaker grumbled. 

"Pills," Kane grunted back. 

"Oh, yeah. Here," Undertaker handed Kane his antidepressants. 

"Happy now?" 

Kane glared at his brother. 

"I meant about having the pills!" 

Suddenly, Undertaker spotted something out of the corner of his eye again. He kept walking slowly then turned around and grabbed the person's throat. 

"Hm ... Hurricane," he grinned. 

"Could ... you ... let ... go!" he squeaked. 

Taker dropped Hurricane on the floor. "What do you want, boy?" he demanded. 

"Oh!" he said rubbing his neck. "I was wondering ... if you had seen any ... crimes?" he asked. 

"If I did, you wouldn't be able to do anything," he snorted. 

"I resent that! Remember, I have super powers!" 

"How could I forget," Taker rolled his eyes. "So?" 

"Good! Just doing my job!" Hurricane grinned, then made a swooshing noise and ran away. 

"Creep!" Taker muttered. 

Taker and Kane walked up to the cashiers to buy a hammer. The guy took one look at them and shrieked. 

"OK, OK! Take it!" he shouted as he grabbed the money out of the register and handed it to them. 

"I don't -" 

"Have no fear! The Hurricane's here!" The Hurricane jumped up on Taker's back and covered his eyes. 

"Get off Hurri-Dork!" he growled. 

The Hurricane kept a firm grip on Taker's head. Taker stumbled around until he fell through the door. The alarm went off because he had not paid for his hammer yet. 

Kane sighed and grabbed Hurricane's cape. Hurricane twisted and turned trying to break free. 

"CRAP! subdued again!" he cursed. 

Just then, a bunch of security guards came rushing out and pointed their guns at Taker and Kane. 

"FREEZE! YOU'RE UNDER ARREST!" 

~*~ 

"WHAT?!" 

"Sir, You just need to -" 

"WHAT?!" 

"Please! I could get fi -" 

"WHAT?!" 

All you -" 

"WHAT?!" 

Austin was driving the poor boy crazy while he was trying to tell him the price of the beer. Meanwhile, Jericho was looking at thousands of different kinds of mirrors. Kurt was purchasing four jugs of milk and the Rock was getting his sun glasses fixed. 

"Finally! The Rock has come back to ... the Mall!" he bellowed. 

"Um sir -" 

"The Rock is not done! So shut your mouth or the Rock will have to shine his boot up real nice, turn it sideways, and stick it straight up your CANDY ASS!" 

"Please sir. There are little kids here!" the checkout boy whispered. 

A lady with her kid stared at The Rock in horror for using such language. 

"Oh, I mean, and stick it straight up your CANDY BOTTOM!" 

"Right ..." 

"Aren't I gorgeous?!" Jericho declared, while combing his blonde hair. "Could you get any better?" 

"Yeah! I've seen a nicer looking mug on Kurt's ass! I mean, Tushie!" The Rock uttered remembering the little kids. 

"No one asked you ... BUTTCLOWN!" Jericho retorted. 

"Oh it's true! It's darn true!" 

"SHUT UP!" 

"WHAT?!" 

  
"PLEASE! I JUST NEED YOU TO -" 

"WHAT?!" 

The poor checkout boy was weeping in his hands because he couldn't complete a sentence without Austin going _'WHAT?!'_ every time. 

Austin shrugged and paid the guy the money. 

"Jeez, no need to cry about it?!" 

~*~ 

"ROB! Get over here!" Edge shouted. 

"Yes, Ma'am." 

"JEFF!" Egde yelled. 

"So they really have every kind of fish?" Jeff said, totally ignoring Edge's cry. 

"JEFF!"  


"Huh?!" 

"Why did you put that poor fish in your ... water bottle?" 

"DUDE!" 

"SHUT UP!" 

"OH MY GOD!" the owner screamed when she saw Jeff. 

"Yeah, I am irresistible, aren't I?!" Jeff nodded. 

"NO! THE FISH!" the lady screamed. 

"Huh? Oh this thing!" Jeff pointed to the fish. "Don't worry, I'll put it back," he said calmly. 

Jeff twisted the top off his water bottle and emptied the fish on to his hand. Then he put it in the nearest fish tank. 

"There, Egde. See! I didn't kill anything! HA!" he laughed. 

"GET IT OUT!" she screamed. 

"OK! I'll leave!" Jeff looked at the fish tank and realized what he did. He left the fish in the piranha tank filled with ... what else, piranhas. 

"Save it!" 

"Yeah, yeah!" Jeff said dryly. 

Edge was pulling his hair out and gritting his teeth. 

"What?! No sweat, Edge!" he reassured Edge that he wasn't going to kill anything else. He reached his hand into the tank and searched around for the fat goldfish. "What does a Goldfish feel like?" 

"Well, it doesn't bite," Rob snickered. 

"Well then that's not it!" Jeff said, moving his hand around the tank. 

"Um ... doesn't that hurt?" Edge asked worriedly. 

"What hurt?" 

  
"You putting your hand in there." 

"Where?" 

"The piranha tank." 

"The what tank?!" 

"Piranha!" 

"What about them? Oh, wait! I think got it! It's small, fat and fish-like!" Jeff withdrew his arm to find he grabbed a rock. "Oh!" 

The store owner took one look at Jeff's arm and fainted. 

"NOW LOOK AT WHAT YOU'VE DONE!" Egde shouted. 

Jeff shrugged and turned to Rob. "Wanna help?" 

"SURE!" Rob said eagerly. 

So Jeff and Rob were digging around for the poor fat goldfish in the piranha tank. Then Jeff withdrew his hand again and found it. Alive and ... not doing too good, although neither was his arm. 

He walked over and placed the fish with his other little ... 'friends'. 

"DUDE! That was totally cool!" Of course everything is when you're (Due to the piranhas, he was only able to lift up one arm. Not two!) R ... V ... D!" 

"Can we please go now!" Edge pleaded. "And will you guys get those checked!" 

"I can't feel my left arm?" Jeff proclaimed. 

"Me neither?" Rob noticed. "It's like ... dead!" 

Edge grabbed their bad arms and dragged them out of the pet shop. 

"DUDE! This is totally cool!" 

"Yeah! I can't feel Edge's grip on my arm!" 

Edge seized the opportunity to dig his nails into their flesh. EW! 

~*~ 

Everyone was lined up outside so Steph could count them and make sure everyone was there. 

"RAVEN! You can't bring that crow with you! ... How did you get it?" she asked looking at the crow which was actually pretty calm. 

"Well, when the store says 'EVERY BIRD' it means every bird!" Raven said. 

"Yeah, well get rid of it!" 

"Fine! Fly my pretty, FLY!" 

"Right ... Anyway, OH MY GOD!"  


"Dude, we seem to be hearing that a lot?" Rob stated. 

  
"Jeff ... Rob! What happened to your arms?!" Stephanie panicked. Both guys were on Raw! If Bischoff found out, he'd kill her! 

"Oh, Jeff put this fat Goldfish in his water bottle. Then the store owner said to put it back so he did ... in the piranha tank," Edge uttered. "So he fished it out with his hand with the help of Rob and we all lived happily ever after. 

"Well, hide it! It's hideous!" Steph said in disgust. 

"Right then!" they both replied. 

They went to the bathroom and wrapped toilet paper around their arms. 

"It's not an improvement but it will do," Stephanie sighed. Then she turned around to see the Undertaker and Kane being dragged into a police car. "WHOA, WHOA! What exactly do you think you're doing with them?" 

"We arrested them," the officer replied. "For shoplifting and resisting arrest." 

"Resisting arrest?" 

"Actually we couldn't fit the cuffs around their wrists." 

Taker walked up to the guard and growled at him. The guard cowered away, back into his car with the others. 

"Steph, it was the Hurricane's fault! Actually it was the checkout boys, but there's not much of a difference." 

"WHAT! Fine, I'll have a word with the officers!" Stephanie said. 

Then Kane walked up with the guards close behind him. 

"You might want this," he grunted, handing her a tranquillizer and the Hurricane. "They shot him while I was holding him in mid air." 

"Oh ... right," Stephanie said, trying not to look freaked out. "Hehe ... heh ... I'll talk to them. 

After Stephanie talked to them she went back to the wrestlers and Divas. 

"Well, that was easy!" she grinned. 

"You paid them," they all said. 

"I paid them," she scowled. 

~*~ 

"So Steph, you enjoyed yourself?" Shane teased. 

She glared at him as hard as she could. 

"That's a no." 

"And where have you been all day?" Stephanie asked. 

"Well, I've been running away from this psycho fan. I haven't had anything to drink in fourteen hours!" he grumbled. 

  
"Why?" Stephanie asked in amusement. 

"This girl is trying to slip me either poison or a love potion. Either way, it's bad!" he said. "It was the fan from two or three chapters ago. Artic something or other. 

"ArticFox400? I see!" Steph snickered. 

"Well, I hope you enjoy tomorrow!" Shane exclaimed. 

"WHY! What's going on tomorrow?!" Steph asked. 

"Oh, nothing! Nothing at all!" he replied. 

"OH! Good!" 

"I was joking!" 

"Hehe ... I knew that!" 

"I'm sure you did!" he uttered as he got into his limo and drove off. 

"Tomorrow can't be worse than today ... can it?" 

_____________________________________________________________ 

I hoped you liked it! (I say that a lot) Please R&R! It would be very appreciated. Of course don't flame! Me no like flames! JEEZ! I hope I can get through thirty chapters! Well, twenty-one now. Hopefully tomorrow will be worse than today for Stephanie. MWAHAHAHAHA! (I'm high on something!) 

Ya Watevr! ^_^ 

sorry, bored, very! 


	10. Life's a Breeze Or so we think!

30 Days and 30 Nights 

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**Chapter 10: **LIFE'S A BREEZE (Or so we think!) 

****

**Author's Note:** Sorry I haven't updated for so long but I had so much homework! I'll try to update as soon as I can. (which is a long time from now) ENJOY! 

****

**Author:** hypr-angl 

_____________________________________________________________ 

****

**Day 10-**

****

****"ARRRRGGHHHH! I've only been here for ten days! TEN DAYS! And already I'm going crazy!" Stephanie shrieked. 

"So? I've been hanging around you for ten minutes, girl, and I'm going crazy!" Taker commented. 

"I thought you were crazy before you got here?" Jericho pointed out. 

  
Stephanie mumbled something to herself that she didn't want to share with everyone else. 

"What's that, Steph?" Jericho asked. "Is someone gonna crack?" he grinned. 

"YES! OK?! I AM GOING TO CRACK!" she screamed. 

"Jeez! It was just a question!" Jericho said. 

Stephanie heard the doorbell and slowly strutted towards it. 

"_BISCHOFF!_" she thought. She opened the door to find only a letter. 

_Your face is red._

_The sky is blue._

_You're not going to one place today ..._

_BUT TWO!_

__

_See ya, Steph!_

__

__Stephanie crumbled the paper in her hand. He wasn't a poet, but the message was clear. TWO events?! What was he thinking! 

"DUDE! Steph, what did it say?" Rob asked. 

Stephanie opened the paper back up and read the last line of the letter. 

_PS. Meet me at the skate pond! I hope they know how to ice skate!_

__

__She gasped. He wouldn't! He couldn't! "HOW DARE HE!" she shrieked. 

"Man, Americans have bad tempers!" Test noticed. 

"Unlike us Canadians!" Lance added. 

"YEAH! We're perfect in every way!" Christian boasted. 

Taker gave them an evil glare which made them all recoil. "That's better! Now Steph, what's with all the screaming and shouting?" he asked. 

"Get your skates!" she uttered slowly with a dark creepy look on her face. 

Everyone backed away from her and head towards their rooms. 

~*~ 

"The Rock does not want to skate!" 

"What's the matter, Rocky?" Jericho taunted. "Have you forgotten how?" 

The Rock grabbed Jericho's hair and pulled him in. "Never call the Great One ROCKY!" he stated. 

"Yeah, whatever!" Jericho replied dryly. 

"I think it will be fun!" Kurt announced. 

"You count cows instead of sheep at night- WHAT!" Austin commented. "Your opinion don't count in a conversation like this- WHAT!" 

"MEANIE! Besides, I really think this will help us bond and become one!" 

"Become one?" The Rock said. "What kind of talk is that jabroni?" 

"I just think -" 

"It doesn't matter what you think you bald bonding freak!" he shouted. "The Rock isn't going and that's final! Anyway, who goes skating in the winter?!" 

"Lots of people do!" Kurt yelled back. 

"SHUT UP, JABRONI! The Rock didn't ask you to speak back!" 

Kurt coward in the corner, whimpering like a little sick dog. 

"Stop being an ass clown!" Jericho hollered. 

"You people are so cruel to me!" Kurt blubbered. 

The Rock, Chris Jericho and Austin had to drag the blubbering idiot downstairs and shove him in the van before he started wetting his pants again. 

~*~ 

"Um ... Steph?" Booker asked. 

"Yes?" 

"This is a ... public skating pond," he stated nervously. 

"Yeah! Whaz up wit dat?" Hurricane uttered. 

"I ... I don't know!" Steph stuttered. "If Bischoff was going to torture me, he could at least do it without the fans!" 

"Is there such a thing as a private skating pond?" Jeff asked. 

"I don't care! What I want to know is if we really _HAVE _to skate," Taker said. 

  
"Well, technically no but -" 

"I can answer that!" said an all too familiar voice. 

"DADDY!" Stephanie shrieked. 

Vince was standing there with bodyguards all around him like a cage. You can't really blame him. If you were stuck in a house with Steph you would want some revenge too. 

"Now I can't stay long but I can definitely answer your question," he said. 

"WHY AM I HERE! DON'T YOU LOVE ME!" whined Steph. 

"Um ... on a different matter, yes! You must skate. It's all part of the fun and excitement and -" 

"BONDING!" Kurt blurted. 

"Well, sort of but I don't want too much bonding," Vince declared. 

  
"Bonding is good for you!" Kurt explained. "So is milk and gold medals!" 

"Just as long as you aren't reminded of them every damn minute!" Taker snarled. 

"Yes, yes! Now carry on people! We have a busy day ahead of us!" 

Vince turned around and hastily ran into his lime so the wrestlers didn't have a chance to threaten or probably beat him into a bloody pulp. 

~*~ 

"I DON'T KNOW HOW TO SKATE!" Christian complained, clutching a sign with all his might. 

"You're a Canadian!" Test said. "Show some Canadian dignity!" 

"Yeah, you're embarrassing us!" Lance hissed. 

Christian started jumping up and down, ranting about not being able to skate because of some 'incident' with Edge when he was younger. 

Suddenly, (actually it should have been coincidental) the Anti-Americans heard a crack from below Christian's feet. 

Lance and Test slowly backed away, keeping their eyes on the ice at all times. 

"Y-You guys aren't g-going to leave me, are you!" he whimpered. 

"Um ..." Test looked at Lance with that 'what do I say?' look. 

Lance averted his eyes and cried "Look! A birdie!" he shouted, skating across the pond rapidly. 

"TEST!" Christian squeaked. 

"Oh, you ... uh ... I - I need a hair cut!" he claimed. 

"W-Wait for me!" Christian cried. Christian very slowly slid across the ice. _"I'm gonna make! I'm gonna make it! I'm -" _And the next thing he new, he was submerged beneath the ice. 

"NOOOOOOOOOO!" he gurgled. Then, to his relief, he saw a hand reach out for his. _"YES! I'M NOT GOING TO DIE!"_

Christian's celebration was short lived, for there in front of him, was his older brother, Edge. 

"NOT YOU!" he screamed. 

"Hey! I'm saving your life!" Edge declared. "You should at least be thankful!" 

"THANKFUL?! I'd rather freeze to death then have you touch my arm!" Christian replied. 

"Fine with me!" Edge huffed as he let go of his brother's arm. 

"NOOOOOOOOOO!" 

"Serves you right!" Edge snorted. 

"Dude! Aren't you going to save him?" Rob asked. 

"Yeah! Sure, Matt can be a pain but I don't really want him to die ... I think," Jeff added. 

Edge sighed. "You guys are right." 

"REALLY?!" they asked simultaneously. 

"NO! I'm only going to help him because mom would have a fit if she knew I let my brother die!" 

Edge got down on his stomach (like any intelligent person would do) and reached in. 

Christian sputtered out some water and started yelling at Edge. 

  
"Pull harder!" 

"Do you realize how heavy you are?!" 

  
"You lift up guys all the time!" 

"Not on my stomach!" 

"THEN GET OFF YOUR STOMACH!" 

"FINE!"  


"FINE!"  


Then Edge, getting caught up in the yelling, did the stupidest thing ever. He stood up. 

"AAAHHHHHHHH!" he cried as he was pulled in, making the hole in the ice even bigger. 

"DUDE!" 

"NO WAY!" 

Jeff and Rob (copying Edge) got down and reached for their hands. 

It took a little while for them to drag Edge and Christian out since they were splashing each other in the faces. 

"Dude, you guys need to chill!" 

"Even I'm not that Xtreme!" 

  
"Th - This totally r - reeks of stinkosit-ty!" Edge commented. 

"I - It was all y - your fault! Christian sputtered. 

"Will you two shut up!" Stephanie yelled. 

"Um ... excuse me?" said a girl behind her. 

"WHAT?!" 

"WHAT?!" 

"SHUT UP AUSTIN! I'M TRYING TO HAVE A CONVERSATION!" 

Um ... could I get a photo of the guys that saved the other guys?" 

"SURE! DO WHATEVER YOU WANT!" 

"Cool!" she turned to Rob and Jeff and just as she was about to click her camera she screamed. "OH MY GOD!" 

"Uh oh!" 

"IT'S THEM!" she shrieked. "GIRLS, IT'S THEM!" 

Jeff and Rob heard nothing. Then they listen closely. Hundreds of footsteps could be heard in the distance. 

"FANS!" Rob and Jeff shouted. 

"WAIT!" Jeff said. 

"WHAT, DUDE?! We have to run - I mean skate!" 

"Uh ... yeah. I don't know how," Jeff blushed. 

"Seriously?" Rob asked. "I thought you were the biggest daredevil in the WWE?" 

"HEY! I'm better off my feet, not on my feet!" 

While they were arguing, the sounds of fans were getting louder. Things like "I LOVE YOU!" and "WILL YOU MARRY ME!" could be heard. 

  
"AAHHHHHHH!" 

They skated as hard as they could, trying to escape. The fans had already made their way on to the ice without skates (a lot of falling). 

"Hey! I CAN SKATE!" Jeff realized. "I REALLY CAN - OOF!" He crashed right into a huge pile of snow, head first. "HELP! I'M STUCK!" 

"They're gaining!" Rob panicked. 

The crazed fans grabbed Jeff out of the snow and scooped Rob off his feet and carried them both off somewhere. 

~*~ 

Everyone was having a great time except for Steph, Edge, Christian, RVD and Jeff. 

"Hey sugar pie! Why don't you show me some of your fancy moves?" Jamie Noble asked. (Hey! They're not making out!) 

"Sure!" she agreed. Nidia had no skating abilities what so ever. Instead she just did screwed up turns and really crappy jumps, I mean hops. She wasn't really concentrating when she crashed into all the other Divas. 

"OW!" 

"WHAT THE -" 

"GET OFF!" 

Jamie helped only Nidia up from the tangle of women. Fortunately, Trish and Lita tackled her into the snow. After they beat her up, they all went back to being 'normal' some what. 

"Hey, where's Jazz?" Torrie enquired. 

"UGH! Don't ask!" Stacey cried, placing her hands on her hips. 

"There she I - EW!" Molly exclaimed. 

  
Jazz was supposedly 'flirting' with Kevin Nash in the corner on the snow. You could hear Jazz giggling (or what they thought was giggling) along with flapping her eyelashes up and down. 

"_That _is repulsive!" Lita uttered. 

"That's just ... I mean, it's just -" 

"Wrong!" Molly finished. 

"That's the word I was looking for!" Trish said. 

"Didn't Kevin pull a leg muscle or something?" Stacey asked. 

  
"NO DUH! That's why he's not skating. He's, he's ... he's twirling his hair?" Lita said, shocked. 

"Twirling what?" the other girls stared in horror at Kevin as he also giggled and twirled his hair. 

"OH MY -"  


"Shhhhh!" 

"So who breaks the news to Jazz?" 

Everyone pointed to Steph. 

"WHY ME?" 

"Because you are the General Manager of Smackdown!" they replied. 

Stephanie mumbled something as she glided towards them. 

"Hey Jazz!" she said cheerfully. _"What am I doing!"_

__

__"Yes?" she asked dreamily. 

"OH GOD!" Steph screamed as she ran back to the others. 

Jazz shrugged her shoulder. "You were saying, Kevy?" 

~*~ 

"Booker, please stop trying to do the spin -a -roonie on the ice! It's just not possible!" Goldust pleaded. 

"Tell me you did not just say that?!"  


"I did?" 

"Yo man! These people paid to see the spin -a -roonie and that's what I'm going to give them!" 

"These people didn't really pay anything," Goldust said. 

"Dat's not the point man! I'm gonna keep trying till I get it! So back off!" 

"Yeah, Goldfreak!" 

"Shut up Jericho! And it's Goldust!" 

"Awww! Sticking up for your little buddy are we Booker?" Jericho teased. "So I see we're trying to do the 'spin -a -roonie' on the ice!" he laughed. 

"I gotta give the people what they want," Booker said. 

"Yeah, sure Booker!" Jericho rolled his eyes. "These people want to see their rightful king!" 

"Are you still on that?" 

"And why shouldn't I? Listen up, Book! There's a little saying 'RAW IS JERICHO!' and it's usually followed by 'JERICHO IS THE KING OF THE WORLD! 

"Whatev -" 

So if you don't mind, why don't you go spin on your head. Maybe if you look really hard in the ice, you can see your reflection. Then maybe you'll know what I mean when I say ASSCLOWN!" 

Then while Jericho finished his speech, Goldust delivered a low blow to Jericho which left him rolling around on the ice holding his crotch area. 

"Mommy!" he squeaked. 

"Serves you right, man! Now can you dig it?! ... SUUCKAAAAAAAAA!" 

~*~ 

"PEOPLE, PEOPLE! It's time to go to the ... next thing," Stephanie sighed. 

  
"A second thing?" they all asked. 

"Yes, yes. The ... park." 

"YES!" Jeff cheered. "I TOLD YOU WE WERE GOING!"  


'Where's Rob?" Edge asked. 

"Um ... somewhere," Jeff stated. "Anyway, he's not really important right now. The most important thing right now is the park! P-A-R-K!" 

"Right ..." 

"Now we only have a short time people! We spent practically the whole day doing nothing here!" Stephanie announced. 

~*~ 

"WHOOO!" 

"THE PARK! *sniff* Matt never took me here!" 

"Right, Jeff. You think about that," Edge commented. 

Stephanie looked at her watch. 8:00 pm! She still needed to shower and ... do something else important! 

"OK! We have to go now!" she declared. 

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" 

"Calm down, Jeff. It's seriously not the end of the world!" Egde sighed. 

"I thought you were cold?" 

"From what?" 

"Falling in the ice." 

"Oh yeah!" 

"What?" 

"Thanks for reminding me!" 

"About what?" 

"About falling in the ice." 

"The ice?" 

"YEAH!" 

"Uh huh?!" 

"I refuse to carry on this conversation!" 

"What conversation?" 

"AAAGHHHHHHHH!" Edge screamed, running into the van. 

"Dude, chill." 

"ROB! Where were you, buddy?" Jeff asked. 

  
"Oh, you know. Getting run over, saying it was cool. The usual." 

"COOL!" 

"That's what I said," Rob uttered. 

~*~  


"Jericho, are you sure you'll be all right in your ... *looks down* condition?" 

"Yeah, yeah! The King can get to his room in one piece!" 

"I'm sure you can!" 

"Exactly, now move!" Jericho pushed Steph out of the way and slowly headed up the stairs. 

When he reached the top, he saw Booker standing there. 

"What do you want ASSCLOWN?! What's the matter? Hit your head one too many times?!" he snickered. 

Booker didn't say anything, instead he gave Jericho a small push down the stairs. 

"AAAAAHHHHHHHHHH! OW, MY CROTCH! NOT AGAIN!" he cried. 

Stephanie trotted upstairs, making sure to step on Jericho on the way up. 

"No one pushes a McMahon!" she scoffed. 

"This is not a good day for me!" he whimpered. 

It took a while for Jericho to get back up but eventually he did and we all lived happily ever after ... except for them. 

_____________________________________________________________ 

OK! Once again I rushed through this. If it's bad don't flame. If it's all right then review. PLEASE R&R! Um ... that's pretty much it! OH! And a big hug to all those that suffered from the 9/11 tragedy. 

Peace Out! ^_^ 

PS. Special Thanx to angel-eyes for helping me with a lot of my chapys! Read some of her work if you want! 


	11. Cannibalism?

30 Days and 30 Nights 

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**Chapter 11: **Ever Heard of Cannibalism? Well, Kurt Finds Out First Hand! 

****

**Author's Note:** Halo again! First I would like to say thanx to all my faithful reviewers! Secondly, well I haven't thought of that yet but it'll come to me later. ENJOY! 

****

**Author:** hypr-angl 

_____________________________________________________________ 

****

**Day 11-**

The weather outside was horrible. First of all, there was a snow storm that was heading their way. Secondly Stephanie was totally freaking out and last, the T.V. was on the fritz. Several wrestlers were trying to warm up by the fire. 

"This totally reeks of stinkosity!" Edge shivered. 

"Dude, stop saying that! You're giving me the willies!" Rob said. 

"Don't you usually say it's cool?" Jeff asked. 

"Yeah but ... not in this case." 

"What's so different?" 

"Um ... I like pie!" 

"That's The Rock's line, jabroni!" 

"So? Other people can like pie too!" Heyman uttered. 

"It's easy to tell you do," The Rock snickered as he stared at Heyman's large gut. 

"Uh ... SHUT UP!" Brock answered since Heyman was so offended. 

"If you happen to know, I'm trying to lose weight!" he whimpered, while he wiped away a stray tear. 

"Really, are you on the 'Seafood' diet?" Jeff laughed. 

"Well, yeah!" Heyman replied. 

"Oh ... good for you," Jeff stated, obviously not expecting that. 

"D - DUDE! TURN THE HEAT UP!" Rob cried. 

"E - say, man! It is all the way up!" Eddie Guerrero yelled back. 

"LET ME SEE, ASSCLOWN!" Jericho huffed as he pushed Rikishi aside. 

"Hey, watch it! Or do you want a piece of the kish?!" Rikishi said. 

"NO! I don't want a 'piece of the kish!" Jericho mimicked. 

"Are you mocking me?" 

"NO DUH!" Jericho shouted. "I think you've rubbed your ass against one too many faces." 

Out of the blue, Brock and his large mouthed bass for an agent, came waddling into the scene. 

"Well, well, well!" Heyman uttered. 

"What do you want, Heyman?" Chris Benoit asked. 

"Who says I want anything?" Heyman said, trying to look innocent. "OK! I lied. Um ... do any of you people happen to now where the ladies are?" he asked with a big grin plastered on his ugly mug. 

"Dude, what makes you think we'll tell you?" Rob laughed. 

"You better not be planning to do anything to Lita!" Matt yelled. 

"Me?" Heyman asked. "Now why would _I _do anything to harm anyone? I simply thought it was cold and wanted to know if any of the beautiful Divas wanted to get warmed up with me." 

"You're sick. Jeff stated. "Like we would really make the girls go through that kind of excruitiating punishment." 

"Now, now people. If you don't tell me, then I'll have to have Brock um ... persuade you people into telling me." Heyman said, pointing to the over grown ape behind him. 

Brock simply smiled and grunted something. 

"Um, Heyman? Now we would _hate _to burst your bubble but there's almost ten of us here and that's not including you." Edge pointed out. 

"Yeah! Anyway, if he managed to beat half of us up, the other half would beat the crap out of you as usual. Then we'd just dispose of Brocky after that," Jeff pointed out. 

Heyman was at a loss for words as he glanced around the room. There was The Rock, Eddie Guerrero, Chris Benoit, Chris Jericho, Jeff Hardy, Edge, RVD, and Rikishi. If you add Brock and Heyman, then you get ten. 

"I ... uh ... C'MON GUYS!" he cried. "Just give me a hint!" 

"NO!" 

"PLEASE! I NEED COMPANY!" he begged. 

Everyone eventually got tired of Heyman's useless whining and totally tuned him out. Soon, almost everyone was downstairs by the fire place in there PJ's again. 

"You know Kurt, The Rock is beginning to like your cow pyjamas." 

"REALLY, ROCKY?!" 

"No way in blue hell! The Rock just thinks they're better then that stupid candy-cane jump suit you wear!" (you know what I mean people. That stupid striped thing he wears a lot on Smackdown. Very ick!) 

"Yeah! Way better then that stupid candy-cane thing!" Triple H uttered. 

"What are you doing here?" hypr-angl (that's me!) asked. 

  
"I, uh ... would you believe I came out of nowhere?" 

"SHOO!" hypr-angl shouted. "You must be a virus in my computer or something." So, using her awesome author powers, hypr-angl snapped her fingers and POOF! Trips was gone. "I don't want someone that beats up their best friend for no reason here!" *hypr-angl leaves somehow* 

"That was ... COOL!" Rob exclaimed. "Of course -" 

"HEY LOOK!" Kurt said, jumping up and down in complete panic. 

Everyone turned their heads towards the windows that he was pointing at. 

They all gasped as they stared blankly at the windows. What was so astonishing you ask? Or you might have just said ,"Oh my god! It's so obvious what's happening outside!" Either way, it doesn't matter. I'm still going to explain it. 

  
Stephanie heard all the racket and ran downstairs, thinking Shane or Bischoff might have bulldozed down half the wall. Actually, the possibility that they might be there gave her the shivers. Or was it just the wind? Wait, WHAT WIND?" 

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" she shrieked. What she saw outside was the worst thing ever. Well, that was pretty much the problem. She couldn't see outside. The window was covered in ... SNOW! EVIL, EVIL SNOW! 

"Hm?" Kurt walked over to the window and opened it. He was covered head to toe in fluffy white and very cold snow. He quickly closed the window and headed towards the door. He swung it open as heaps of it came pouring in. 

"KURT!" They all shouted. "CLOSE THE DOOR!" 

  
Kurt reached for the handle and shut it tight. (OK! I know that doesn't make any real sense since Kurt probably wouldn't be able to open the door let alone swing it open. Oh yeah, and all the snow too.) 

"Yep! Definitely snow!" he stated. 

They all glared at him as Eddie and Benoit pulled him to his feet. 

"Hm ... I think I need to check again," he exclaimed. 

Just then, Rey Mysterio jumped on his back and tackled him to the ground as everyone else tied him up with Billy and Chuck. 

"Welcome to the club," B & C said dryly. 

"OH YEAH! I'm in a club!" he cheered. 

~*~ 

Steph was pacing up and down the girl's room with a huge frown on her face. 

"I - I - I don't know what to do!" she panicked. 

"Maybe you should stop panicking," Lita said. 

"But that's all I'm good at!" 

Now Stephanie had gone completely hysterical! She was ranting and raving about how she needed to go outside for no apparent reason and how hungry she was. 

"You know, she has a point," Jazz commented. 

"What do you mean?" Molly asked. 

"I know what she means," Trish sighed as she rubbed her stomach. "I'm really hungry!" 

"You just ate a minute ago!" Molly gasped. 

"I know! But I'm a growing girl!" 

  
"The only part that grows on you is your -" 

"NOT THAT AGAIN!" Torrie cut off. "You go on and on about how women should be _pure _and _wholesome_! I'm sick of it!" 

"Aren't we all?" Stacey added. 

"FINE! I'll go where I'm appreciated and excepted!" Molly huffed. 

"Where? Chris Nowinski's bedroom?" Lita laughed. 

  
"Or better yet, in his -" 

"SHUT UP!" Molly yelled. "MY POOR VIRGIN EARS!" she cried as she ran out the door. 

  
Molly ran down the hall and bumped into someone on the way. 

  
"HEY MOLLY! Want to see my diploma?" Chris asked. (there's too many Chris's in the business.) 

"AHHHH! NOT YOU!" she screamed as she took off down the hall. 

  
Nowinski scratched his head. "Was it something I said?" he shrugged and kept walking. 

~*~ 

"We're Canadian's! We don't deserve this kind of punishment!" Lance shouted. 

"Could you untie us?" 

"Man! I want out of here! I want out! OUT!" Christian whined. 

  
"Please! We would really appre -" 

"And we've tried countless times to burn the American flag but that big red freak and that weird gold freak and Booker T keep interfering!" Test said as he crossed his arms. 

"UNTIE US!" 

"What the bloody hell do you want?!" Regal shouted. 

"You don't have to yell!" Chuck whimpered. 

"WHAT?!" They all growled.  


"I promise to never utter what ever again," Austin declared. 

  
"WHAT DO YOU TWO WANT?!" they shouted. 

"Um ... nothing!" B & C squeaked. 

"Man, I wish Rosey and Jamal were here to shut these guys up!" Test huffed. 

"We could always try to find them," Lance suggested. 

  
"Yeah, we are so smart!" Christian nodded his head and headed out the door. 

  
"Don't worry, we'll be back soon," Test grinned at B & C. 

  
"NO! I mean, take your time," Billy said. 

"Yeah, you have all the time in the world," Chuck assured. 

  
"Oh, and could you at least take him with you," Billy asked, motioning to Kurt. 

"Fine! Maybe we can dump him somewhere," Test grunted. 

~*~ 

"Wha - what's going on?" Jeff yawned. 

"YOU TOOK A NAP?!" Edge shouted. 

"Yeah, so?" he said, rubbing his eyes. 

  
"IT'S FREEZING!" 

  
"Yeah, OK! No need to spit," Jeff replied. 

  
"Dude, that is so not cool!" Rob exclaimed. 

"You mean uncool," Jeff corrected. 

"Oh ... yeah," Rob remembered. "Very uncool. Quoting the French "say it, don't spray it!" 

"The French?" Edge uttered. 

"Or maybe it was the Spanish?" Rob thought. 

"I think it was the German," Jeff stated. 

"I'm pretty sure it was George Washington or Abe Lincoln," Rob suggested. 

  
"Or Albert Einstein! I hear he spits a lot!" Jeff said. 

"I don't spit when I yell!" Edge shouted. You could actually see the spit fly out of his mouth. "And Einstein is from Germany!" 

"SEE!" Jeff said. "I was right." 

"Really? I thought for sure that it was Abe?" Rob uttered. 

"SHUT UP!" Edge spat. 

"Oh! You're spit is definitely uncool!" Rob confirmed. 

"It's like ... SUPER SPIT! Like Super Man, it flies out of your mouth. But then it's more like a Super Man who ate a lot of Jell-O," Jeff said. 

Edge stared at him worriedly. "Super ... Spit?" 

"Now** that **is cool!" 

~*~ 

"WAAZZZZZUPP!" 

"Ok, D-Von. You can stop now," Buh-Buh declared. 

"Big bro, he's been saying that none stop," Spike cried. It's like he has a micro chip in his back that's stuck on repeat!" 

"Now, now Spike. What did I say about making fun of the crazy black man." 

"Not to?" 

"Yeah. And what did I say at the mall?" 

"I have much to learn," Spike sighed. 

"No! I said _you _have much to learn." 

"That's what I said!" 

"No. You said _I _have much to learn." 

"I meant me." 

"Oh ... what?" Buh-Buh asked. 

Spike sighed and walked out the door till he was tackled by a scraggly looking creature. 

"Must ... talk ... to ... Lita!" 

"Matt? Get off me!" 

"Lita ... to ... talk ... must!" 

"?" 

"Think ... she ... avoid ... me ... ME!" 

"Well, you haven't won a decent match without cheating since you moved to Smackdown," Spike point out. 

"I ... ... ..." 

"Um, maybe we should get him to Jeff," Buh-Buh proposed. 

"Really? And what good would he do?" 

Buh-Buh shrugged his shoulders. "Anything to get rid of him." 

~*~ 

"JEFF!" 

"Hm? Nap ... taking!" 

"Someone wants to talk to you!" 

"Wha? Me? Oh, yeah." Jeff yawned and headed to the door with just his boxers on. 

  
"Here you go!" Buh-Buh said quickly as he pushed Matt into Jeff. The Dudleyz quickly took off. 

"MATT!!! GET OFF! YOU'RE FREEZING!" Jeff yelled. 

Edge and Rob pulled him off of Jeff and sat him up against a chair. 

"What do you want?" Edge asked. 

"Yeah, dude! We were right in the middle of arguing over Edge's spit." 

"Lita *sniff* is avoiding me!" Matt whimpered. 

  
"And she has good reason to," Jeff commented. 

"WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO HER!" Matt shouted as he threw himself at Jeff's throat, trying to strangle the life out of him. 

  
"WHOA, WHOA, WHOA!" Jeff cried as RVD and Edge dragged Matt back to his chair. "I haven't done anything. Though like I said before, some of my hair is missing." 

"What does that have to do with it?" Edge asked. 

"Oh, nothing! I just thought I'd mention that," Jeff grinned. 

  
"WHY!" Matt sobbed. 

"Maybe you should try to get her back by sending her flowers. There's a great little store at - I'll shut up now." Rob said. 

  
"Here!" Jeff uttered, as he handed Matt some water. 

"What it this?!"  


"Um ... love potion! Now you go and offer her a glass of water and put some of that in there." 

"Oh ... seriously?" 

"Um, would I lie?" 

Edge and Rob exchanged glances at each other. 

  
"THANK YOU!" Matt shouted as he pranced out the door. 

"You gave him ... love potion?" Edge asked. 

"I did? When did I do that?" Jeff asked. 

  
"Just now, dude!" 

"Oh ... cool!" 

"WILL YOU GUYS CUT IT OUT!" Edge yelled. 

"Oh! You can see the spit again!" Jeff exclaimed. 

  
"Oh yeah! It does look like Super Man, except on a Jell-O diet!" Rob said. 

"What did I do to deserve this!" Edge sighed. 

~*~ 

Test, Christian, Lance, and Regal (A.K.A. The UN-American's) were seen walking down the steps. Test was carrying Kurt over his shoulder. He found Kurt too heavy and was soon dragging him by his ankles. 

"What in the BLUEST of blue hell are you doing?!" The Rock asked. 

"Yeah, boy. Watcha doin' with cue ball behind you?" Taker enquired. 

"WHAT DOES IT LOOK LIKE?!" Test shouted. 

  
"Care to rephrase that?" Taker growled. 

  
"Um ... nice to meet you!" Test smiled. 

"Better." 

*Kane mumbles something* 

"Huh? Oh, Kane wants to know why you're carrying such a heavy load?" Taker said. 

"Well, once we tied Kurt to a chair, he started to spaz out. So we did what any person would." 

"You hit him on the head with a lamp," Kane uttered. 

"Uh ... well, yeah!" Christian said. 

Suddenly, Kurt woke up! 

"THE WINDOW! THE WINDOW!" He cried. Kurt jumped up and threw himself at the window and started to dig a hole. 

"That only works in the movies!" Heyman shouted. 

Kurt kept on digging and digging and digging and digging and ... 

**An hour later ...**

****

****"He's been up there are really long time?" Test said. He went over and touched the window slightly. 

The whole thing came crashing down. Test closed the window just in time for Kurt to slip through. 

"Good work!" Taker nodded his head. "But I think you killed him." 

"Not such a bad thing, really," Rikishi said. 

Taker grabbed Kurt by the foot and hung him upside down. "You know, I'm really hungry," he said, licking his lips. 

"Me too!" Christian and Lance complained. 

"What do you think?" Taker looked at The Rock. 

"Well, I'm not for eating him but cremation, sure!" The Rock agreed. 

**Minutes later ...**

****

****"And presto! Kurt ALA shishkabob!" Test presented. 

"How do you like your Kurt done? Blue rare, Rare, medium rare, medium, well done, chigaco style?" The Rock asked. 

Kurt was tied to a large branch or log thing suspended by Taker and Kane. 

"Now we rotate him very slowly." Taker was enjoying every minute of it. Although Kurt had been digging under the snow for quite a long time, it didn't take long to thaw him out. 

Once Kurt was about as done as he could get, they detached him from the log and laid him on the ground. Then they started poking him with sticks. 

The Rock poked him directly in the head over and over and over again. 

"Another fifteen minutes should do it." he said. 

So they tied him back on the very large log and poked him some more just to be sure he was totally dead. 

As they roasted him over the little bonfire, some of them started to notice slight movement in him. 

"WHOA! Stop turning!" The Rock ordered. He walked up and poked Kurt in the head once more. And wouldn't you know it, he woke up! 

  
"AHHHHHHHHH!" he screamed. 'I'M ON FIRE!" he cried. 

Rikishi quickly untied him and Benoit threw a bucket of snow on him. 

~*~ 

**Everyone **was downstairs helping Kurt regenerate his body heat. Surprisingly, Kurt didn't suffer any real bad burns. 

"It's my suit!" Kurt declared. "I'm special!" 

"SHUT UP!" Test grunted. "You know we could've left you to burn until we ate you. Be happy The Rock saved you!" 

"ROCKY!" Kurt squealed. 

"NO, NO, NO , NO! Stay away from The Rock ... you, you, you cradle robber!" 

"So Lita," Jeff asked. "How was it with Matt?" 

"It's official. I have no life." Lita stated dryly. 

"Really?" 

  
"Yeah. I unwittingly agreed to get back together with him." 

"NO!" Jeff gasped. 

"HEY LITA!" Matt yelled. 

"Yeah." 

"Come over here!" 

"Go away!" she said as she stormed off. 

Matt ran over to his younger brother. 

"She wants me!" he grinned. 

"Right ... I'm gonna go over there," Jeff said, walking over to Rob and Edge. 

"You do that!" Matt called after him. "Hehe ... he." 

Kurt kept staring over his shoulder at Taker, like he half expected him to run over and take a chunk out of him. 

"Calm down, milk boy!" The Rock said. 

"Y - You weren't going to eat me, were you?" he asked. 

  
"OF COURSE NOT! YOU'RE NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR THE ROCK! IF YOU SMELLLLLLLLLALALALALALAL! WHAT THE ROCK IS COOKING!" 

"You were cooking me?!" Kurt cried. 

"Exactly! And no one wants to smell you so The Rock is going to go over there and Rock Bottom Brock Lesnar and his walrus companion. 

~*~ 

"So Steph, everything turned out fine!" Triple H said calmly. 

"What are you doing here?" she asked. 

"YEAH! What are you doing here?" hypr-angl asked. 

"Would you believe -" 

"Sick em'!" she yelled. 

Suddenly, Shawn Michaels came out of nowhere and tackled Triple H to the ground. They fought out of the picture and the author was happy. 

THE END! (well, not really. Just the end of this chapter.) 

_____________________________________________________________ 

Not much to say. Hope you enjoyed and yadda, yadda, etc. R&R Please! Oh, yeah! And secondly, thanx to angel-eyes for the cooking of Kurt idea! 

Toodles! ^_^ 


	12. Just Another Casual Day! Which isn't rea...

30 Days and 30 Nights 

****

**Chapter 12: **Just Another Casual Day!(Which isn't really possible) 

****

**Author's Note: **Got very bored. If you don't like it, tough luck. Enjoy! By the way, slight Triple H bashing for what he did these past couple of weeks!Explains why I really dislike him.****

****

**Author:** hypr-angl 

_____________________________________________________________ 

****

**Day 12-**

****

****"Hey Steph!" Torrie exclaimed. 

"..." 

"Steph?" 

  
"Uh ..." 

"Are you still mad about the thought that you almost ate Kurt?" 

"No, though that thought still haunts me. I'm just sulking because spending time with you guys is going to drive me to the loony bin sooner or later." 

"We all knew that," Torrie smiled. "Why are you really sulking?" 

Stephanie burst into tears and grabbed Torrie's arm. 

  
"I'M A MCMAHON! EVERYDAY IT'S THE SAME THING! YOU GUYS MESS EVERYTHING UP AND I END UP PAYING FOR IT! I DEMAND RESPECT!" 

(I almost feel sorry for her ... in a galaxy far, far away!) 

  
"You're starting to sound like the Undertaker." 

"I don't demand respect, I deserve it ... and demand it!" Taker uttered from wherever he was at this point. 

"You don't get it!" Stephanie wailed. "You people are so mean to me! Constantly criticizing my boobs, voice and immaturity!" 

"That's because those are the traits that make you annoying," Lita replied. 

"Steph, you told Triple H you were pregnant just to get attention. Also, you can't wrestle and _your_ voice? Don't get me started," Trish added as she flung her hands in the air. 

"But-" 

Just then, a drunken figure appeared with two other ones supporting him. 

"SCOTT! WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN THE GIRLS ROOM!" Stephanie shrieked. 

  
"I, uh ... you are bootiful!" he said, almost falling down. 

"Why thank you!" Steph blushed. 

"Like a monkey's ass!" he shouted. 

Now Stephanie was really out of control. Sure he was drunk but no one compares her to a monkey's ass and gets away with it. 

"DIE BITCH, DIE!" she screamed as she pounced on Scott Hall. 

X-pac was walking away from the scene as quickly as possible and Kevin Nash was no where to be found. 

"So Kevy," Jazz said seductively. "How's your leg?" 

"Hehe, it's fine," Kevin said girlishly. 

All the other Divas were making gagging noises in the back and clutching their stomachs in disgust. 

"I'm going to loose my lunch!" Torrie exclaimed. 

~*~ 

**Outside ...**

****

****"DUDE! It's is totally cool to be able to go outside again!" Rob exclaimed. 

"It reeks of awesomeness!" Edge shouted. 

"Dude! Seriously, you're starting to freak me out," Rob whispered. 

"EAT SNOW, EDGE!" Jeff pelted Edge with a snowball. 

"NOW YOU'RE GOING TO GET IT, HARDY!" Edge yelled. "AAAHHHHHHH!" he screamed as Rob stuck some snow down his pants. "OH, COLD! COLD! VERY COLD!" 

Rob and Jeff were rolling around in the snow, clutching their stomachs and laughing as hard as they could. 

Edge turned around and went red as ... a beet. 

"IT'S NOT FUNNY!" he shouted. 

"Egde?" 

"Yeah, Jeff?" 

"You're spitting again." 

  
"UGH!" Edge went berserko and started chasing them around until he smacked into the Big Red Machine. 

"?" Kane cocked his head to one side and grunted. 

  
"Hehe, hey big fella?" Edge grinned. 

  
Kane growled. 

  
"I, um ... I'm going to make a nice PEACEFUL snowman over there." 

You're going to make a snowman with us?!" Jeff shouted, obviously excited. 

"Uh ... NO!" 

"Dude, chill man!" 

  
"I SAID NO!" 

Edge heard a low grunt from behind him. 

  
"Hey Kane! Like I was saying, of course I'll make a ... snowman," Edge uttered, forcing a smile. 

Kane slowly walked away, looking back at Edge the whole time. 

"So you're really going to make a snowman with us! Jeff asked. 

"Unfortunately yes," Edge muttered. 

"Dude! That is so cool! Jeff and I already made three over there!" Rob pointed towards the trees. 

Edge stared wide eyed at the hideous creations made by the two. There were one's missing eyes or having one arm in the middle of the chest. But there was _one_ that had his head in his hands. 

"Hehe, I did that," Jeff said proudly. 

"That's ... great." 

C'mon! Dudes, we gotta get started. We're gonna make a killer army!" Rob said, jumping up and down in the snow. 

"Of mutant snowmen?" Edge questioned. 

"Yeah! Don't you think it's cool?" Jeff asked. 

"What do I have to lose," Edge sighed. 

"Um ... is that a trick question?" Jeff asked. 

"You could lose your pride!" Rob said. 

"I hate you!" 

"Why are you such a downer?" 

"SHUT UP, JEFF!" 

"Yes ma'am!" 

"Dude, once we get started nothing will keep us distracted!" Rob exclaimed. 

"Hm ... distracted?" Edge thought, rubbing his chin. 

"What was that, Edge?" Jeff asked. 

"Oh, nothing!" Edge grinned. "Hehe!" 

~*~ 

"I AM GOD!" 

"Jericho is really annoying," Kurt said. 

"You just realized that?" The Rock asked, raising his brow. 

"YOU WILL ALL BOW DOWN BEFORE ME! HAIL KING JERICHO!" 

"Shut your mouth Jericho or The Rock will come over there, shine his boot up real nice, and stick it straight up your -" 

"Yeah, yeah Rocky. We've all heard it before. You're going to stick your boot up my ass. Of course no one would ever dare to stick anything up my ass." 

"That's because nothing could penetrate it - WHAT, I mean ... who." 

"I have a question for you Rocky," Jericho asked. 

  
"NEVER CALL THE GREAT ONE ROCKY! HOW MANY TIMES HAS THE GREAT ONE MENTIONED THAT TO YOU PEOPLE!" 

"Yeah, whatever Rocky. Anyway, have you ever actually stuck your boot up anyone's ass before?" Jericho enquired. 

"I ... um ... not really -" 

  
"AHA! So you have never ACTUALLY shined your boot up and stuck it up someone's tush." 

"In a sense, yes." 

"Then I really have nothing to fear! I AM INVINCIBLE!" 

**Minutes Later ...**

****

****Jericho is standing in the corner, rubbing his butt. 

"That's one guy I know that will never EEVVVER be the same," Kurt laughed. 

  
"GET YOU'RE OWN LINE, ASS CLOWN!" Jericho shouted. 

~*~ 

"Listen, hypr." 

"That's hypr-angl to you!" 

"Whatever, I want to know why you resent me so much? I'm always included in fanfictions like these!" 

  
"Whatever, Trips. Be happy you're getting your own little section right now." 

"YES! It's the Game's time to shine!" HHH cheered. "But I still want to know why you dislike me so." 

"Simple! You're an overgrown, cheap, lying, no good, rotten son of a bitch!!!" hypr said plainly. 

"That's not a reason!" 

"Fine, I'll get a little more detailed." she sighed. "Sure, I felt sorry for you when your ex-wife pronounced herself _pregnant_. But when you started going crazy for no apparent reason, then I got pissed!" 

"Crazy? ME!?!" 

"I think I started to really dislike you, like, four or five weeks ago. I don't know what for ... so be happy that I have a bad memory! As far as I can remember, it was when you got handed the World Heavyweight Championship out of pure stupidity." 

"It was not stupid of Bischoff to give it to me!" HHH protested. "It's not my fault he's the only one that knows talent when it hits him." 

"Sure you have talent! It's just when you're around, you give off a ... bad vibe." 

"Bad vibe?" 

"Look at you! With a nose like that, I'm surprised that you haven't been mistaken for an evil rat or something. Plus, the whole spitting water is not impressive." 

"I HAPPEN TO LIKE SPITTING WATER!" 

"Yes, it makes you feel like a man, doesn't it? No one wants to see you spit water up like a fountain. Anyway, once you started beating up on RVD, then most people started to really dislike you. Especially after Ric Flair hit RVD in the gut with _your_ sledge hammer! Screwing him out of a title that RIGHTFULLY belongs to him!" 

"He wouldn't have gotten it anyway! Let's face it, he's just not good enough for the belt, wait ... he's not even good enough to wrestle in the same ring as me!" 

  
"::coughs loudly:: MAN-WHORE!" 

"What did you say?" 

"Nothing, I would just like to point out that he was the one that put you through a table." 

"No, Buh-Buh did." 

"The edge of the table, not totally through it! ::looks at watch::" 

"But that was -" 

"Oh, look at the time! I hate to sound like Bischoff but you've wasted enough time babbling on about how good you are. And you've definitely taken up more than three minutes of my writing time. Toodles! ^_^!" 

"You always say tha -" 

Suddenly, Triple H finds himself looking over a huge bridge. He feels someone grabbed him and turned him around. OOPS! Too late. Shawn Michael's had already thrown Trips off the bridge. 

  
"I'LL GET YOU HYPR-ANGL! AND YOUR LITTLE DOG TOOOOOOOOOO!" 

"Moron. I don't have a dog so HA!" 

~*~ 

**Back to the story ...**

****

****"So remember you guys. Jeff acts like RVD for a day and Rob, you act like Jeff! In other words, You (points to Rob) now refer to yourself as Jeff Hardy, crazy guy that jumps off ladders. And you (points to Jeff) are now the cool guy, Rob Van Dam." 

"Sure Edge! But what's the point of this?" Rob (Jeff) asked. 

"Do you like games?" 

  
"YEAH!" Rob (Jeff) said, nodding vigorously. 

"Well, this is a game! So you guys go have fun!" Edge said. 

  
"But how do we know who wins?" Jeff (Rob) enquired, scratching his head. 

  
"EASY! The first one to act like themselves, say Rob (points to Jeff (Rob), you pronounce yourself as ... cool." 

"But I am." 

"EXACTLY! Don't think like that anymore. From now on, you're Xtreme!" 

"And - and I'm cool?!" Rob (Jeff) uttered. 

"YEP! Now I'll leave you two alone so you can get started!" 

  
"DUDE! That is way cool!" Rob (Jeff) exclaimed. 

"Totally Xtreme, man!" 

Edge walked away, knowing that the rest of the day would be free for him! 

Now this is going to get confusing. 

~*~ 

Stacey is sitting on a couch rubbing Matt's chest. Matt doesn't really seem to notice. That's a bad thing. 

"NOT A GOOD THING!" 

"Give it up!" 

Anyway, Buh-Buh was teaching D-Von some new phrases. (Sort of like teaching a kindergarten the alphabet but weirder) While Spike, Hurricane, Hardcore Holly and Crash Holly were trying to convince Molly to change her hair back. 

"C'mon cuz!" Crash said, "Hurricane, can't you use your Hurri-powers?" 

"Actually, lately my Hurri-powers have been draining themselves," The Hurricane replied. 

"I WENT THROUGH A TABLE FOR YOU!" 

"No you didn't, Spike! Lance and Christian made you go through that table," Molly huffed. 

"Damnit!" 

"HEY, JEFF! HELP US OVER HERE!" Crash called. 

(this might get slightly confusing) 

"I am not Jeff! I am (Thumb Thingy) Rob ... Van ... Dam!" 

  
"Quit fooling around, Jeff. Listen, I know you're mad about me getting you beaten up and all but that was a long time ago!" 

Rob (Jeff) went totally red. 

"Hehe ... that was funny wasn't it!" he forced a scary laugh. 

"OH YEAH! Edge told me what was going on between you and Rob - I mean Jeff." 

"Edge is cool!" Rob (Jeff) stated. 

"Did he tell you to say that?" 

"Um ... maybe." 

"So you mean, if I keep on about you how you got beaten up by Rosey and Jamal, you can't hurt me because you're not Jeff!"  


"Uh ... I guess?" Jeff flashed an uneasy smile. 

"I see ... it was sooo funny the way Jeff got his ass whooped, wasn't it Rob?" 

"Oh yeah! Juuuust hilarious." 

"And then Jamal jumped from that top rope and came crashing down! That was priceless," Crash laughed. 

"I ... should have brought my camera," Rob (Jeff) said through gritted teeth. 

Crash saw the look on his face and cracked up. He forgot all about Molly and started holding his stomach. 

"Is Jeff really that funny to you?" he asked. 

"Sure he is!" Crash replied. "I mean, just imagine the look on his face if he was here right now!" 

"I'LL KILL YOU!" Rob (Jeff) shouted as he threw himself at Crash and started strangling him. 

Then Jeff (Rob) walked into the scene and held Rob (Jeff) back. 

  
"Hey man! This is not Xtreme! Why are you beating up Crash?" Jeff (Rob) asked. 

"RVD DOESN'T NEED A REASON TO HURT PEOPLE!" Rob (Jeff) exclaimed. He looked at Jeff (Rob). "Crash said he thought it was funny when you got beat up really badly." 

"Um, we'll leave now!" Jeff (Rob) smiled. Then he looked at Rob (Jeff). He looked back at Crash and started beating the crap out of him. 

~*~ 

"Ok D-Von. How did it go again?" Buh-Buh said. 

  
"How do you like me WAZZZUUP?" 

"NO! Replace the WAZZZUUP with now!" 

"How do you like me ... now?" D-Von repeated. 

"GREAT! And what was the other one?" 

"Um ... WHAT?!" 

"What?" 

"WHAT?! 

"What?" 

"WHAT?!" 

"Maybe we shouldn't have done that one." 

"WHAT?!" 

~*~ 

"Hey Mattie!" Stacey said seductively. 

"Eh?" 

  
"Do you want to head over to my room?" 

"Uh ... neh?" 

"YOU'RE HOPELESS!" she screamed. 

"Lita?" Matt remembered the way Lita used to scream at him like that. "::SIGH!:: I miss her ... WAIT! Maybe I can use Stacey to make Lita jealous! HEHEHE! The perfect crime." Matt rubbed his hands together and sat up. "OH, STACEY! WHERE ARE YOU?!" 

In the background, Molly was being chased by Hardcore, Spike, Hurricane, and Crash. Crash was holding a box of hair dye above his head. Jeff (Rob) was yelling behind him, trying to get the hair dye back. He was followed by Rob (Jeff) who was followed closely behind by Stacey, who had given up on Matt and was now going for the other Hardy. And of course, Matt was trailing behind as usual. 

_____________________________________________________________****

****

****Will the Divas stop criticizing Stephanie's boobs? Will Jazz find out the truth about Kevin Nash? Will Triple H continue to get bashed by me? (you're the judge of that) Who will win with the personality switch between Jeff and Rob? Will Molly dye her hair back the way it was before? Or will everyone else do it for her? WHO KNOWS! (I sure don't) 

Now there's a philosophy "no reviews = no more chapters". I STRONGLY believe in that. Great! Now, since all the homework I'm getting is rotting my brain, I can't think as clearly. I need to now what I should do as a main plot next chapter: 

A) Have them go out to _*enjoy*_ another day somewhere else at Stephanie expense of course. 

B) Have the fans (you) join in again to torture their favourite wrestler resulting in madness! AHAHAHAHAHA! 

or C) Get high on something and go crazy?! 

Eventually I'll think of something before my life away from the computer takes over completely. 

Philosophy "no reviews = no more chapters" although I really want to finish this since I have another plot bunny in my head. Plus I've never actually finished a story before. Hehe, shows how dedicated I am. 

Thanx to Innovator of Randomity for the throwing of HHH over a bridge idea! Hope you liked! PLEASE R&R! 

Toodles! ^_^ 


	13. Freedom?

30 Days and 30 Nights 

****

**Chapter 13: **FREEDOM?! 

****

**Author's Note: **Hey people! Ok, last week I gave out choices. Lots and lots of choices (all right, only three). Anyway, I've decided to go crazy. But the craziness will involve my dear reviewers and WWE fans. The craziness and fans will all join outside at another attempt at humour. You could say it's a little bit of A, B, and C. So I'm going to write this chapter and let you people have a chance to join in the mayhem, chaos, and confusion! JUST R&R PWEASE!!!****

****

**Author:** hypr-angl 

______________________________________________________________________ 

****

**Day 13-**

****

****"Did you hear?" 

"What?!" 

"Austin, I'm serious." 

"Yeah, yeah! You always are." 

"Stephanie is planning some revenge on us for making her freak out!" 

"What?!" 

"AUSTIN!"  


"No, I'm mean I'm actually somewhat surprised." 

"You? Seriously?! I highly doubt that." 

"Shut up, bird boy!" 

"My name is Ra -" 

Suddenly, the closet door flung open. 

"AHHHHHHHHHH!" 

"I thought Billy and Chuck were the only closet homosexual's?" Lita said. 

"What are you doing here?!" Raven asked, looking quite offended at the same time. 

"Yeah, WHAT?!" 

  
"Stephanie wants to see you two. Apparently you guys are in some kind of trouble." Lita shrugged and walked off. 

  
"TROUBLE!" Raven gulped. "We're not going to live to see tomorrow." 

  
"SHUT UP! WHAT?! I SAID SHUT UP! WHAT?! I SAID -" 

"Are you arguing with yourself?" 

"Um ... NO!" 

~*~ 

"So ..." Raven said, looking around the room. 

"What? ..." Austin articulated, raising his eyebrow and copying Raven. 

Stephanie gave them both very awkward looks like 'you're high aren't you?' 

"Wha -" 

  
"OK!" she said. 

"Wha -" 

"DON'T YOU DARE SAY THAT AGAIN!" she grabbed Austin's mouth tightly. "Or I swear I will do something that you definitely won't like!" 

"You're going to show me your boobs? Steph, I'm married." Austin said with a grin. 

"NOT THAT!" Stephanie sat down at her desk ... DESK?! 

"Um ... I hate to ask but ... when did you get a desk?" Raven enquired. 

"The little rich princess probably couldn't stand being away from something that made her look like a boss. It's a McMahon thing," Austin whispered. 

"I'm - not - in - the - mood!" Steph said slowly through gritted teeth. 

Austin just replied with a goofy grin while Raven rolled his eyes. 

"Listen Steph, Austin and me were busy -" 

"I know. Lita told me," she said between fits of laughter. 

"IT WASN'T LIKE THAT!" Raven went completely red and stood up abruptly. 

Steph looked up at him and simply smiled. "Calm down, Raven. Now listen up! I have been hearing some very ... weird things, wait, more like rumours that someone has been spreading about me." 

"YOU?!" Raven gasped. 

  
"Cut the crap! Anyway, this is where you and some others come into play." 

"Others?" Austin and Raven said nervously. 

  
"Yes. I have gathered a group of stupid, ignorant, crazy nuts just like you. Though they're not all that crazy. Some of them are actually quite good looking." *trances out*" 

"Really? Like who?" Raven smirked. 

"What?" she said. 

"That's my line!" 

  
"Sorry Austin, anyway, that's a different topic entirely." Stephanie clapped her hands and turned her head towards the doors. 

A group of guys came out, all pretty much confused. 

"What is The Hurricane doing here? *wriggles nose* I smell evil lurking about! To the Hurri-cave!" 

"You're not going anywhere!" Stephanie bellowed. 

"Yes ma'am!" he squeaked. 

"Dude, you are not cool. You need to relax!" 

"Jeff? What are you doing here?" Stephanie said. "And why are you acting like Rob Van Dam?" 

"Because I am! Get that through your heads, people!" 

"Now, that is Xtreme!" 

"Rob?" 

"Yes?!" 

"Not you Jeff!" 

"Me?" 

"No, Rob I - UGH! I don't even want to know." Stephanie shook her head in disbelief. 

"Is that a good thing?" 

"I don't know, DDP. You usually make that clear to us," Raven sighed. 

"Oh, riiiiiight! Um ... it's ... no wait ... I -" 

"OK!" Steph interrupted. "Now let's make sure you're all here. I'll call your name's and you say 'I' 

"Raven." 

"Check!" 

"Austin." 

"What?!" 

"Good enough ... Kane?" 

"..." 

"You don't have to answer. Anyway, um ... Jeff?" 

"I'm here!" Rob exclaimed. 

Stephanie sighed. "And Rob?" 

"This is cool! But everything is when you're (Thumb Thingy) Rob - Van - Dam!" 

"We get the point." Steph looked around. "Did I forget anyone?" 

"ME! Mild, news reporter, Gregory Helms!" 

"You weren't really invited but I'll add you to the list anyway. Oh, and DDP for some reason." 

"I'm a good thing!" 

  
"I'm sure you are." Steph doubled-checked over the list and nodded her head. "OK, men! You have been asked to see me because apparently, someone -" 

"Or something!" The Hurricane uttered, glaring around at everyone. 

"Riiiiight. Or something, has been spreading horrible rumours about me!" 

"ABOUT YOU!" Rob (Jeff) gasped. 

"No! About my green elephant in the basement of the White house!" she retorted. 

"COOL!" 

  
"OK. Your mission; find out who the criminal is and bring him/her/it to me!" 

"CRIMINALS! My speciality!" The Hurricane exclaimed. Then he grabbed his cape and zoomed out of the picture. 

"What about me, Steph?!" Triple H whined. 

  
"What about you? You're not supposed to be here! Or did you not get that the other four times you got beat up?" 

"Wasn't it three?" 

"Whatever! I don't care!" Stephanie screamed as she walked out of the room. 

"Ahhh! So I see we're back for some more punishment?" said a voice from out of nowhere. 

"NO! It's hypr- something or other!" 

"ANGL! Just for that, I'm not going to pity you like I was thinking of doing!" 

"I ... would you - uh - believe I - uh ..." 

  
"SPIT IT OUT!" 

"UH ...I - uh-" 

  
"That's it! Maybe I should just kill you in this fic." 

"Then I'll come back as a zombie," Triple H grinned. 

Suddenly, a jolt of lightning struck Triple H in the head. 

"HA! See I'm not dead! Besides, lightning doesn't strike in the same place twice. *BOOM* Ok, so maybe I was wrong," he coughed, before falling to the floor 

"DAMN RIGHT IT DOES! *BOOM!* TAKE THAT! *BOOM* AND THAT!" 

"CURSE YOU, HYPR-ANGL! AND YOUR LITTLE KITTEN TOOOOOO!" 

"I don't have a cat either." 

  
"Iguana?" 

"No." 

"Rabbit?" 

"No." 

"But -" 

"Let's just say I don't have a pet." 

"Oh ... I'll still get my revenge." Triple H shook his fist and ran off, followed by a violent lightning cloud. 

~*~ 

Jeff (Rob, actually, I think you get the point so we'll just say Rob) Rob was sitting on a big couch looking at his thumbs. 

"Don't worry. I can last another day," he assured himself. "What's that?" puts his thumb to his ear. "You want me to give up? NO WAY! What do you mean you're bored?!" 

Then Jeff walked by. 

  
"Dude, have you given up yet?" he asked. 

"NO! Because there is a little saying: 'live for the moment!' and I intend to stick to it!" 

"You have no clue what it means," Jeff stated. 

"I have no clue what that means." Rob said. Then he looked at his thumbs. "No, I can't kill Jeff - I mean Rob! What do you mean you're confused?!" 

Jeff took one last glance at RVD snuck away. Not wanting to get stuck between a man and his thumbs. 

"What are you doing?!" he exclaimed as one of his thumbs poked him in the eye. "STOP THAT!" The other thumb was scratching his leg. 

Then Scott Hall (drunk of course) happen to stumble by and witness the first ever, man vs. thumbs match in the history of, well ... the world. Of course this got him even more confused. 

  
"Why are you ... wr - wresTling with you thumbs?" he muttered. 

"GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF!" Rob shouted. 

Scott scratched his head as Rob flipped behind the couch and out of sight. Then he just left, obviously needing more beer or possibly needing to go to the bathroom. 

~*~ 

"Ahhhh! The best milk for the best wrestler! And Olympic hero to all the kids out there." Kurt chugged down the milk, which left him with a little white moustache. 

A few people walked by and gave him odd looks. Kurt, not realizing what was going on, simply waved his glass of milk at them and grinned. Then Rey Mysterio and Taker happen to notice the Olympic dork. 

"Hey, boy! Are you making fun of me?" Taker growled, as he stared at Kurt, milk moustache. 

"What are you talking about?" Kurt asked. "Hey! Is this your kid?" points to Mysterio. "God, he's pretty ugly! No wonder he wears a mask." 

Mysterio kept his cool, just going slightly red. 

"Are you sayin' that my kid is going to look like an idiot?" Taker said. 

"What?! NO! Of course not. I was just saying -" 

Taker glared at him. 

  
"I'm sure your kid will look just like ... a ... movie star! And you *looks at Mysterio* How could I ever mistake you for an infant?" Kurt opened his arms out for a hug. Then he looked at Rey and crouched down on his knees. "Better?" he grinned. 

Rey did a drop kick to his head and walked off. 

"I'll get you, boy!" Taker mumbled as he shook his fist and left. 

Kurt wiped the sweat off his forehead and continued to not realize the milk above his lip. 

"Kurt! What is that thing on your face?" Stacey asked. 

"What! Where?!" 

  
"Oh, it's just your nose!" Stacey laughed evilly and continued walking. 

  
"Everyone's a comedian!" Kurt burst. "I'm just so frickin' hilarious, aren't I?" 

~*~ 

"Oh Stacey! Where are you?" Matt cried out. "DAMN IT! How can I make Lita jealous if I can't find that leg glomping maniac?!" 

"Citizen Hardy!" Hurricane called. 

"What now? Can't you see I'm busy trying to make my ex-girlfriend jealous!" 

"You have been acting mighty ... suspicious lately." 

"How so?" 

  
"Well, you been walking around acting very weird -" 

"Is that it?" Matt asked, getting impatient. 

  
"Why? Are you in a hurry? Maybe so you can SPREAD RUMOURS ABOUT OUR GENERAL MANAGER, STEPHANIE MCMAHON!" 

"What the hell -" 

" *GASP!* Such language! Not in front of the children!" 

"There's no one around, Hurri-dork!" 

  
" *sniff* You know that really hurts." The Hurricane pouted. "WAIT! If you won't tell The Hurricane what you're up to, then maybe you'll talk to ..." 

The Hurricane dashed down the halls and out of sight. Matt waited there for half an hour till he came running back at top speed. 

"Greg ... Gregory Helms!" he wheezed. 

  
"Whatever," Matt replied. 

"Now, Mr. Hardy. What have you done lately?" 

"Um ... other then try to find Stacey so Lita will become jealous and like me again, nothing out of the ordinary." 

"GREAT! You are free to go, sir!" The Hurricane tipped his hat and walked away. 

"He seriously needs to see a psychiatrist." Matt stated, then he spotted Stacey. "STACEY! Will you go out with me!" 

"NO!" She screamed. "I've been trying to get your attention for weeks and you just rejected me so I've given up on you! You can tell your little brother that I'm coming for him!" with that she strutted off with her nose in the air. 

~*~ 

"Ahhhhh! Finally, total relaxation!" Edge said, leaning back on his chair. 

"EDGE!" 

"Uh oh!" 

"Edge! I won, I won!" Jeff shouted, hopping up on his bed. 

"Really?" Edge sighed. "How?" 

"Rob was fighting when his thumbs and he finally did his thumb thingy behind the couch!" 

"Dude! I think these things are cursed," Rob uttered, staring at his hands. 

"I think I'm cursed," Edge muttered as he shook his head. "Well! You guys must be pretty tired right now." 

"No, not really." Jeff said. 

  
"I am!" Rob coughed. "You don't know how tiring it is to wrestle with yourself." 

"Is it really that hard?" Jeff asked. 

"Dude, let's just say, I'll never look at Edge the same way." 

  
"What does it have to do with Edge?" 

"Yeah! What about me?!" 

"I don't know," Rob shrugged. "It just felt like the right thing to say at the moment." 

"O ... K! Anyway -" 

Suddenly, Crash ran in and grabbed Jeff's blonde hair dye again and took off. 

"COME BACK YOU MIDGET!" Jeff yelled as he clutched his blue hair dye and chased after him. 

"You think all the chemicals in that stuff would make Jeff go a little insane?" Rob said. 

  
"Who says he isn't already," Edge stated. 

~*~ 

"CAN YOU DIG IT ... SUCKAAAAAAA!" 

"The Rock says for you to shut your pie hole because he's having a pleasant conversation with Jericho! Now, where was I ... oh yeah! *turns to Jericho* You worthless piece of monkey crap! No one calls the most electrifying man in sports entertainment an assclown." 

  
"Um Rocky! I think I just did, assclown!" 

"This is indeed disturbing," Goldust uttered. 

"SHUT UP! And stop feeling yourself up!" Jericho said, looking at Goldust with disgust. 

"I need Mini-dust. At least he will listen to me!" Goldust and Booker left the room while Jericho and The Rock continued to rant. 

~*~ 

In the lounge, there were ten people: Torrie, Nidia, Jamie Noble, Tajiri, Billy, Chuck, Edge, Stephanie, Rikishi and some ugly girl that no one paid attention to. 

"What are you looking at?" Torrie said, staring at Nidia. 

"Nothing! cough *SLUT* cough!" 

"What did you just say?" Torrie asked. 

"Me?" Nidia said, trying to look innocent. 

  
"That's it! You're going down, bitch!" 

"Die, whore!" 

While Torrie and Nidia fought, there was a staring contest going on between Stephanie and the anonymous girl. 

"Are you sure you're here because of my father?" Stephanie questioned. 

  
"Now, Steph. Would I ever lie to you?" 

" *GASP* BISCHOFF!" she screamed. 

"Heya, Steph!" 

"Get out!" 

"Come now. This _is _all about bonding isn't it?" he showed off his stupid grin that tended to drive her crazy. 

"Rikishi, Edge!" she ordered. "Now!" 

Rikishi stood up and walked slowly towards Bischoff while Edge crept up from behind. Edge grabbed Bischoff's arms so he couldn't move while Rikishi delivered the Stink Face like at Unforgiven. 

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Bischoff howled. 

Stephanie cackled evilly as she watched Bischoff squirm. 

"You know, Steph!" Bischoff spat, as he was finally pulled away from Rikishi's butt. "I came here only to tell you that I was going to drive you home but now I've changed my mind!" 

Bischoff slammed the door behind him as he stormed out. 

Stephanie was totally speechless. Bischoff was ... being nice?! Great! Her only chance to get away from this hell hole was gone. 

  
"DAMN YOU!" she shrieked. Then Steph heard Bischoff's voice again. 

"Oh, and I was the one that started all the rumours!" he laughed. 

~*~ 

**Night ...**

****

****"Today was really ... boring apart from the man vs. thumbs match," Lita commented. 

"I couldn't find Jeff anywhere today!" Stacey bawled. 

"I thought you were after Matt," Lita said. 

  
"No. All he does is reject me." 

  
"So you've finally seen the light?!" 

"Hey, Steph?" Trish looked over at Stephanie. She was muttering stuff to herself. Mostly about Bischoff. 

"Is she still on about that?" Jazz sighed. 

"So? You're still on about Kevin Nash," Torrie said. 

"Hey Lita." Stephanie whispered. 

What is it Steph?" 

  
"Should I tell her?" 

"Are you kidding. She'd go absolutely crazy like you!" 

"HEY!" 

"Hey what?" Jazz asked. 

"Hehe, nothing. Nothing at all. You just continue to obsess over that little -" 

All the girls made loud coughing noises. 

"I mean _Kevvy_!" Stephanie mocked. _"I need to get out of here!" _she thought. 

~*~ 

"What?!" 

"What?!" 

"What?!" 

"What?!" 

"What?!" 

"What?!" 

"What?!" 

"What?!" 

"SHUT UP!" Buh-Buh shouted. "D-Von! I said no conversations with Austin!" 

  
"Awwww! It was just getting to the good part," Austin said. 

"Hey Steph!" Spike waved as Stephanie popped her head in. 

"Hey guys. Did you know Bischoff was here?" 

"No. Jericho was," Buh-Buh replied. 

"Oh, I'm over him." she stated. 

"Just a week ago you couldn't get enough of him," Spike said. 

"Yeah, well ... things change." 

"But a McMahon doesn't," Buh-Buh added. "Oh well. You couldn't get with Jericho even if you wanted to you." Buh-Buh gave Spike a signal. 

"Uh ... yeah! I mean, he up there and your ... not up there." Spike commented. 

"And what is that supposed to mean?!" Stephanie enquired. 

"Oh, nothing. Nothing at all." 

"I could get Jericho any day of the week, month, year or millennium!" 

"Sure Steph. You keep telling yourself that." 

"YOU'LL SEE! I'M GOING TO GET JERICHO TOMORROW! THEN YOU'LL SEE!" Stephanie ran out of the room. 

"Poor Jericho," Spike said. 

  
"Yeah, Missile McMahon has locked on to her target." Buh-Buh sighed. 

______________________________________________________________________ 

So ... good? Bad? In the middle? Anyway, I kind of ran out of ideas near the end but I hope you enjoyed it. 

If anyone wants to participate in the next chapter about fans, wrestlers and the outdoors, just review and I'll see what I can do! I love reviews. They make me feel special! 

Cya Ppl! ^_^ 

No reviews = no chapters (That has a nice ring to it, don't you think?) 


	14. Hot Head?

30 Days and 30 Nights 

**Chapter 14: **Hot Head! 

**Author's Note: **Oh yeah! Fourteenth chapter. Am I special or what? Thanx to all those that wanted to take part in this! I don't own Tundra, qwerty, Sonar, ArticFox, Ashley, Agent51, Femalephenom, Azrael, or Leah (aka bob n her loyal pray-fish, Smokey). I hope you enjoy! 

**Author:** hypr-angl 

______________________________________________________________________ 

**Day 14-**

"I hate my life." 

"Please, Steph. We went over this yesterday," Lita sighed. "How do you think we feel, living with you?" 

"Yeah!" Trish said. "Did you know you snore?" 

"I do not!" Stephanie protested. 

"Yes you do. You're almost worse then Jazz," Molly added. 

"SEE! You people don't appreciate me! I do so much for you and what do I get in return?" 

"Um ... nothing." 

"Exactly!" Stephanie stormed out of the room and down the hall. She ran down the stairs and glared at everyone that passed her by. 

"Hey, Steph!" Kurt grinned. 

"WHAT DO YOU WANT?!" she hissed. 

"Um ... well, I was just rummaging through the fridge when -" 

"HEY, STEPH!" 

"What now, Jeff? Can't you see I'm having a uninteresting conversation right now?!" 

"Me and Rob -" 

"Rob and I," Stephanie corrected. 

"Yeah, whatever. Anyway, we were rummaging in the basement -" 

"We have a basement?" Kurt said. 

"Will you stop interrupting me?" Jeff uttered. "Now where was I? Oh yeah, Rob and I found the basement and became curious as to what was inside." 

"That much we got," Stephanie commented. 

"Yeah, so we looked through it and found this," Jeff motioned for Rob to come over with a large object covered by a white table cloth. 

"Ladies, Gentleman -" 

"And Olympic heroes!" 

"Give it up, Kurt." Steph sighed.  
  
"Prepare to be amazed!" Rob announced as he pulled the cloth off to reveal an old barbecue covered in cobwebs and other grotesque things. 

"EW!" Stephanie's face contorted as she stared at the monstrosity. "What do you plan to do with it?" 

"Have a barbecue of course!" Jeff exclaimed. 

"All we need are party snack." Rob sighed. 

"HEY!" Kurt yelled. "Is this a coincidence or what?! I happen to have, with me, all the necessary things for a barbecue!" 

Stephanie gasped in shock. _"They couldn't have a barbecue! They'd probably end up burning down a tree outside. Besides, it would attract way too much attention from the public." _she thought. 

"Dude, Steph. You're looking a little pale." 

"Y - You can't" 

"It's all right, Steph. We promise not to burn down anything outside or attract to much attention," Jeff said. 

"But - But things like this always results in out of control madness." she stuttered. 

"Now Steph. We won't harm a thing. All we need to do is clear off the webs and junk. Grease it up and voila! A safe barbecue for everyone!" Rob assured. 

"Why do I not believe you?" 

"Would we lie?" Jeff asked. The three gave her wide, innocent grins. 

"Fine. Just PROMISE not to burn, hurt or kill anything during any of this." 

"YES! Let's go!" Kurt skipped one way while Jeff and Rob ran the other direction. 

"I just know I'm going to regret this," Stephanie said. 

~*~ 

"Hey, Kane!" Taker called out. "Did you know there's going to be a barbecue?" 

"So?" Kane shrugged. 

"Barbecue's usually involve, fire, burning, hatred, more burning, and sometimes death if it's planned by the right people. Oh, and good food." 

  
"..." 

"Don't tell me you're not the least bit excited?" Taker was obviously confused. How could Kane not be excited about going to a barbecue? Especially one that was being arranged by Kurt, RVD and Jeff. And everyone knew that it would probably blow up in their faces. 

"..." 

"Fine. I'm gonna see if they've blown anything up yet. Join me if you're bored." Taker walked out of the room and headed downstairs. 

... 

"YES!" 

Taker popped his head in again and stared oddly at Kane. 

"Did you -" 

"Just the wind, just the wind." Kane stated. 

~*~ 

Taker walked downstairs and soon spotted Kane running down the stairs faster then he had ever seen. 

"I thought you didn't care?" he asked. 

Kane stopped abruptly and turned towards Taker. 

"Yeah, well ... I changed my mind." 

"HOLY SHIT!" Taker exclaimed. "What are those?" Taker pointed at Kane's legs. 

"They're my legs?" 

"NO! The things attached to them!" 

Kane looked down to see two girls clinging to his legs. 

"Oh. I didn't notice." Kane said.  
  
"I'm sure you didn't." Taker rolled his eyes, grabbed the two, and lifted them both off the ground. 

"Awww! I was just getting comfortable," one of them sighed. 

"I just touched Kane's leg!" the other one squealed. 

"Don't tell me, fan girls?" he sighed. "Great, Kane. What do you want me to do with these two?" Taker asked. 

"We have names!" 

"Really? I don't care what your names are but you're probably going to tell me," Taker put them both down. 

"I'm Tundra." 

"And I'm qwerty." 

Taker looked very confused. 

"How is it you have two fan girls that _both_ want to glomp your legs?" 

Kane merely shrugged and headed towards the stairs. 

"Wait, Kane! We want to talk to you!" qwerty pleaded. 

"Yeah! Which do you prefer? Blondes, brunettes, or redheads?" 

"Um ... redheads?" Kane replied. 

"Ah ... I see," Tundra said as she jotted it down in her little notebook. 

"Yeah ... bye." 

"WAIT! Where are you going?" 

"Don't say -" 

"To a barbecue in the backyard." 

"Idiot," Taker muttered. 

"Oh! A barbecue!" qwerty exclaimed. "Very interesting *laughs evilly* " 

"That's it!" Taker bellowed. "OUT, NOW!" he ordered. 

"OK! But we'll be back." They both announced as they both trotted out the door. 

"Along with millions and millions of rabid fans," Taker added. Then he looked around nervously. If Kane's fans were here, then the crazy ones that liked Taker were sure to follow. 

"What's up?" Kane asked. 

"Um ... I'm gonna lock myself up in my room," Taker uttered. 

"Again?" Kane sighed. "The doctor said that wasn't good for you." 

"I have my reasons," he replied quickly as he shot up to his room. 

~*~ 

**The Barbecue ...**

"Yesterday sucked," Raven stated, as he sipped his glass of milk. "And so does this party. How does this possible? A barbecue in the winter? And who brings milk to a barbecue?" 

"Yeah! WHAT! The people want beer! WHAT! I said what! WHAT!" 

"Shut up, Austin." Raven looked at the food table. "Judging by the looks of it, I'd say this was organized by -" 

"Your Olympic hero!" 

Austin and Raven shook their heads in dismay. 

"Enjoying everything?" Kurt smiled and picked up a cookie. "You know what goes good with cookies?" 

"Milk," they answered dryly. 

"OF COURSE! Milk, cookies, milk, butter, milk, whip cream, m -" 

"WE GET THE IDEA!" they shouted. 

"SHHHH! Not so loud. There's rumours that Kane was visited by some alien fans that attached themselves to his legs. I heard they suck the life out of him," Kurt whispered. 

"They glomped his leg." 

"Is that what those crazy aliens call it?" Kurt exclaimed. "And how would you know that?" he said suspiciously. 

"I think I would know. I had a pair that tried to leach themselves on to me." 

"YOU?" Kurt said in astonishment. 

"What is that supposed to mean? Am I _that _unattractive that the thought of aliens, girls, or anything liking me is repulsive?" Raven crossed his arms and let out a big breathe. 

"It's just ... YOU!" Kurt said in disgust. 

"WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME?!" Raven growled. 

"NOTHING!" Kurt recoiled and headed over to the food table quickly. 

"RAVEN! AUSTIN!" Agent51 gasped. 

"Oh, er ... hi," Austin replied. 

"I MISSED YOU GUYS SOOOO MUCH!" she squealed as she pulled them into a hug. 

Austin and Raven exchanged nervous glances. 

"T-Tell me," Raven said. "Is that other girl -" 

"Sonar?" 

"R-Right. Her. She's gone ... right?" 

"NO! Are you crazy?! I mean ... of course you're not. She went somewhere else." 

Raven wiped some sweat off his head. 

"Thank goodness," he sighed. 

"But she'll be back soon," Agent51 grinned. 

"Yeah, I'm gonna go over there," points towards the men's bathroom." He started to walk until he felt some heavy breathing on his neck. "You're not going to follow me in there, are you?" 

"ME?" she jumped back. "Hehe, of course not. I'll just stick around outside." 

"You do that," Raven cautiously walked into the bathroom and headed over towards the mirror. "I gotta get out of here," Then he spotted a window on the ceiling. "Hm ..." 

~*~ 

::DING DONG:: 

"I'll get it," Stephanie said dryly. 

"Hey, Steph!" 

"Yo, sis!" 

"WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING HERE?!" she screamed. 

"Whoa, calm down. Have you been taking the prozac I've sent you?" Shane questioned. 

"No, but I don't need them," she pouted. 

"Listen, you breathe harder then a hurricane -" 

"I'LL SAVE YOU, CITIZEN MCMAHON!" The Hurricane leaped by then crashed into a vase. 

"Right, you need to calm down if you ever want to be liked by anyone." 

"He's right, Steph!" Bischoff nodded his head and walked in casually. 

"Like me! You mean, If I calm down even someone like ... Jericho might find me sane!" "Well, Jericho may be pushing it but I think it's possible," Shane thought. 

"No way! I'm not going to have one of _my _RAW superstars get together with Smackdown's general manager!" Bischoff protested. 

"Oh, why don't you go outside and set your hair on fire!" Stephanie spat. 

"I might just do that," he declared. "If it pleases the crowd -" 

"BURN IT OFF! BURN IT OFF!" everyone yelled. 

"See Steph. These people love me. It's all about the people," he smirked. 

"Yeah right. Just go." Stephanie turned her attention back to Shane. "As you were saying before I was_ rudely interrupted_." She said loudly as she shot a look of disgust at Bischoff. Bischoff smiled back and held up his lighter. 

~*~ 

Man this thing is heavy," Jeff commented as he and Rob carried the barbecue outside. 

"FINALLY! THE ROCK HAS COME BACK TO THE BACKYARD!" 

"It's your first time here," Jericho sighed. 

"Shut up, jabroni! You don't think The Rock knows that? The Rock knows all! The -" 

"No one wants to hear about The Rock anymore!" Jericho shouted. 

"Hey look! It's Jericho!" said a voice from behind him. 

"Ah, it must be one of my loyal fans," he exclaimed. He swivelled around. "And what's your name?" 

"Azrael," she replied. 

"Right, Ariel." 

"Azrael." 

"I don't care what your name is. Now do you want an autograph or not?" 

"What do you think?" 

Jericho grabbed a piece of paper and scribbles his name down. He extended his hand to offer the paper. 

"What are you doing?" she asked. 

"You wanted an autograph." 

"What ever gave you that idea?" 

"You said so." 

"No I didn't." 

"Then why did you hand me a piece of paper?" 

"I didn't. You grabbed one from out of nowhere." 

"Are you arguing with me?" 

"Maybe." 

"NO ONE ARGUES WITH THE KING ... OF THE WORLD!" Jericho looked around and found that everyone had averted their attention away from him. "Now where did she go?!" 

"The Rock thinks she headed towards the house," The Rock pointed out. 

"I don't care what you think! ... But this is the only exception." Jericho followed in the direction The Rock was pointing and stomped away. 

...  
  
"The Rock thinks you can come out now." 

"Thanks! He was getting irritating." Azrael stated. "Do you know where Taker is?" 

"He said something about locking himself in his room for the rest of the day." 

"I see," she thought. 

"Are you going to leave now?" The Rock asked. 

"Are you kidding me? Just because he's locked his door doesn't mean I can't get in. How do you think I sneaked into his closet?" 

"Um ..." 

"That's right. No one knows because I am a very cunning, sneaky person." Azrael walked away with an evil grin plastered on her face. 

"Fans," The Rock sighed. "Where are The Rock's fans?" 

~*~ 

"Hey Jeff," Azrael said as she walked by. 

"I-Is that a fan -" Jeff bumped into someone which caused him to trip and let go of the barbecue he was holding. 

"DUDE!" Rob exclaimed as he fell along with the barbecue. 

"OW!" they shouted together. 

"JEFF! Are you all right?!" 

"Who?!" 

"Oh my god! You have an injury!" 

"Wha -" 

"Get the paramedics!" she yelled. "HELLO ANYONE! WE HAVE AN INJURED MAN!" 

"WHOA, WHOA, WHOA!" Jeff sat up quickly. "No need to call the doctor. I've jumped off ladders, turnbuckles, along with many other high objects. Having a barbecue fall on me isn't that bad." Jeff stared at her. "Do I know you?" 

"From a previous encounter." she stated. 

"Oh yeah! Like a week ago or something. You were that crazy girl that wanted to take me to Disneyland." 

"That was me!" 

"Right! ... oh, right." Jeff said, realizing what was going on. "You're not going to tie me up in a sack and attempt take me away again, are you?" 

"Why, of course not," Ashley replied as she threw the sack in the bushes behind her. "What would make you think I would do something like that?" 

"Did you just throw a sack in the bushes?" Jeff asked. 

"Bushes?! What bushes?!" Ashley slowly backing towards the food. "I'll see you later! Gotta get some grub." Ashley quickly dashed away, but not before taking some pics. 

"First she wants to take me to Disneyland, then to the hospital. Now she's trying to blind me?! What's next? Is she going to raid my house and take everything I own?" 

"What'sup wit dat?!" Hurricane commented. 

"Just pick the stupid barbecue back up so we can start eating. I think everyone's getting turned off by Kurt's milk products," Rob ordered. 

"Yeah! When you guys said a party, you never said anything about inviting the whole dairy farm to come," The Hurricane stated. 

"We didn't ask the dairy farm to come," Jeff corrected. "The dairy farm came to us!" 

"Now how do you get this thing started?" Rob questioned while scratching his head. 

"I found this stuff called "lighter fluid" and a tank of "propane" next to the barbecue while we were in the basement," Jeff stated. 

"Well! Pour the lighter fluid on!" Rob shouted. 

"Not too much!" The Hurricane said nervously. "Too much could -" 

"Kurt spiked the punch - I mean milk, and put food poisoning in the cheese," Jeff said. 

"THE FIEND! Inflicting pain on so many innocent -" 

"PEOPLE ARE DYING! GO! GO! GO!" they shouted. 

"I'M GOING! BEWARE EVIL DOER! FOR THE HURRICANE'S SHALL THWART ALL EVIL -" 

"GO!" 

"Right, right. Don't rush me. I am a super hero." The Hurricane zoomed off while Rob and Jeff shook their heads sadly. 

"Now that he's gone, you can turn on the propane now." Rob said. 

"I wonder what it does?" Jeff asked. 

"Only one way to find out, dude!" Rob laughed as he took the lighter fluid and grinned. 

~*~ 

"HEY TAKER!" 

"What is it, Edge?!" Taker grumbled. 

Jeff and Rob are going to blow up the backyard. 

"Shit!" Taker shouted as he slammed his fist on the wall, creating a small indent. 

"So you're not coming?" 

"You have a problem with that, boy?!" 

"NO! But you're missing out on some great action," Edge added. 

"DAMNIT!" Taker growled. "Stupid fan girls!" 

"HEY! - I mean -" 

"SHHHHH!" 

"I -" 

"Shut up!" 

"Sorry!" 

"He'll hear us!" 

"Oh god," Taker said as he walked up to his closet. Little did he know, we would deeply regret it. 

"HI!" a girl screamed as she tumbled out of the closet. 

"You're not that girl that hid in my closet last time?!" Taker picked her up and gave her a puzzled look. 

"I'm not Azrael if that's who you're talking about. I'm Femalephenom. Azrael is somewhere else. There's another fan under your bed." 

"Awww! Why'd you give it away!" Sonar sulked. 

"He was bound to find out sooner or later," Femalephenom shrugged. 

"Then where's that other person?" Taker still looked very confused and nervous at the same time. 

"Don't get your panties in a knot!" Sonar said. 

Undertaker glared at her. 

"I mean boxers!" 

Undertaker continued to give her the evil eye. 

"What I meant to say was ... don't get your bandana in a knot! HA! Like you wear panties. Hehe ... hah ... heh." 

"Girl, be lucky I don't hurt women." 

"But you do! I mean -" 

"I'M HERE!" Azrael announced as she climbed through the window and tripped. 

"Great entrance," Taker commented dryly. 

"You like it? I couldn't dig a hole like last time so I figured the window was of course the next best thing. OH MY GOD! I sound like Heyman!" 

Taker rolled his eyes and headed out the door. 

"Must you guys be my shadow?" he sighed. 

"What's wrong with your shadow?" 

"I like your shadow! You can feel the darkness emanating from it. Which is cool." 

"I need to go. I saw Raven trying to escape earlier." Sonar leaped out of the picture. 

Taker headed downstairs with Azrael and Femalephenom close behind. 

"I see you have your hands full!" Jericho commented. 

"CAN IT, BOY!" Taker raised his fist and brought it down on a table. "OOPS!" 

"Smart move!" Jericho cracked up until Taker choke slammed him through the already broken table with broken flower pot. 

  
~*~ 

"Now to light it!" Jeff exclaimed. 

"Dude, are you sure we should use all the propane up?" 

"Sure, I'm sure. The more the merrier!" 

Meanwhile, Rob was pouring the lighter fluid on the barbecue. "Dude, do you know how much of this stuff we have to use?" he asked. 

"All of it, I guess. Jeff pulled out a match from his pocket. "Does it matter how far away we are when we light it." 

"I dunno?" RVD shrugged. "I'll just lean over your shoulder while you-" 

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" The Hurricane seemed to be going in slow motion compared to everyone else. He leaped over the grill and landed on both of them before they lit it. 

"Dude," Rob groaned. "This is definitely not cool!" 

"For the last time, Hurricane. You can't fly!" Jeff mumbled from beneath Rob. 

"BE HAPPY! I HAVE SAVED YOU TWO FROM CERTAIN DEATH!" 

"Why does everyone think we're incompetent?!" Jeff groaned as he climbed to his feet. 

"Dude, you all need to chill!" 

"Um ... hey guys!" 

"WHAT?!" they all yelled. 

"You should probably turn _off _the propane valve," Buh-Buh pointed out. 

"SHIT!" The Hurricane exclaimed. 

"Super heroes don't swear," Rob said. 

"This one does! Especially since he wants to live to see his next birthday!" 

"PUT IT OUT! PUT IT OUT!" Bischoff shouted as he ran by with his hair still on fire. 

"GET AWAY FROM HERE!" Hurricane attempted to pounce on Bischoff but changed his mind once he caught a better glimpse of Bischoff's head. 

Coincidentally, Eric tripped over a piece of coal on the ground and hit his head on the edge of the grill. 

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!' 

*BOOM!* 

**After the smoke cleared ...**

"M - My hair! My beautiful full head of gorgeous hair!" Bischoff ran around in circles shrieking his head off and covering his head with one hand, while the other waved frantically in the air. 

"See! You should have turned it off," Buh-Buh muttered as he took off his glasses. 

"Dude!" Rob stated, as he and Jeff stared at the place where there once was a barbecue. 

"That was ... cool!" Jeff exclaimed. 

"COOL! YOU THINK IT WAS COOL?! THAT WAS NOT COOL! COOL WOULD BE ME HAVING ACTUAL SUPER POWERS!" The Hurricane ranted on and on hysterically. 

"You guys are idiots. Hey, where's the barbecue?" Edge asked. 

Everyone looked around to see where it was. Everyone except Bischoff who was still running around like his hair was still on fire. That stopped abruptly when he fell into a deep hole. 

"Ow." 

Everyone gathered around and stared at the twisted Bischoff that lay before them. 

"Do I get any help?" he asked. 

The Hurricane, Steph, and Shane climbed down to see how Eric Bischoff was. 

"Who could have created such a hole?" Hurricane scratched his head in bewilderment. 

"His parents of course," Stephanie stated. 

"I mean the hole we're in!" 

Stephanie looked at Bischoff, then at the hole they were presently in, and then back at Bischoff. "Oh!" 

"So, it is true. You don't have any _real_ super powers," Shane said. 

"Hehe, why would you say that? Of course I have ultimate super powers. You saw me fly over the barbecue earlier. If you really don't believe me, ask my close friend, Gregory Helms!" 

"And how would you describe him?" Shane asked, raising an eyebrow. 

"He's a charming, witty, funny, intellectual, handsome, courageous, pure hearted man!" 

"Right ..." 

"YES! I knew you would be here!" 

"NOT YOU!" Shane backed away, tripping over Bischoff. 

"YES, YES, YES, YES, YES!" ArticFox screamed as she pounced on top of poor Shane. "You may have escaped the first time I captured you but I assure you, it won't happen again!" 

"NOOOOOOOOO! STEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEPPPPPPPPPPHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Shane shouted as he clawed at the ground, looking for something that would get him out of this predicament. ArticFox ignored his yelps and continued to drag him by his heels. 

~*~ 

"That was indeed a disturbing sight," Raven sighed as he climbed off the roof. 

"What are you doing up there?" Edge asked. 

"Well, nothing. So go back to your pathetic way of living while I get myself down." 

"OH, RAVEN!" said a girl from below. 

"AH!" Raven tripped and came crashing down into a nearby thorn bush. 

" *GASP!* You're hurt!" She ran over to where he had landed. 

"Thanks for stating the obvious," Raven wheezed, as he slowly pulled himself up. "Ow!" 

"You have thorns stuck in your butt," she stated. 

Raven took one look at her and attempted to run away if it wasn't for the thorns in his butt. 

"Are you trying to get away?" Sonar enquired. "You must be kidding me. Though you were never really the funny one. I know another girl that has been looking for you." 

"Agent51," Raven murmured. "And now you're going to drag me to her?" 

"Not until I get the thorns out of you." Sonar reached for one of the thorns in his butt. 

"WHOA!" Raven said, clutching his behind. "What do you think you're doing?" 

"Getting them out of course." 

"Not that way!" Raven looked around for an exit. "Um ... I just remembered. I have a dentist appointment," he said quickly. 

"WAIT! DAMNIT! He can run pretty fast in a dress." 

"IT'S A KILT!" Raven screamed. 

"Fine. Now I'm off to find my next victim from Dudleysville!" Sonar had a crazy look on her face as she scurried off. 

"Why am I the only sane one?" Edge sighed. Then he noticed someone still up on the roof. A girl with a strange animal beside her. "Who are you?" 

"None of your business but if you want to know, I'm Leah and I am definitely not a fan of yours." 

"WHAT?!" Edge gasped in shock. "But everyone loves me?" 

"That's it. Sick 'em, Smokey!" Leah pointed a finger at Edge. At first nothing happened. Then Edge noticed the strange creature jump off the roof. 

"What the-" Edge squinted. "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" 

~*~ 

"OUT! NOW!" Steph shoved all the fan girls out the door. 

"RAVEN!" 

"KANE!" 

"SHANEY!" 

"JEFF!" 

"TAKER!" 

"You owe me a hug!" 

"I SAID SCRAM!" Stephanie shrieked as she chucked her shoe at them. "Shit! That was expensive too!" Then she turned towards Jericho with a totally different expression on her face. "Hey Chris," she said seductively. 

"Uh ... are you ok Steph?" Jericho started to head up the stairs. 

"Of course I am." Stephanie shot an 'I-told-you-I-could-do-it' kind of look at the Dudley boys. "Jericho, meet me in my office. There's something I wanna do- say to you." 

Jericho stayed put since he knew what she was up to. 

Buh-Buh and Spike snickered behind him while Stephanie grabbed his ponytail and tugged him up the stairs against his will. 

"OW! OK! OK! NOT THE HAIR!" Jericho opened his eyes and saw Buh-Buh and Spike finding it amusing. He tried to release Steph's hold on him but failed miserably. 

______________________________________________________________________ 

My longest chapter! No wonder it took me so long to write. Thank-you people for reviewing and helping me out. I know Bischoff's hair should've gone up in flames much faster but what can I do? 

Please R&R! I'm aiming for at least 100 reviews before my fifteenth chapter!!! 

^_^ 


	15. Decorations, Mistletoe, and, a Corpse?

30 Days and 30 Nights   
  
**Chapter 15: Decoration, Mistletoe, and … a Corpse?**  
  
**Author's Note: **I have fans? Yay! Really hope you enjoy this one! ^_^ By the way, I do not own anyone.  
  
**Author:** hypr-angl 

_________________________________________________________________

**Day 15-  
  
**As you all know, December is a time of love, peace, and sharing ... unless you live with these people. But none the less, you have to at least get into the holiday spirit!**  
  
**"Why is Steph making us do this anyway? It's not like she cares." Buh-Buh hung up the last piece of red ribbon and got off the ladder.**  
  
**"I guess it's her way of saying, 'I've had enough'. Or maybe she's really serious about it." Trish strutted down the stairs and sighed heavily as Kevin Nash ran past her.**  
  
**"HEY, STEPHANIE!" he cried.**  
  
**"What now?"**  
  
**"Scott bumped into a ladder and the guy on it fell off."**  
  
**"So?"**  
  
**"I think he broke his leg!"**  
  
**Stephanie grumbled and followed Kevin to the injured man.**  
  
**"Ow."**  
  
**"You all right, Jeff?" Stephanie grabbed an ice pack and placed it on his knee.**  
  
**"You'd think I'd be ok. I mean, I've fallen off ladders way higher then this."**  
  
**"But you don't usually land on a marble floor." Buh-Buh pointed out.**  
  
**"You may have a point there," Jeff cringed as he stood up.**  
  
**"You know, I just wanted to get into the holiday spirit," Steph uttered. "Is that really wrong?"**  
  
**"Well, Steph. Decorating a mansion is not an easy task." Lita said.**  
  
**"A little mistletoe, ribbon and holly are all we really need!"**  
  
**"Did you say my name?"**  
  
**"No, Molly. As I was saying, just a couple of things here and there ought to make the place nicer to live in."**  
  
**::DING DONG:**  
  
**"I wonder who that could be." Steph grinned.**  
  
**"Hey, Steph," said the figure at the door, dryly.**  
  
**"Hey, Bischoff!" Steph looked at him oddly. "I-Is that a wig?" she snickered.**  
  
**"A wig? Eric Bischoff does not wear wigs. My hair is all - "**  
  
**"Ha! I've got your wig!"**  
  
**"IT'S A TOUPEE!" Bischoff growled. "Or as I like to say, an 'exquisite hair piece'."**  
  
**"Cheer up," Steph smirked. "It's not my fault you decided to give the people what they wanted."**  
  
**"And that would be?"**  
  
**"Why, you embarrassing yourself in front of the whole roster of course." Steph stopped and looked behind Bischoff. "What are you doing here?"**  
  
**"He's my partner in crime!" Bischoff announced proudly.**  
  
**"Partner? Are you kidding?!" Shane laughed.**  
  
**"I thought that was what you said on the way here?"**  
  
**"No. I said partner in rhyme." Shane corrected.**  
  
**"Rhyme?" Stephanie stated confusingly.**  
  
**"Yeah, rhyme. We got a little out of control on the way here."**  
  
**"So you're not associating with this … thing."**  
  
**"Of course not! Like I told dad, he's a parasite."**  
  
**"I resent that!" Bischoff complained.**  
  
**"Whatever." Stephanie rolled her eyes. "So why are you guys here anyway?"**  
  
**"Official business!" Bischoff exclaimed.**  
  
**"Just to check up on you. You know, make sure no one has died … yet." Shane said the last word menacingly.**  
  
**"O … K!" Steph backed away and let them walk in.**  
  
**"Look Eric! Now you're like me!" Kurt cheered.**  
  
**"Yeah, watch out. You could be mistaken for twins if you're not careful." The Rock commented.**  
  
**Eric grumbled then gasped in shock. "WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO ONE OF MY RAW SUPERSTARS?!" he shouted as he stared dumbfounded at Jeff's leg.**  
  
**"Just a minor bruise." Jeff said.**  
  
**"If you count breaking your leg, a minor bruise." Triple H snorted.**  
  
**"As a matter of fact, I do!" Jeff stood up miraculously and punched Trips right in his nose. "OW!" Jeff shook his hand in pain. "That's one hard nose you've got there."**  
  
**"Totally not cool!" Rob said.**  
  
**"I thought Jeff punching you in the nose would get rid of you!" hypr-angl pouted and crossed her arms. "Apparently not."**  
  
**"HA!" Triple H scoffed.**  
  
**"DAMN IT!"**  
  
**While this was going on, Jeff climbed up the ladder with his newly healed leg and did a picture perfect Swanton Bomb on Triple H who really wasn't paying attention.**  
  
**"YES! hypr-angl: 4, Triple H: 0."**  
  
**"You've been keeping score?" Jeff asked.**  
  
**"It's hard not to," hypr-angl shrugged and dragged Triple H away. "By the way, I'm going to have to put your leg back the way it was."**  
  
**"Fu -"**  
  
**"C'mon, Jeff. You've caused enough trouble already," Edge sighed as he helped Jeff hop over to a nearby couch.**  
  
**"That was … weird," they all agreed.**  
  
**"Hey, Steph. Where are you headed?" Shane asked.**  
  
**"Yeah, Steph! Where?" Bischoff said suspiciously.**  
  
**"Oh, just to bug a certain tasty blond," she announced.  
  
"But you're not gay," Shane stated. He shrugged and proceeded to talk with Eric about his wig, I mean, toupee.**  
  
**~*~**  
  
**"PLEASE, STACEY!" Matt begged. He was on his hands and knees, pleading for Stacey to take part in his evil master plan to get Lita to like him again.**  
  
**"No way, Hardy! I already tried to get your attention but you never listened to a word I said to you! Besides, Jeff is my main target now."**  
  
**"Poor him," Matt mumbled.**  
  
**"So forget about me EVER helping you out with anything." Stacey crossed her arms and began to walk away.**  
  
**"What if I could help you with your little situation?" Matt called.**  
  
**Stacey stopped and considered this for a moment … "NO!"**  
  
**~*~**  
  
**Spike and Crash paced impatiently up and down the halls.**  
  
**"You coming out yet, Molly?!" Spike asked.**  
  
**"Yeah, you can't hide in there forever!" Crash added.  
  
Suddenly, the door to the women's room swung open, almost unlatching from its hinges. Out stepped Molly. And her hair was not brown. It was not blonde. And it certainly wasn't red or black.**  
  
**"Well, you wouldn't go along with us so you have to face the consequences," Spike smirked.**  
  
**"Wipe that disgusting grin off your face!" Molly ordered.**  
  
**"Cheer up!" Crash tried to pat Molly on the back but instead, ended up groaning in pain on his back.**  
  
**"HOW COULD YOU TWO?!" Molly ran her fingers through her hair which was a lovely shade of … GREEN?!**  
  
**"I think it suits you nicely," Spike commented.**  
  
**"Out of my way!" Molly shouted she as stormed downstairs.**  
  
**~*~**  
  
**Molly rushed downstairs with her hands covering her head. Everyone that passed her gave her extremely weird looks.**  
  
**"Nice hair!" Jeff shouted.**  
  
**"SHUT UP!"**  
  
**"Jeez, no one can accept a compliment around here."**  
  
**"GREEN!" Nowinski gasped.**  
  
**"Look at me!" Molly cried.**  
  
**"I am!" Chris seemed oddly intrigued by her new … look.**  
  
**"I-I want my hair brown again. Or at least blonde!"**  
  
**

"There, there." Chris comforted Molly and took her upstairs but not without winking at the guys and giving a thumbs up.**  
  
**~*~**  
  
**Jericho snorted loudly and turned over in his bed. His arm landed on another body and he freaked out.**  
  
**"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" He screamed and toppled out of his bed. He stared back at the pleased figure and screamed again.**  
  
**"What's wrong, Jericho?" Stephanie asked innocently.**  
  
**"Y-Y-You are in my bed … naked!"**  
  
**"Yeah, so?"**  
  
**"Did we -"**  
   
**"Yes, Jericho. And might I add, you were wonderful!"**  
  
**"EEEEEKKKK!" Jericho abruptly fainted and now lay on the ground, twitching.**  
  
**"I was just kidding, Jericho!" Stephanie giggled. "Jericho? … JERICHO?!" she yelled as she poked his ribs. "Th - this isn't funny! C'mon, get up!" **  
  
**Stephanie panicked and grabbed Jericho's … corpse. She quickly got him in a bag and heaved him out the window. It was freezing outside. Luckily he was wearing his boxers. Though it wouldn't have mattered anyway. **  
  
**"The dead can't feel the cold. What have I got to worry about," she said confidently.**  
  
**~*~**  
  
**"HEY GUYS!" Stephanie shouted nervously as she walked down the marble steps. She waved at them tensely and found herself sweating.**  
  
**"Did you have fun with your … tasty blonde?" Bischoff said the last word and licked his lips. "You know Steph, I happen to know two ladies that would love to -"**  
  
**"Get bent!" She fingered him and proceeded to head outside until …**  
  
**"Hey, where exactly were you?" Paul Heyman enquired.  
  
Stephanie slowly turned around and made an attempt to laugh. "Hehe … oh, you know. Here and there."**  
  
**"Where?" they all asked.**  
  
**"Hehe, well I certainly wasn't throwing a supposedly dead body out a window. Nope, not me!"**  
  
**"Are you all right?" Lita asked.**  
  
**"HEY, BACK OFF MISSY!" Stephanie put a hand on her mouth and ran out the door.**  
  
**"Whoa, someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed."**  
  
**"Hey, Lita," Matt said seductively. "Look, mistletoe."**  
  
**"You know, mistletoe is deadly if you eat it," Lita stated dryly.**  
  
**"But a kiss is even deadlier if you mean it!" Matt said back.**  
  
**"You got that off an old Batman movie."**  
  
**"But it's true!"**  
  
**"Well then, to find out if mistletoe is bad to eat, I'm just going to have to shove it down your throat!" Lita grabbed the mistletoe and swung it threateningly in front of his face.**  
  
**"Now Li, let's be sensible here. Li? I don't like that look in your eyes! LITA!"**  
  
**~*~**  
  
**"Hey, Jeff!" Stacey waved and ran towards him with a ribbon in her hand.**  
  
**"Hey."**  
  
**"I couldn't help but notice you have a broken leg."**  
  
**"No thanks to Scott Hall."**  
  
**"Do you want me to kiss it better?"**  
  
**"Whatever," Jeff replied.**  
  
**Stacey bent down, and then stopped. "Oops! My shoe is untied." Stacey turned around so that her back was towards Jeff. "I'll just have to tie it back up." She bent down right in half.**  
  
**"O … K!" Jeff squinted and opened his mouth.**  
  
**"That's better!" she exclaimed as she straightened herself up.**  
  
**"WHEN I GET MY HANDS ON YOU I'LL -"**  
  
**"Hey, Lita!"**  
  
**"Huh? Oh, you."**  
  
**"I couldn't help but notice you have mistletoe grasped in your hand."**  
  
**"I'm trying to jam it down Matt's esophagus," Lita stated proudly.**  
  
**"Right! Anyway, would it be all right if I borrowed it for a minute or two? Or possibly half and hour?" Stacey looked at the ceiling. "You know, I need to follow Stephanie's orders."**  
  
**"Fine," Lita sighed. "But return it after you're done. In the mean time, I need to find another poisonous inanimate object." Lita handed the mistletoe to Stacey who just happened to drop it.**  
  
**"OOPS! Oh, Jeff. Could you help me?" Stacey giggled.**  
  
**~*~**  
  
**"Gotta burry it! Gotta burry it! Gotta burry it!" Stephanie chanted. She shoveled out the last bit of dirt, and then lifted up the sack. "God, he weighs a friggin' ton!" she called out.**  
  
**"I'm ali -"**  
  
**"What?" Stephanie turned around, coincidently tripping her shovel and falling down. The bag hit the shovel hard. She heard a loud clank and checked the bag. "DAMN! He's still dead."**  
  
**Stephanie sighed, and then took one last look at him. Being the idiot that she was at the moment, she did not notice his sudden twitch in his arm.  
  
"Well, I better head back inside," she sighed. "I hope everyone doesn't get suspicious."  
  
~*~  
  
Stephanie slowly opened the door. To her surprise, everyone was busy decorating the place. Booker was talking with Goldust, who was arguing with Raven, who was yelling at Edge. Torrie, Dawn Marie, and Trish were comforting Jeff in his time of need. Stacey was freaking out and kicking chairs across the room. Buh-Buh was looking jealous at Trish and Jeff, and annoyed at D-Von. Lita had trapped Matt in an inescapable fortress of tables. Matt was squealing. Jeff was grinning. And the most surprising of all, Jamie Noble and Nidia were NOT making out. Instead they were picking on Tajiri for fun … then they made out.  
  
"So, guys!" Steph said nervously. "How's it going?"  
  
Everyone turned their heads at her and looked at her very gradually.  
  
"Um … hello??"  
  
"HOW YA DOIN, BROTHER?!" Hulk Hogan came out and wrapped a wrinkly arm around Steph.  
  
"EW! Brother? You're old enough to be my great grandpa!"  
  
"I'm not THAT old. I'm just … old."  
  
"EXACTLY!"  
  
"Hey, Ric Flair is in his fifty's and I still have more fans then him," Hogan stated.****

  
"That's true."  
  
"Anyway, what's with all the pretty ribbons and junk."  
  
"They're decorating the place so it looks more festive for others." Stephanie said as she removed Hogan's arm from her shoulder.  
  
"Whatever, how come everyone is here except for Jericho?"  
  
All the wrestlers swiveled their heads around and looked at Steph, waiting for her answer.  
  
"Yeah, and didn't you say you wanted to take care of a … tasty blond?" Bischoff pointed out.  
  
"NO! I -"  
  
"And wasn't it a coincidence that I happen to mention a death today?" Shane added.  
  
"BUT -"  
  
"And isn't it true that your credit card is over due?" Kurt said, mysteriously.  
  
"What does that have to do with it?" they all asked.  
  
"Well … that could've been part of the madness THAT SHE ENDURED WHEN SHE KILLED JERICHO!"  
  
A gasp from the roster and everything was silent.  
  
Suddenly, Taker waddled down with something wrapped around his neck.**  
  
**"Can someone get her off me? She has a death grip locked on!"**  
  
**"But you owe me a hug!" Azrael whimpered.**  
  
**"Why?"**  
  
**"Because I didn't get one last time."**  
  
**"So?! I don't hear anyone else complaining."**  
  
**"It's not my fault I'm a little dedicated in getting what I want."**  
  
**"Well, you got what you want! Can you stop trying to choke me?!"**  
  
**"Um … ok!" Azrael released her grip around his neck a trotted off.**  
  
**"Why did you ask for our help? You obviously didn't need it," Kane said.**  
  
**"Well I -"**  
  
**"Gosh, Taker. You sure have a way with women," Kurt unwittingly stated.**  
  
**Taker growled and rose about another three feet.**  
  
**"D - Did I say Women?!" Kurt stuttered. "I meant, ah … I meant, ah … AHHHHHHHHHHH!" Kurt let out a high pitched scream and immediately ran for his life.**  
  
**Taker followed, shouting and waving his fist violently in the air.  
  
"Right, let's go back to the topic of Steph being a potential murderer." Hogan said. Stephanie glared at him and made a threatening cough. "Oh, look at the time! I have to go! Enjoy your stay, guys … while it lasts!"  
  
Stephanie quickly closed the door on Hogan's face. But out of the corner of her eye, she caught a glimpse of Jericho's hair. She slammed the door and proceeded to sweat like crazy.  
  
"Yeah, it is getting late. I should be heading upstairs now!" Steph attempted to make her way up but Kane held her up high for everyone to see.  
  
"C'mon, sis! We just want to know why you're acting to tense?!" Shane pleaded.  
  
"YOU WANT TO KNOW?! THAT'S WHY?!" she screamed as she pointed to Chris Jericho at the door.   
  
He walked in like a zombie, covered in dirt and bugs. He grunted something along the lines of "Mmmm, food." He headed over to the kitchen and opened the refrigerator. "brains," he stated as he pulled out a huge sandwich. "White blood." To Kurt's horror, Jericho drew out the carton of milk. He unscrewed the lid and started to drink the milk … from the jug.  
  
Kurt let out a loud scream and ran so fast that even Taker couldn't keep up with him. The milk-loving gold medalist freak pounced on Jericho. Zombie or not.  
  
"YOU EVIL FIEND!" he screeched, which is pretty hard for a guy.  
  
"What the hell is your problem, assclown??!" Jericho hollered.  
  
"Wait, zombies can't talk." Kurt cocked his head to one side and leapt off of Jericho.  
  
"I'M NOT A ZOMBIE!" he announced.  
  
"Obviously, hehe," Stephanie laughed. Then she tried to make a run for it but Kane had a tight grip on her arm. "Do you mind?"  
  
Kane grunted and let her go.  
  
"WAIT!" Jericho walked up to Stephanie and stared deep into her eyes.  
  
"Yes, Jericho?" she said flirtatiously.  
  
"Who did it?"  
  
"What?"  
  
"Did this!"  
  
"Did what?"  
  
"WHO TIED ME UP IN A SACK AND BURRIED ME IN THE DIRTY, FILTHY GROUND?!" Jericho roared.  
  
"Um … why are you asking me?"  
  
"Because I have a feeling you know who it is."  
  
As Jericho whispered to Steph, everyone saw this as their chance to get away from the two. Stephanie eventually followed everyone.  
  
"WHERE ARE YOU GOING?! I'LL FIND OUT WHO DID THIS, I SWEAR!"  
  
"You know, boy. You're really starting to annoy me." Taker loomed over Jericho.  
  
"DID YOU DO IT?!"  
  
"Are you accusing me? No one accuses the Undertaker and gets away with it."  
  
Jericho squeaked and scurried off with Taker at his heels. And in the window was Azrael, jumping up and down with a sign that read 'GO TAKER, GO!'  
  
_________________________________________________________________  
Oh yeah! Finally finished this chap. Hope you liked it. And if anyone disagrees with my method of giving Azrael a hug from Taker can burn!!! Or get placed with the same curse Bannonluke did by Ash the Wanderer. You would know what I'm talking about if you read 'WWE Talentless Contest'. Anyway, love ya'll! Next time, Jericho gets a little paranoid about today's incident.  
  
^_^


	16. This Could Get Messy and Identity Crises...

30 Days and 30 Nights   
  
**Chapter 16: **This Could Get Messy/ Identity Crises!**  
**  
**Author's Note: **Like I said in my last chapter. Jericho gets a little too paranoid about the situation yesterday and decides to figure out who did it. Even if that means bugging the hell out of everyone. Plus something strange happens (like that's new) and it's infecting everyone. Could these two things be connected somehow? The answer: most likely.  
  
**Author:** hypr-angl 

_________________________________________________________________

**Day 16-  
  
**The Rock rubbed his eyes before totally coming to his senses. He smelt the air and cringed because it reminded him of Kurt when the milk caused him to release a huge stinkin' gas cloud that filled the room …  
  
The Rock looked over at Kurt, half expecting to see him wafting the air out the window.  
  
"What in the blue hell did you do this time, Angle?" he shouted. The smell was foul and was like nothing he had ever smelt before.  
  
"What are you talking about?" Kurt mumbled as he rolled over to face the wall. Then he paused and caught a whiff of the atmosphere. He immediately gasped for air and flipped off his bed. "What the hell! Rock, are you making pie again?"  
  
"The Rock says that the horrid smell is coming from downstairs!" he declared. The Rock paused as he was about to leave the room. "Are you insinuating that The Great One can't bake pie?" The Rock raised an accusing eyebrow.  
  
"No! I just thought - "  
  
"The Rock couldn't care less of what you thought!" He turned around and stomped out the door.  
  
"Jeez. What's up his shorts?" Kurt muttered as he woke up Austin and followed Rocky.  
  
~*~  
  
"I've been working in my kingdom. All the live long day!" Jericho sang as he flipped his burnt pancakes.  
  
"WHAT?!"  
  
"Oh, hi guys! Want some?" Jericho flashed a scary grin as he held out a plate of what looked like flat fragments of coal.  
  
"The Rock demands to know what exactly that is!"  
  
"Pancakes silly!"  
  
"And you expect us to eat those, WHAT?!"  
  
"Sure! I made them just for you!" He set a plate on the table and smiled his somewhat pearly whites at them.  
  
Kurt shrugged, sat down, and almost instantly started gnawing away at the pancakes. The Rock and Austin eventually gave in and joined the Olympic dork.  
  
"So … let's talk!" Jericho suggested. "Have you seen anybody say … suspicious around here lately?"  
  
"Why?"  
  
What?!"  
  
"Milk?"  
  
"Oh, just wondering." Jericho twiddled his thumbs and whistled another annoying tune.  
  
Suddenly, they all heard a loud thump from above them. They looked up and dust flew off the lamp on the ceiling.   
  
"What - "  
  
"The - "  
  
"Blue hell - "  
  
"I have kitten named Bob."  
  
The three semi-sane ones turned their attention towards Kurt.  
  
"Uh … he likes milk!"  
  
"Whatever, jabroni. I just want to what's going on up there." The Rock got out of his seat and proceeded to walk upstairs. He stopped when he spotted Brock Lesnar waddling down with his agent close behind. But Brock looked different. He had combed his hair (if that was possible) and had one hand behind his back. His chin was up and he had a rather disgusted look on his face.  
  
"What is all this nonsense?" Brock uttered. "And what is that foul smell?"  
  
"And what's up with you?" Kurt asked.  
  
"What do you think?" The Rock said slapping Kurt upside the head.  
  
"Um … is that a trick question?" Kurt paused and lowered his head. "OH! He's taken too many shots to the head, right?"  
  
"WHAT?!"  
  
"And now he's acting like William Regal, right!"  
  
"No shit Sherlock," The Rock muttered. "What have you done now, Heyman?" he sighed.  
  
"Well, it's not so much me as it is the banana peel." Heyman looked at the ceiling while everyone waited for him to continue.  
  
"What?! A banana peel? WHAT?!"  
  
"How original," The Rock almost didn't want to hear it.  
  
"Ok. So it was me," Heyman confessed. "But you know how fat and ugly I am."  
  
"Did you just say that?" The Rock asked.  
  
"Me? No! It just … popped out. Anyway, like I was saying, I can't help looking like a beached whale every time I go to sleep - WAIT!"  
  
"That's it, Heyman! SUFFER!" Hypr-angl cackled as she scurried away.  
  
"Right. First of all, I'm not fat, ugly and I do not resemble a beached whale. Secondly, The banana peel was from me getting slightly hungry. And lastly, the story:  
  
"I was waking up, unaware of the rumbling in my gut. I saw Brock man-handling The Hurricane. That's when I felt a bit famished. I searched around for a bite to eat. Miraculously, I found a banana on the desk. I casually threw the peel on the ground. Coincidently, Brock ran over, tripped and crash into the closet. Once in the closet, a chain of items going from lightest to heaviest started falling on Brock's noggin."  
  
"OK! We don't need your life story!" The Rock interrupted.  
  
"Want a pancake?" Jericho offered with a wide grin.  
  
"EW! How revolting! Get the bloody thing away from me!" Brock cringed as he pushed the pancakes away.  
  
"I'll have one!" Heyman grabbed a stack and gobbled it down like the OVER-GROWN PIG he was. "I RESENT THAT!"  
  
"So … " Jericho suddenly pounced on the table and grabbed Heyman's tie. "WHO DID IT?? WAS IT YOU?!"  
  
"NO, SIR!" Heyman retrieved his tie and started stuttering like an idiot. "I - I - I d - don't know what y - you mean Jericho! Honestly!"  
  
Jericho crawled off the table, keeping a fixated glare on both Heyman and Brock/Regal.  
  
"I'll find out who did it. Even if it means making all of you go crazy like Brock! MWAHAHAHAHAHA!"  
  
"So you put the banana there!" Heyman gasped.  
  
"And I'd do it again if I had the chance!" Jericho cackled as he grabbed a sandwich from the fridge and proceeded to run, laugh, and act stupid.  
  
"That guy has major problems," The Rock yawned. "Now The most electrifying man in sports entertainment is going to get back to his bed and sleep in."  
  
"What about the threats that Jericho proposed he would do if no one confessed! Should we take him seriously?!" Kurt panicked and started running around in circles.  
  
"Since when did anyone take Jericho seriously? WHAT?!" Austin exclaimed.  
  
~*~  
  
It was early in the morning. The scene had woken up some of the lighter sleepers in the mansion. Test being one of them.  
  
Test opened his eyes and snorted. He got up and found a bundle of hay next to his feet.  
  
"I AM NOT A HOARSE!" he shouted. Then he spotted the shiny penny next to it. Of course, he bent down to pick it up. Little did he know, that's was exactly what was supposed to happen.  
  
Jericho crept up to Test and raised Christian's conditioner high above his head. He brought it down on Test's cranium and ran off.  
  
Test woke up and shook his head. He walked slowly to the closest mirror he could find. He gasped at his reflection and ran his fingers through his hair.  
  
"I'M A BLONDE HOARSE!" he cried.  
  
"Whoa man, you've always been," Christian muttered.  
  
"Will you people bloody shut up!"  
  
"WE'RE HUNGRY!" Billy and Chuck whined.  
  
"Let me make one thing clear to you," Lance stated. "Only Americans whine about stuff like that."  
  
"Hey! I'm American!" Test shouted in a North Carolinian accent.  
  
"Hey, are you turning on us!" Christian asked suspiciously.  
  
"What the hell! What are you guys doing here?! Did Matt hit me with his laptop again? Cause I promised I wouldn't make fun of his 'Mattitude' if he stopped."  
  
"Matt?" Lance sat up and stared oddly at Test.  
  
"Did you get hit on the bloody head?!" William contorted his face like usual and walked up to Test.  
  
"I think so. I don't always land properly when I jump off ladders that high," Test replied, scratching his head. "I thought I died my hair last night?"  
  
"OH MY GOD!" Christian exclaimed. "He thinks he's that pretty boy American, Jeff Hardy!"  
  
They all turned around to stare at Test but he was gone.  
  
"This'll have to do," Test sighed as he stepped out of the bathroom with shades of crimson in his hair.  
  
"WHAT DID YOU DO?!" they shouted.  
  
"What? It's not like you guys care. I'm gonna head over to see what Rob, Edge and my annoying brother, Matt are doing. But first, I must change into some decent cloths.  
  
Minutes later, Test walked out with baggy jeans, cool sleeveless shirt and a bandana on his head.  
  
"You're not going out like that are you?" William asked while looking horrified.  
  
"Dude, chill … cool! I sound like Rob. Anyway, 'live for that moment!' " Test stepped out and ran down the halls towards his room.  
  
"That guy is messed up," Lance and Christian commented.  
  
"Where are my brass knuckles?!" Regal shouted.  
  
~*~  
  
Brock walked down into his room with Regal's brass knuckles in his right hand. He grinned menacingly at the Hurricane. The Hurricane tried to focus his awesome hurri-powers to subdue the crazy fool His screaming the last thing anyone heard from him.  
  
~*~  
  
Jeff and Rob both woke up and shook there heads. They looked around for Edge but he was nowhere to be seen.  
  
"Dude, he's like … gone!"  
  
"That's not xtreme."  
  
So the two headed downstairs to see where we was. They searched everywhere but there was no sign of him. Finally they found him huddled up in their closet.  
  
"Chill man. Wassup?"  
  
Edge didn't answer.  
  
"Dude?"  
  
…  
  
"Now he's just being weird," Jeff stated as he hoisted up Edge.  
  
Edge had in his hand, a decapitated head of a Barbie doll.  
  
"Barbie?" they both said, very much confused.  
  
"Are you all right?" the youngest Hardy asked.  
  
"Hey, Jeff? Have you seen Matt? He said he was planning some evil scheme to make me jealous."  
  
"You mean Lita?"  
  
"Silly. I am Lita!"   
  
Then Jeff and Rob noticed that Edge was wearing a short skirt and a skimpy tank top that just looked wrong.  
  
"Right …"  
  
~*~  
  
"Yo, Goldy!" Booker called as he looked around the room. He spotted Goldust on the ground with his wig in a mess and red lipstick on. "Yo man, whaz going on here?"  
  
Goldust opened his eyes and fluttered them at Booker.  
  
"Do you want some … stratusfaction?" he said seductively.  
  
"Not from you man!"  
  
"C'mon. I'm so bored. And I can't find Bubba anywhere? I need something to calm my sexual urges." Goldust purred and moved closer to Booker.  
  
"Get away from me!" Booker looked around and quickly picked up a mirror. "LOOK!"  
  
"EEEEEEEEEEK! MY COMPLECTION! I'M MELTING! MELTING!"  
  
~*~  
  
"Where's Flaire?" Triple H pondered.  
  
"WHOOOOOO!"  
  
"Ah, I hear him."  
  
Triple H followed the noise. Unfortunately, it led him to Matt Hardy. Matt had robes and all. And you could actually see his legs! EW! Like, his ankles are bad enough.  
  
"What the hell is wrong with you?"  
  
"I am THE NATURE BOY!" Matt shouted as he did his little weird dance. He took off his robes and started grabbing guys that passed by and putting them in the figure four.  
  
"All right then." Triple H backed away and started freaking out. "What ever happened to 'Mattitude??' "  
  
"Mattitude?" Matt looked confusingly at Triple H like he was high. Though he probably was.  
  
"Hey Matt," Jeff said as he walked by. Then he caught a better look at Matt's, er … grotesque outfit. "Aw man! That's just wrong!"  
  
"There you are!" Edge frowned as he walked up to Matt. "So what is this plan of yours?!"  
  
"Plan?"  
  
"Your plan of making me jealous!"  
  
"Um … I'm fifty three years old. And you think I would find you attractive, how?" Matt raised an eyebrow and looked at Edge closer. "Why am I having a conversation with Edge in makeup, high heels, and a skimpy outfit?"  
  
"I was about to ask you the same thing!" Edge exclaimed. "Except I would be the one insulting you! And I do not look like Edge! Is this part of your little scheme?"  
  
"Wait, wait! I think I can help you out," Triple H said calmly as he placed a hand of Edge's shoulder.  
  
"EW! Get away from me!" Edge screamed as he slapped Trips across the face.  
  
"Hey! You can't do that to the champ!" Matt tackled Edge to the ground and they were really duking it out.  
  
"What the hell is wrong with you people?" Triple H whimpered as he scurried away.  
  
Jeff sighed and pulled them apart.  
  
"Don't touch the Nature Boy!"  
  
"Oh Jeff! He's being a real jerk. Can you do something."  
  
Jeff grinned at his opportunity and immediately started pounding on Matt … with Edge's help of course.  
  
~*~  
  
Jericho jumped into the girls room and leaped over Stephanie's desk.  
  
"CHRIS!" Lita, Trish, Molly and Terri yelled.  
  
Jericho ignored them and continued to give Steph an icy stare.  
  
"H - Hey there. Are you all right?" Stephanie backed up and grabbed her bat.  
  
"Now, now Steph. Don't do anything you'll regret." Jericho taunted.  
  
"Um … please go!" she ordered.  
  
"But I just wanted to - " Jericho raised the conditioner above his head. He was about to strike when Lita and Trish tackled him to the ground. Molly and Jazz clung to his legs while Lita and Trish dangled from his arms. Jericho slowly made his way over to Steph, with the weapon still in his hands.  
  
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" she shrieked. "ALL RIGHT! I DID IT!"  
  
Everyone froze where they were and gawked at Stephanie's confession.   
  
"When you found me beside you yesterday, it was because I was just having a little fun. Bubba and Spike made me do it. When you blacked out, I stuffed you in a bag and threw it out the window. From there, I buried you in the ground so no one would ever know."  
  
Jericho stood there in disbelief.  
  
"Man, and I thought it was Kane this whole time."  
  
"WHAT?! THEN WHY DID YOU COME IN HERE AND THREATEN ME WITH CHRISTIAN'S CONDITIONER?"  
  
"I was going to ask if you could help me out. I had Christian's conditioner because I hit half the wrestlers over the head with it." Jericho corrected.  
  
"Oh … well, bye!" Stephanie quickly ran past him and down the stairs.  
  
"STEPHANIE!"  
  
~*~  
  
As Steph headed down, she noticed they were all acting really weird. Scott hall was sober and he was hitting on Molly with a book called 'Harvard R Us'.  Tommy Dreamer was wearing really ugly cloths and had fake sideburns painted on his face. The Big show and Taker where fighting over their identities while Kane was looking for his mask which was on the face of Rey Mysterio. He was of course; wearing red and trying to choke slam Triple H into a nearby table. Speaking of tables …  
  
"BUBBA RAY DUDLEY AND SPIKE!" Stephanie screeched. "LOOK AT WHAT YOU TWO HAVE DONE!"  
  
"Actually, it was Jericho." Bubba corrected.  
  
"It was me!" Spike declared. "The king … of the WORLD!"  
  
"YOU ARE!" Sonar jumped into Spikes arms and nuzzled up to him.  
  
"Hehe. See. The women love me," Spike grinned.  
  
"SHUT UP! JERICHO!" she growled. "TURN THEM BACK!"  
  
"I don't know how to, girl. I'm not your friggin' slave!" Chris coughed.  
  
Stephanie clenched her fist and opened her mouth …  
  
~*~  
  
"That's better," she said as she kicked everyone out of her office.  
  
"That was … weird? Most definitely not cool!" Rob exclaimed.  
  
"Have you seen my hair dye? I wanted to dye it purple but I couldn't find it. I've had my hair blond for two weeks! TWO WEEKS!" Jeff panicked.  
  
"Essay, homes! I saw Test run off with da stuff and Stacey Keibler!" Eddie commented.  
  
"WHAT?! NO!"  
  
~*~  
  
"Oh Test!" Stacey rubbed his chest and smiled at him.  
  
"I'm not Test but if you think I am then it's fine with me!" he grinned.  
____________________________________________________________________________________  
  
So. Good? Sucked? Don't care? Need Feedback.  
  
Now I know people can't switch identities but I'm trying to write humor! Give me a break!  
  
PLEASE R&R!!!!!!!!!  
  
^_^


	17. Cooking With The Un Americans

30 Days and 30 Nights   
  
**Chapter 17: **Cooking With The Un-Americans**  
**  
**Author's Note: **God help us. The Un-Americans are left with the duty of cooking dinner for everyone because they slept in. The Un-Americans include Christian, Lance Storm, William Regal and yes, Chris Jericho. They most definitely don't know what they're doing. Canadians rule … except these four. Love ya'll! ^_^  
  
**Author:** hypr-angl 

_________________________________________________________________

**Day 17-  
  
**"Why isn't anyone up?" Christian wondered as he sat up on his bed after sleeping in many times.  
  
"See. These Americans are so unpredictable," Lance commented.  
  
"Wait? Doesn't that mean Canadian's are predictable?" Christian asked.  
  
"We're Un-Americans! We're perfect!" William Regal shouted.  
  
"At least MOST of us are perfect," Lance said as he looked over at Christian.  
  
"And what is THAT supposed to mean?" Christian got up and crossed his arms.  
  
"I'm just saying that some of us could do without the constant baby act," Lance spat.  
  
"Oh yeah!"  
  
"Yeah!"  
  
"Oh yeah!"  
  
"Yeah!"  
  
"Oh yeah!"  
  
"Yeah!"  
  
"Stop it you two! Before you start bloody fighting! Now, what we really need to concentrate on is the whereabouts of our good friend, Test."  
  
"Good friend?"  
  
"Test?"  
  
They all looked over at his bed which had not been slept in.  
  
"Test is missing?" Christian suddenly heard a low rumbling. "Hehe. Anyone hungry?"  
  
~*~  
  
So the three Un-Americans traveled down to the kitchen and stared blankly at the fridge. None of them had ANY cooking or baking abilities.  
  
Then Christian spotted some burnt pancakes on the table. He sampled them and immediately spat the contents out.  
  
"You don't like them? What's wrong with you people?" Jericho asked as he emerged out from under the table.  
  
"Huh?! What are you doing here?" Lance sighed.  
  
"Listen up, junior. I've been here most of the morning trying to get away from all the guys I hit yesterday." Jericho replied as he ate a pancake.  
  
"Well, that's your fault. By the way, where is everyone this morning?" Christian enquired.  
  
"Everyone headed out to some place, uh … the mall again, I think," Jericho replied.  
  
"The mall?" Lance spat. "Typical Americans."  
  
"I agree," Christian … agreed. "Americans are nothing but fat, lazy, arrogant people."  
  
"Funny. Because the majority of the like/loved wrestlers are American," Jericho thought aloud.  
  
They glared at him for the remark.  
  
"I'm just saying! It's not my fault that most of our fans are also American."  
  
"How would you know that?" Lance asked.  
  
"What fans?" Test uttered as he mysteriously entered the room.  
  
Christian looked at Test and stepped on his toe.  
  
"OW! What the hell?!"  
  
"Stop bickering like bloody children! We came down here to eat and that's what we're going to do. Now I'm feeling quite hungry since it's 2:00 pm. Wait, what is this?" Regal pulled of a note on the fridge that read:   
  
_Dear Canadians,   
  
I am sorry to inform you four, wait, five with __Jericho__ … that we have gone to the mall without you. I only ask one thing of you people. I really hope you know how to cook. I know __Jericho__ knows didley squat and Christian is just a baby. I'm counting on you guys to cook us some dinner. All the recipes are in the back of the cupboard. If you have any questions about when we'll be arriving, ask __Jericho__. William, YOU'RE IN CHARGE!  
  
God have mercy on our souls,  
Stephanie McMahon  
  
"We don't know how to cook," Test uttered.  
  
"Yes, well then we'll just need to find a recipe to follow. Shouldn't be that hard." William Regal reached into the cupboard and pulled a box out. He proceeded to take a random sheet from it. "Uh … chocolate chip cookies! We should probably make about three dozen."  
  
"CHOCOLATE!" Christian screamed. "Oh yeah, chocolate rules."  
  
"Right then. First we need sugar, chocolate chips, eggs and some - "  
  
Suddenly, Christian collided into Regal with some coffee. It poured all over the recipes like … well, you get the picture.  
  
"YOU STUPID LITTLE -"  
  
"Temper, temper. It seems this group needs a better leader!" Jericho declared. "I would be happy to offer my services. I mean, who needs to get mad over a little accident like that?"  
  
"YOU WOULD BE MAD TO IF ALL THE RECIPES IN YOUR HAND GOT COVERED IN COFFEE!"  
  
"Probably not," Jericho confessed. "Why is that such a bad thing?"  
  
"BECAUSE I CAN'T READ THE DIRECTIONS NOW!" Regal burst.  
  
"Oh."  
  
"Great!" Lance sighed. "So it's true what they say about blondes being dumb."  
  
"WHAT!" Christian, Test and Jericho shouted.  
  
"You heard me. It makes perfect sense. Why do you think Stacey fell for Test?"  
  
"Like, blondes are not dumb!" Christian protested.  
  
"SHUT UP, ALL OF YOU!" Regal ordered. "We are going to cook something and we are going to cook it now!"  
  
"Dumb blonde," Lance muttered.  
  
"Dumb … brunette," Christian shot back.  
  
~*~  
  
"Now, out of what I can read, it say four eggs. Though that could be an eight." Regal narrowed his eyes down at the soaking paper.  
  
"We better stick with eight. The more the better!" Christian exclaimed.  
  
"It's the more the merrier!" Lance corrected. "Can't you get anything right?"  
  
"Shut up! I know what I'm doing."  
  
"Really?" Storm raised an eyebrow and snickered. "Is that why Stephanie classified you as a baby?"  
  
"I AM NOT A BABY!" he whined as he threw a mini-tantrum on the floor.  
  
"Listen up!" William turned around to scold the both of them when his mouth dropped. "WHAT DO YOU BLOODY THINK YOU'RE DOING YOU MISERABLE LITTLE TOE RAG?!"  
  
Jericho was standing there, amusing himself by juggling eight eggs high in the air.  
  
"See. Let's see George W. Bush do this!" he laughed.  
  
"STOP IT!"  
  
"What?" For a split second, he took his eyes off the eggs. One fell on the floor and he fell head over heels. The rest of the eggs splattered all across the ground.  
  
"You idiot! We only have one egg left you moron!" Test said.  
  
"Whoa, calm yourself down horse-boy. It's not big deal. I totally meant to do that!" Jericho assured. Then he flashed a two cent grin at them.  
  
"Fine. Just give me the damn egg!" Regal huffed as he snatched it out of Christian's hand. He grabbed both ends and cracked it open. Of course, he wasn't careful and got a handful of shells in the bowl.  
  
"Now we need … 2 c~p (cups) of f~u r (flour)?"  
  
"Let me see that!" Jericho ordered. "What the hell is CP supposed to mean? What kind of an assclown wrote this?"  
  
"CP could stand for two crippled pots," Christian suggested.  
  
"What the hell??"  
  
"Then crippled pots it is!" Jericho exclaimed as he rummaged through the cupboards. He pulled out two old pots. One small and one big. "Will this do?"  
  
"That'll be fine, Jericho," Regal said as he placed them on the counter. "Now what will be going in these crippled pots?"  
  
"Fur!" Christian stated.  
  
"Fur?"  
  
"That's what it says!"  
  
"Fur could stand for … Fucked up raisins!" Test shouted.  
  
"Fucked up raisins??" The group looked at him uneasily but went along with it since they weren't in the mood for thinking.  
  
So the Un-American's got a bigger bowl and dumped in two crippled pots filled with fucked up raisins. Then William checked back at the soggy list and shook his head. "Two crippled pots of fucked up raisins? No wonder Stephanie made me in charge of these bloody ignoramuses."  
  
"What was that?" they asked.  
  
"Nothing, just trying to figure out the rest of this. Next is … 1 & a quarter tsp. of b ~ n  s ~ d (baking soda)."  
  
"Bn and sa?"  
  
"Well?" Regal placed a hand on his forehead and thought for a moment. " … Brown sand."  
  
"Original, Regal. __Real original," Test sighed._

  
"I'm trying to figure this out!" he shouted.  
  
"I don't think sand is edible. Besides, where are we going to find sand?" Jericho pondered.  
  
"At the beach."  
  
"WE DON'T HAVE THE TIME!" Regal burst.  
  
"I think you're going to pop a vein or something if you don't calm down. Seriously," Test said as he tried to help Regal.  
  
"So, what are we cooking/baking after these?" Lance asked.  
  
"How about chicken!" Christian suggested.  
  
"No way, pasta is the way to go," Lance corrected.  
  
"Chicken!"  
  
"Pasta!"  
  
"Chicken!"  
  
"Pasta!"  
  
…  
  
**Hours later …  
  
**"5:00 pm. They should be home in, like, an hour or so," Christian uttered.  
  
"Typical blonde," Lance muttered.  
  
"What?!"  
  
"You heard me!"  
  
They both started rolling on the ground, tugging and biting each other. That is until Test and Jericho separated both of them.  
  
"Get a grip you two!" Jericho ordered. "AND YOU, STOP BAD-MOUTHING US BLONDES!"  
  
"Everything I say is the truth," Lance grinned.  
  
Now Regal and Test had to hold them back.  
  
::Ding dong::  
  
"NOW?!" Regal ran to the door and hesitantly opened it. All the wrestlers came in and headed straight for the dining room. "R - Right this way people," he stuttered.  
  
"What's with all the trembling, boy? You did get our food ready?!" Taker demanded.  
  
Regal nodded quickly and ran into the kitchen to fetch the others.  
  
"I think this is the first time we've ever ate dinner together," Jeff realized.  
  
"We're like one big happy family!" Kurt exclaimed.  
  
Jeff looked at him and moved his chair elsewhere. The only people willing to go next to Kurt were Jericho and The Rock. Of course they only bugged the hell out of him.  
  
"So, what did you guys cook us while we were out?" Stephanie asked.  
  
"It's a surprise!" they said, giving each other signals to bring out the food.  
  
Test, Lance, and Christian ran into the kitchen and came back with huge bowls of delicious smelling food.  
  
Edge looked at the contents of the bowls and cocked his head to one side.  
  
"Isn't that KFC?" he asked.  
  
"And that really resembles McDonald's fries," Rikishi commented as he tasted one. "Yep! Most definitely."  
  
"Ok, so we couldn't cook everything before you guys arrived. So we went out and ordered this stuff," Regal cleared up as he gently placed his napkin on his lap.  
  
"Eh, can't argue with that." The whole table agreed and dug into chicken, rice, fries, sushi and other delicious food items.  
  
Stephanie whipped her mouth with her napkin and got up to leave the table. Coincidently, Kurt bumped into her on his way back from getting his milk. And if we know Kurt correctly, he likes to walk around with jugs of milk. Another fatal coincidence is the fact that the jug was open. The reason for that was Kurt just happened to check to see how much milk was actually left. Kurt fell forward, right into poor Steph.  
  
"KUUUUURRRRRTTTTTTTTTT!" she screamed as she looked at her cloths. "YOU MORON!" Stephanie proceeded to strangle the life out of Kurt. With both hands on his neck, she threw him onto the table. Kurt desperately gasped for air.  
  
"P - Please!" he wheezed. "Need … AIR!"  
  
Strangely enough, Chris Benoit was the one to get Stephanie off. The reasons for his actions were clear. He then started beating the shit out of Kurt, stuffing the closest food item down his throat.  
  
"FOOD FIGHT!"  
  
Somehow, the whole group got into a wild frenzy and started chucking food here and there. Stephanie, being the hysterical one, ran into the kitchen and gasped as she stared in horror at the sight in front of her.  
  
"H - Hey Steph," Lance and Christian grinned sheepishly and removed their hands form each others throats. "We'll leave." And so they did.  
  
"EEEEEEEEKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!" Stephanie shrieked her brains out and pulled at her hair. "What have you done to the kitchen?!"  
  
"Um … it needed remodeling anyways," the Un-Americans said.  
  
The kitchen was disastrous. The floor was covered in flour and chocolate chips. The cupboards were open and their contents scattered everywhere. Bits of dough plastered the ceiling and drooped down like uh … silly putty.  
  
"Look … at … what … you've … done!" Stephanie said through gritted teeth.  
  
"What? That??" The Un-Americans tried to smile but failed miserably.  
  
"So we didn't do the best job ever - "  
  
"What did you make?" Jeff asked as he plugged his nose and almost gagged.  
  
"Would you believe chocolate chip cookies?" Test said.  
  
"It's believable," Paul Heyman replied.  
  
"Hey!" Jericho uttered as he turned his head around to face the group. "Anyone want pancakes?"  
  
~*~  
  
So that night didn't go so well. None of them have so far. Stephanie made the four responsible to clean up every nook and cranny of the kitchen, including the bathrooms. The only thing that kept everyone awake was the pathetic squabble between Lance and Christian.  
  
_________________________________________________________________  
  
I know the ending sucked and this was probably one of my not so very funny chapters but it's getting harder to come up with new ideas. Too short. Anyway, pwease review. It would be much appreciated. I'll try to be funnier in my up coming chapters. I need to update more often too.  
  
Toodles! ^_^  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
No review = No chapters


	18. Looks and Books

30 Days and 30 Nights   
  
**Chapter 18: **Looks and Books  
  
**A/N:** Ok, I'll try to update more often but inspiration hasn't struck me like it did before. Anyway, I don't own stuff, etc., etc. Use the force!**  
  
Author:** hypr-angl  
  
________________________________________________________________  
  
**Day 18-  
  
**Jericho sat up in his bed and stared over at the other guys. Of course, they were still asleep and probably wouldn't have noticed he existed, even if they were awake. So Jericho made his way downstairs where he only saw ten or twelve guys doing exactly what he felt like doing. Nothing!  
  
"Hey Jericho," Booker said. He was obviously too bored to call him a sucka or have Goldust go crazy on him. Beside Booker, Goldust lay on the floor -scrunched up like a sleeping dog. He took one look at Jericho and snapped at him. Booker pulled the leash back and Goldy whimpered.  
  
"Pathetic," Jericho said under his breathe.   
  
"Jericho!"  
  
"What is it Steph?" he sighed.  
  
"I have a favor to ask you." Stephanie took some money out of her purse and handed it to Jericho.  
  
"So you've finally seen the light," he grinned.  
  
"Oh, get over yourself. I was wondering … no, ordering you to go out and get something entertaining. My superstars are bored and you need to do something about it."  
  
"But I don't work for you," Jericho reminded as he counted the money. "Jeez, what the hell do you want me to buy with $2000?"  
  
"I don't care. Buy the circus if it will get MY superstars out of their foul moods. It makes no difference. And you better get something or I'll have my father fire you," Stephanie declared.  
  
"Yeah right. I'm the King of the World. You can't fire people of my status!"  
  
"Fine," Stephanie replied calmly. Then out of her pocket, she pulled out a cell phone. "All I have to do is accuse you of some heinous crime and your ass is fired."  
  
"OK, ok! I get the point." Jericho put his jacket on and stormed out of the house.  
  
"That's better." Steph smirked as she turned around, only to find Boooker holding on to the leash while Goldust snarled and growled at the General Manager of Smackdown.  
  
"Down … boy, down!" Booker called as he yanked the leash.  
  
"Yipe!" Goldust cried as he fell back and hid behind the chair.  
  
"Oh god." Steph buried her head in her hands and continued walking.  
  
~*~  
  
"What's wrong with Goldust?" Edge asked as he lowered his sunglasses.  
  
"Dude, he needs to chill. Acting like that can do some serious psychological damage to people like … me," Rob commented.  
  
"He's has issues. Big ones if I'm correct," Jeff added.  
  
Edge and Rob looked and him from their chairs and Jeff looked back.  
  
"What?! You mean I can't be right once in a while?" Jeff said and he continued to watch the freak show that was Goldust.  
  
"Man, Test sure is lucky," Rob sighed as he watched Test with his biggest testicle, Stacey.  
  
"You're testicles have really improved since I last checked," Stacey squealed.  
  
"Hah! Test? Fans?! Hah!" Edge and Rob laughed.  
  
"What fans?" Stacey gave them a confused look and shrugged as she sat on a couch with Test and nuzzled up to him.  
  
"Ew! You mean she was really talking about - "  
  
"Please Jeff. Not in front of the losers over there," Edge hushed, pointing to the Un-Americans.  
  
Lance and Regal merely stuck their noses up higher like something died beneath them. Then they settled down in a doughnut shaped couch. Probably plotting the defeat of their next opponents.  
  
~*~   
  
"Those Americans," Lance spat. "Have they no pride?"  
  
"Look at what one of them has done to our ex-friend, Test. Turned him into some perverted, short-haired, loony," Regal added.  
  
"I heard that!" Test shouted.  
  
~*~  
  
"Ya know, Stacey did have a thing for me," Jeff said.  
  
Rob almost split his side while Edge tried to keep a straight face.  
  
"Oh please. That only lasted a day. For all we know, she was probably drugged," Edge exclaimed.  
  
"Are you saying I'm not attractive?" Jeff asked.  
  
"I really don't want to answer that," Edge snickered.  
  
"I mean, am I not cool enough to get the attention from someone like Stacey?" Jeff stood up and raised a finger in the air. "Well you know what!"  
  
"No but I have the slightest feeling that you're going to tell me," Edge sighed.  
  
"Is he going to do another speech like the brother and ex-girlfriend in the desert?" Rob asked.  
  
"No, I'm going to prove to you guys that I am the most xtreme guy in this building. And - "  
  
"Uh oh."  
  
"And that whatever I do, girls will be flocking all over just to watch me do whatever I'm about to do!" With that said, Jeff leaped out the door.  
  
"Do we have to follow him?" Rob enquired.  
  
Suddenly, Jeff came running back in. "Sorry, forgot the ladder." Jeff ran down the hall but again, he came back. "Wait, I'm xtreme. I'll find some other way to get on the roof!"  
  
"We should follow him, just so he doesn't dive head first into the chimney," Edge said as he and Rob rushed after Jeff.  
  
~*~  
  
"Molly?" Chris Nowinski poked his head in the ladies room to see if anyone was around.  
  
"Come in!" called a voice.  
  
Chris sighed at the sound of her voice and stepped in to find the Divas with their faces covered in lotion and such.  
  
"And what do you want?" Lita asked dryly.  
  
"I just - "  
  
"He wanted to talk to me," Molly said as she stood up and walked out into the hall. "All right, what do you want?"  
  
Chris blushed and got down on one knee.  
  
"Well Molly, I've been doing a lot of thinking and I've made a decision. I really hope you accept." Chris reached deep down into his shorts and pulled out a little black box. "I want you to be my girlfri - " Before Molly even noticed that his hand went down his pants, a guy from out of nowhere ran out and tackled the Harvard grad down.  
  
"AHHHHHHH! MOLLY!"  
  
The guy continued to kick some snot out of him with occasional yells of "NEVER!" Molly scratched her head. That is until Chris punched the poor guy in the face. He stumbled back and Molly went berserk.  
  
"What do you think you're doing?!" Molly asked, helping the guy up.  
  
"He started it," Chris whined as he shook his sore wrist.  
  
"And you punch him in the face?" Molly gasped. She helped the guy to his feet and asked his name.  
  
"Bannonluke," he replied.   
  
"Ok then. Now Nowinski!" Molly turned to the Harvard fool and glared at him. "What's wrong with you?!"  
  
"Yeah, what's wrong with you?!" Bannonluke added.  
  
"I - I, uh … But - "  
  
"Ow!" Bannonluke winced in pain.  
  
"Oh my god. I'm going to have to take a look at that," Molly said as she walked away with the slightly bruised Bannonluke. "I'll talk to YOU later, Nowinski," Molly threatened.  
  
Before the two were out of sight, Bannonluke turned his head around and laughed at Chris. Chris just stood there, with his mouth hanging open, trying to figure out what just happened.  
  
~*~  
  
"So …"  
  
"So …"  
  
"Read any good comic books lately?" The Hurricane asked his good buddy, Shannon Moore.  
  
"Not really," he replied.  
  
"Oh …"  
  
"Yeah …"  
  
"HEY FELLOW MATT FANS!"  
  
"Oh boy," they groaned as Matt approached them.  
  
"What is it Citizen Hardy?" Hurricane asked dryly.  
  
"Just so you know, we don't really want to buy anymore of your t-shirts," Shannon commented.  
  
"What's going on here? You guys need a serious dose of 'Mattitude!" Matt exclaimed.  
  
"What is that supposed to mean anyway?" Shannon asked.  
  
"Uh …"  
  
"I think it's Matt and attitude put together to create Mattitude!   
  
"Right, what you said."  
  
"But why would someone like yourself want to share your attitude with people like us?" The Hurricane stood up and raised a finger. "You know, instead of wasting your time on two pathetic souls such as ours - "  
  
"HEY!" Shannon protested as he stood up and opened his mouth.   
  
The Hurricane quickly kicked his foolish friends' leg and continued talking. "I mean, you could be helping people that REALLY need a dose of your attitude. I mean, there are so many people in this place that could use a change."  
  
"You are so right man," Matt agreed. "But who should I _help first?"  
  
"How about - "  
  
"The Undertaker!" Shannon said quickly. "I mean, you did beat him twice!"  
  
"I did, didn't I?" Matt remembered. He rubbed his chin and thought about it. "But what if he doesn't want my Mattitude?"  
  
"Don't worry! Taker has been ranting on all day about how he needs to change his attitude AND style," The Hurricane assured.  
  
"And maybe you could get him a pair of your gold and purple pants! (EW!)" Shannon suggested.  
  
"Yeah, but pants of such quality really only look good on people like … me," Matt pointed out.  
  
"Fine, forget the pants," Shannon added. "Why not get him a lovely shirt! Everyone looks good with your 'V1!' shirts on."  
  
"True, very true." Matt turned away to convince Taker to change his ways and adapt some Mattitude. Then he stopped, turned around, and looked at Shannon. "Where's the shirt I gave you?"  
  
"Uh … it's in the wash. I got mud on it accidentally" Shannon fibbed.  
  
"MUD?! That is an expensive shirt. Remember, I wore it," Matt did a scary 'see ya later' smile and left.  
  
"He wore it?" The Hurricane said, perplexed. "So he gave you his hand-me-downs?"  
  
"Remind me to never wear that shirt again. Even if it is just to get it dirty," Shannon shuddered.  
  
~*~  
  
On The Roof …_

  
"Jeff, what are you doing up here?" Edge asked.  
  
"Dude, I can see … uh … dude!"  
  
"Me? Oh, I was just writing stuff," Jeff answered as he continued jotting down stuff on a little pad.  
  
"What's that you got there?" Edge asked, peeping over Jeff's painted shoulder.  
  
"Oh, just something I thought up while up here." Jeff kept his head down till Edge snatched the pad away from the young Hardy and began to read.  
  
"And The Hurricane jumped over the moon?!" Edge looked perplexed.  
  
"Oh, that was something I just scribbled down. It's on the next page."  
  
Edge flipped the page and started to read. He burst with laughter and looked like he was going to split his sides.  
  
"God, how stupid is this guy?" he laughed. "I mean, no one can be so pathetic. Who is he?" Edge asked.  
  
"Read the back," Jeff told as he tried to hide his wide grin.  
  
Edge shrugged and did as he was told. " … And that's how Edge became a blonde … WHAT THE HELL?!"  
  
"Hey, calm down dude," Rob said as he removed Edge's hands from Jeff's throat.  
  
"Hey, I said I'd do something different. I write poetry so I thought I'd try to write a senseless story. And the first topic that came to mind was _why Edge iis a blonde?" Jeff grabbed his pad back and stuffed it in his pocket.  
  
"First of all, you said you wanted to do something xtreme not different. And secondly, I like being a blonde!" Edge shouted.  
  
"Oh I know that. It was just funny," Jeff confessed. "Anyway, while I was conversing with myself up here, I found something out."  
  
"And that would be?" Edge asked.  
  
"Watch this," Jeff told as he turned around to face RVD. "Dude, look!"  
  
Rob eyes bulged and he began rummaging around on the roof. "Dude, where man?! Where?! Dude! This isn't cool! Where is it dude?!"  
  
Edge looked at his crazed friend, then at the huge triumphant grin on Jeff's face. "What was the point of that?"  
  
"I dunno," Jeff shrugged.  
  
Rob sighed and stood up. "Dude, I think it got away."  
  
"That's too bad. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to jump off this roof, land on that trampoline, bounce through the window and land safely in my bed," Jeff stated proudly.  
  
"Dude, awesome. Do you think I could try it after you?" Rob asked.  
  
"I don't know. Can you feel pain?"  
  
"Uh … I don't think so," Rob answered.  
  
"Good, me neither," Jeff said as he prepared to jump. "By the way, THERE IT IS DUDE!"  
  
"What?! Where?! I won't let it get away because I'm R - V - D! Seriously dude, where?!" Rob enquired frantically.  
  
"Did you calculate your weight and landing position?" Edge inquired though he already knew the answer.  
  
"Uh … no." Jeff replied._

  
"Well, you probably should since you have no clue if you're actually going to bounce off the trampoline into YOUR room. Knowing you, you'll probably hit a wall. You to, Rob," Edge informed.  
  
"Shhhh! The women are gathering," Jeff announced as he clasped a hand over Edge's mouth.  
  
Ok, so not just women, but kids to. Just wanting to know what three guys were doing up there. The sight was very awkward. There was a guy with shades on in the winter, one that was looking for an item that doesn't exist, and another that was getting ready to jump.  
  
"C'mon Jeff, you're not really going through with this, are you?" Edge pleaded as he tried to hold Jeff back.  
  
"Sure," Jeff said as he ran to the edge of the roof. His feet almost left the roof until another body zoomed past him and jumped off, doing a picture perfect … Five-star Frog Splash?!  
  
"NO ROB!"  
  
"DUUUUUUUUUUDDDE!" Rob shouted as he fell about 40 ft from the ground. Luckily, his landing was cushioned by a nice soft bush.  
  
"He totally missed the target," Edge stated, scratching his head in bewilderment.  
  
"Good. It means I'll be the first to do this!" Jeff said as he dove off.  
  
Edge sighed and watched Jeff as he fell, bounced off the trampoline, hit a tree, tumbled off a branch, rolled through a window, and promptly collapsed in Taker and Kane's room. Just in time to watch Matt get strangled by his own t-shirt.  
  
"Now this is xtreme, ow." Jeff fainted from the blow to the tree. Matt on the other hand, fainted when Taker put his t-shirt through the shredder.  
  
~*~  
  
"So man, was that cool or what?"  
  
"Totally. This is what I meant by living for the moment.  
  
"Dude!" Rob cheered as he and Jeff slapped a high five. "Ow."  
  
"So, how is the recovering process?" Edge asked as he walked up to his deranged friends.  
  
"Slow and utterly boring," Jeff grumbled.  
  
"Now what was the lesson you two learned today?" Edge asked.  
  
"Lesson?" Rob said.  
  
"We can learn? - I mean … wha?" Jeff questioned.  
  
"You mean you guys found no moral in this story?!" Edge asked.  
  
"Well, I guess I could've learned not to jump off high things without calculating this and that, but it would just sound weird coming from my mouth," Jeff stated.  
  
"True, dude. I learned that Edge's blonde hair is really distracting. Along with the scary grin and shades," Rob added.  
  
"THAT'S NOT THE MORAL!" Edge spazzed.  
  
"Then what is it?"  
  
"The moral is, no woman is worth endangering your own life," Edge sighed.  
  
"Isn't that being selfish?" Rob enquired as he lifted his leg up on the stool. "I mean, you seriously never know what you will get in return."  
  
"You mentioned that during my brother, his ex in the desert story," Jeff noticed.  
  
"So?"  
  
"Oh well, at least I got what I was aiming for," Jeff grinned.  
  
"How so?" Edge asked as he looked around for any female life forms.  
  
Jeff took Edge's leg and collided it with his. "OW! THE PAIN! IT HURTS!"  
  
"Oh my god!" A group of girls came in and surrounded the three, trying to tend their wounds.  
  
Edge got the idea and walked away, leaving Rob and Jeff to bask in the glow of the beautifully tanned women.  
  
~*~  
  
"Please Taker, I think it looks good on you!" Matt insisted.  
  
"I don't want a black wig super-glued to my head! And this shirt reeks of your foul stench!" Taker growled as he advanced on the oldest Hardy.  
  
"Please Taker! Calm down! SHANNON! HURRIKAAAAAAAANE!"  
  
~*~  
  
"Molly!" Nowinski called. He ran around the halls, looking for his precious brunette. "Please Molly! I want to apologize!" Chris whined in the hall till he caught a glimpse of a familiar face. "YOU!"  
  
"Oh shit," Bannonluke whispered as he made a run for it, Nowinski closely behind.  
  
This time, he caught up with him and pounced. "I got you this time!"

  
"CHRISTOPHER NOWINSKI!" Molly gasped.  
  
"Uh oh!"  
  
"What are you doing?! For someone who attended Harvard you sure don't act very kind and gentleman-like."  
  
"He started it!"  
  
"Excuses, excuses" Bannonluke shook his head and put a hand on Molly's shoulder. "Ya know, he hit me really hard. I need to rest till I'm all better."  
  
"I understand," Molly said pleasantly. "You go help yourself; I'll be right behind you."  
  
Bannonluke trotted away, a wide grin forming on his face as a whistled a catchy tune.  
  
"As for you, Chris. I don't know what has gotten into you but you better smarten up before you do something you'll regret. Hurting innocent guys that don't even wrestle. How absurd!" Molly exclaimed as she stormed down the hall.  
  
~*~  
  
"There you are!" Stephanie wailed. "Where have you been? It's 9:30pm! What is wrong with you!?"  
  
"What? You said get some entertainment and I did. The King of the World promised he wouldn't displease the billion dollar ass - princess," Jericho smiled.  
  
"Oh please, so what did you bring?" Steph asked, getting extremely impatient.  
  
"Steph, meet BOBO THE CLOWN!" Jericho pointed to the door and in burst a happy clown. It pranced and giggled and let loose helium filled balloons.  
  
"Oh god. THAT IS IT! TOMORROW WE GO SHOPPING ONCE AGAIN! AND YOU PEOPLE ARE GETTING SOMETHING TO ENTERTAIN YOURSELVES! MY SUPERSTARS HAVE BEEN COMPLAINING ALL DAY ABOUT HOW BORED THEY ARE! WELL - "  
  
"Say it; don't spray it," Jericho said, shielding himself from being bombarded by Stephanie spit.  
  
"I WILL DO WHATEVER I WANT! NOW GO UPSTAIRS AND GO TO SLEEP!"  
  
"You can't order - "  
  
"GO!" she growled.  
  
"Yes ma'am."  
  
________________________________________________________________  
  
Another shopping trip?! I wonder what they'll buy to keep them busy. Oh well, that's for you to wonder. If anyone wants to take part in the next chapter, just let me know. Just need to know your name or whatever you want to be called. And the people you like and things you like to do at a mall, etc. , etc. I'll try to add more chapies sooner. Oh, and I hope you, Bannonluke, like taking part in this. You mentioned it and I answered! I hope you don't like Chris Nowinski, I know I never will.   
  
Toodles! ^_^  
  
  
  
No reviews = no chapies!


	19. The Neverending Road

30 Days and 30 Nights   
  
**Chapter 19: **The Never-ending Road   
  
**A/N:** Ok, the authors that appear or are mentioned in this fic own themselves and … yeah, just themselves. This is going to be really messed up and weird but then again, all my chapters are. ^_^**  
  
Author:** hypr-angl  
  
________________________________________________________________  
  
**Day 19-  
  
**"WAKE UP YOU LAZY IGNORAMUSES!"  
  
"Please mother, your voice sounds like a dying parrot," Jericho mumbled. "No, don't break my Fozzy CD! Anything but that!"  
  
"The Rock wants all you to shut your pie-holes!"  
  
"Mommy, the milk man is here! I can hear his siren," Kurt uttered.  
  
"WAKE UP!"  
  
"What?!"  
  
"Shut up Austin. I'm not in the mood!"  
  
"I'm not in the mood," Austin mocked. "That's the biggest load of crap I've ever heard!"  
  
"You can hear crap?" Kurt asked as he woke up.  
  
"Shut up assclown. Why don't you go shine your medals or something," Jericho spat. "What is it Steph?"  
  
"Jericho, I already stated that we were heading to the mall to buy something to entertain you people," Stephanie sighed.  
  
"The Rock wants to know why we're going to the mall if the last time we were there, these misfits - " The Rock pointed to the three across from him, " - tore up the place and were nothing but extra luggage that we should have been left in the van."  
  
"Listen up, I don't care! Remember, you were one of my superstars that were complaining all day yesterday."  
  
"It was hot and stuffy," The Rock sulked.  
  
"Let's go!" Stephanie ordered.  
  
~*~  
  
Outside …  
  
"I don't like this dude. I don't like this at all," Rob commented as he peered over his shoulder again.  
  
"Why do you keep looking over your shoulder?" Edge asked. "It's not like the boogie-man is going to jump out and bite your head off."  
  
"There's a boogie-man?!" Jeff panicked as he hid behind Rikishi.  
  
"Yo, there ain't no boogie-man," Rikishi said, moving away from the childish Jeff.  
  
"Oh, I knew that," he said, flashing a funny little grin.  
  
"I don't see why we're goin' to a different mall. Especially one that takes a day to drive to. What was wrong with the last one we visited?" Taker asked.  
  
"They banned us," Jericho announced. "Weren't you listening?"  
  
"What did you say, boy?" Taker asked.  
  
Jericho could not help but laugh before he was thrown violently into a van.  
  
~*~  
  
Van 1 - Jericho, Christian, Taker, The Hurricane, Kane, HHH (hypr-angl: GET OUT!!! You're wasting precious van space!) not HHH, Molly, Bannonluke, Chris Nowinski, Ric Flair, Heyman, Crash and Hardcore Holly, and Stephanie behind the wheel  
  
Van 2 - The Rock, Kurt, Stacey, Test, Trish, Bubba, D-Von, Spike, Steve, Eddie Geurerro, Rey Mysterio, and some referee as the driver  
  
Van 3 - Jeff, Edge, RVD, Tommy Dreamer, former NWO, Chris Benoit, Chavo Geurerro, Matt (bleh), Brock Lesnar, and HHH (hypr-angl: FINE!) with Jerry 'The King' Lawler driving. (The King: WHAT?! NO GIRLS!")  
  
Mystery Van - Authors with me behind the steering wheel!  
  
~*~  
  
In the vans …  
  
Van 1 -   
  
"So … have you seen any situations that need to be mended with the help of say … a superhero??"  
  
"For the last time, NO!" Taker replied, slamming Jericho into the side of the van, causing it to wobble a little.  
  
"It's hard to … breath!" Jericho wheezed.  
  
"Seriously, are you sure you haven't seen any suspicious looking people?"  
  
"Shut up, green boy! Or it'll seem like something worse then a hurricane hit you when I'm done pounding your head in," Undertaker threatened.  
  
The Hurricane gasped and leapt into a nearby dark corner. "The Hurricane must do something to prevent the dastardly Undertaker from causing harm to him! He must still be pissed - I mean, not happy about the last incident that involved him and I!"  
  
"Quit flappin' your gums back there!" Taker ordered. "I can still kick some Hurri-ass from over here!"  
  
"Gasp!" The Hurricane dashed to the wheel and attempted to hide himself in the compartment.  
  
"Where is that Hurri-fool?" Taker muttered as he walked by.  
  
The Hurricane sighed and rubbed his head. "Oh, bubblegum!"  
  
~*~  
  
Van 3 -   
  
"Line, line, line, line, line, line, line, line, line, line … "  
  
"Please Jeff. Can you count something other then the yellow lines on the pavement?" Edge enquired.  
  
"Sure! Car, car, car, van, truck, truck, car, pig in a car … never mind. It's just Jericho face crushed against the van window," Jeff stated.  
  
"Please Jeff - "  
  
"Calm down Edge. I'll count something that I don't see THAT often," Jeff assured. "Telephone pole … telephone pole … telephone pole … "  
  
"Aw man, I've been receiving some big negative vibes coming up," RVD warned.  
  
~*~  
  
"Hark! My Hurri-senses detect a group of evil spirits close by! Wait, why is there blood in here?"  
  
~*~  
  
Van 2 -   
  
"SHOOT!"  
  
"KURT! Stop trying to drink milk upside-down," The Rock sighed.  
  
"Hey Bubba, can you and Spike help me put an end to Victoria's evil, uh … urges?" Trish asked.  
  
"Can I help to!" Stacey begged.  
  
"Uh … me to. Just cause she bit my Testicle's nail," Test said.  
  
LONG SILENCE  
  
"STACEY! Stacey is my testicle! Jeez, you people have sick minds."  
  
 "I don't get it Rocky!" Kurt whined  
  
"The Rock doesn't give a monkeys ass!"  
  
"What?"  
  
"That's my line you sum of a bitch!" Steve hollered.  
  
~*~  
  
In a van not far away …  
  
"HOLY SHIT!" Azreal exclaimed as she bumped her head on the van roof. "Who's driving this menace on wheels?  
  
"I am," hypr-angl shouted.  
  
"We hate to tell you this girl but … you're not very good behind the wheel," Qwerty commented as she toppled over after hypr hit a street sign.  
  
"Do you even know how to drive?" Bojacky asked. "I want to be alive by the time we get there."  
  
"Uh …" hypr-angl turned around and flashed them an uneasy grin.  
  
"You can't drive!" they shouted.  
  
"I never said that. So I may be a little young - "  
  
"You're not old enough to drive a car either?" Naomi gasped.  
  
"Stop putting words in my mouth! I just … uh - "  
  
"What if we get pulled over!? Leah panicked.  
  
hypr-angl thought about that one for a minute. " … I haven't really thought about that. I just figured if a cop got close, I could change with someone who can or is old enough to drive."  
  
"Just great," they sighed.  
  
"Yeah, we're stuck with someone who has no clue where she's going or how to drive a car," Azrael stated.  
  
"I know how!" hypr protested.  
  
"Then why do you keep bumping into oncoming signs and objects?" Caitlyn asked.  
  
"I don't think the pedestrians are too happy either," Angel-eyes pointed out as she noticed a person dive for their life, out of the way of hypr-angl's crazed driving skills. "If we see Triple H, can you run him over?"  
  
"What if I spot someone that looks like Triple H?" hypr asked.  
  
"Good enough."  
  
"Right then," hypr said as she swerved the car into the next lane and -   
  
"Ouch! That's gotta hurt," Bojacky cringed.  
  
"Are you sure everyone is going to be there?" Sonar asked. "I mean, what's the point in going if our favourite superstars aren't even there!"  
  
Before anyone could add to the complaint, the car hit something and the whole group was knocked off their feet into the back corner of the room.  
  
"Sorry 'bout that," hypr apologized.  
  
"There are so many people in here! Where did you get this van?" Bojacky asked.  
  
"I found - er, someone is loaning me the car. You know. A … friend," she replied.  
  
"You stole this car?" Stiletto enquired.   
  
"Stole is such a harsh word. I prefer to say … taken without asking," hypr corrected.  
  
"Isn't that worse?" Angel Hunter asked. "Wouldn't temporarily borrowed make it sound like you're not a complete phsyco?"  
  
"Nah, I'll just say whoever's car this is lent it to me," hypr yawned.   
  
"Eh, I guess it's not that bad," Stiletto said. "On another topic, where's that other guy that you said would be joining us?"  
  
"Bannonluke? He's in the same van as Molly after his unfortunate 'incident' " hypr stated, letting go of the wheel for a split second. "God, these people run on the road like flies surrounding a dead carcass.   
  
"How is it Stephanie allows someone like Bannonluke in her house and kicks fan girls like us out?" Azrael pouted.  
  
"Maybe it's because he's a guy," hypr guessed. "Or it could have been because he faked an injury."  
  
The group of fans mumbled in the corner of the van, planning their next move once they arrived.  
  
"How long is this trip lasting?" Leah asked.  
  
"It has been 5 hours," Qwerty, Sonar and Jeff's gal confermed.  
  
"I think I heard something about this being a 24 hour drive," hypr said.  
  
Everyone sighed and dug their heads in their hands, waiting for a chance to strangle the driver.  
  
~*~  
  
Van 1 -   
  
"Why does he have to come?" Nowinski complained.  
  
"Well, I couldn't leave Bannonluke alone!" Molly replied.  
  
"Sorry, Chrissy. I guess Molly won't really have anytime to herself I guess." Bannonluke grinned.  
  
"Don't worry. I like having company."  
  
"I don't," Chris muttered to himself.  
  
~*~  
  
Van - 3  
  
"You can stop counting the clouds in the air," Edge stated.  
  
"Awww! It was just getting good!" Jeff pouted.  
  
"Hey, do you hear that?" Edge asked as he turned slowly.  
  
"I think Jeff's counting did a little more then annoy you, dude," Rob commented.  
  
"I swear I heard something!"  
  
"MATTITUDE ADJUSTMENT! WAIT … NO BROCK! NOOOOOOO!"  
  
There was a loud shriek from the back of the van, then it stopped abruptly.  
  
"Brockitude. I like the sound of that," Jeff grinned.  
  
~*~  
  
Van 2 -   
  
"Could this get any worse?" Christian spat.  
  
"Whatever. I can't be bothered with stuff like that," Jericho said nervously. "Have you seen that big oaf, Taker?"  
  
"No. He disappeared into that dark corner. Anyway, I have my own problems to worry about, to. Like if they have my conditioner. You destroyed mine after hitting half the roster with it!"  
  
"I had a good cause!" Jericho defended.  
  
"You won't have anything good once I'm done with you," Taker growled.  
  
"Please, it was just a stupid comment! I don't know any better. Don't hurt me!" he squeaked.  
  
"JERICHO!"  
  
"Yes Stephanie?" Jericho said, sighing at the fact he had an excuse not to get totally annihilated.  
  
"I don't want you messing around with one of my biggest superstars! Got that?!" she ordered from the driving seat.  
  
"Yes, yes. Of course ma'am." Jericho sighed as he crouched down with Bobo the clown next to him.  
  
"Why is he still with you?" Stephanie asked.  
  
"Hey, he's a rental! I paid for him and I really don't want that money to go to waste," Jericho complained.  
  
"I PAID FOR HIM!" Stephanie boomed.  
  
"Oh … of course you did. … Can I at least keep the monkey?" Jericho pleaded.  
  
"What monkey?!"  
  
"Bobo's assistant, Cookie."  
  
"Cookie?!"  
  
"Hyuk, cause he likes the cookies," Bobo laughed.  
  
"Can you not act stupid?" Stephanie asked politely.  
  
"Yes ma'am! I will cater to your every whim!"  
  
"He's got to go," Stephanie ordered as she pulled over.  
  
"But you can't kick out the kings loyal servant!" Jericho complained.  
  
"Hey mister," Bobo stated. "I may be a lowlife with a horrible sense of humour, that gets paid $3.00 an hour but I am not your servant. C'mon Cookie. Bye Jericho, I hope that scary lady doesn't bite your head off!" Bobo called as he disappeared into the crowd.  
  
~*~  
  
Van 3 -   
  
In a corner, Tommy Dreamer was mumbling some disturbing things to himself while rubbing his Singapore cane. Let's hope there was no connection. Scott Hall was giving the driver some advice while Kevin and X-Pac looked on in shame.  
  
"So Brock, how's life been treatin ya?" Jeff unwittingly asked.  
  
"Do I have to - "  
  
"No thanks Brock," Jeff uttered quickly. "I know it must have been fun to put Matt through hell but I'd rather not become road kill." Jeff shut up after his last words and continued to count the stars. (Yes, they have been driving for that long.)  
  
"Dude, everyone is so totally quiet," Rob whispered to the almost sleeping blonde next to him.  
  
Edge made a funny snorting sound and opened an eye. "Please Rob, it's (looks at watch) 11:30pm. Can't you go to sleep or are you just that insane?"  
  
"Is that a trick question?" Rob scratched, shrugged, and headed over to Jeff.  
  
"Great, those two will definitely be up all night," Edge murmured.  
  
"So Jeff, how's big ol' Brocky?" Rob enquired happily.  
  
"He's … quiet. I think he wants to snap my neck in half so I'm not taking any chances by asking," Jeff said.  
  
"Will you two pipe down over there?"  
  
"Well sorry," Jeff sighed, rolling his eyes. "I guess we just don't have the 'Mattitude' like you do."  
  
"Your damn right you don't," Matt said underneath his blanky.  
  
"What a jerk," Jeff uttered.  
  
"If you ask me, I'd say he needs a Robitude adjustment," Rob exclaimed.  
  
"Man, any kind of attitude would work for me!" Jeff laughed as he and Rob attempted a high five but ended up smacking each other on the head.  
  
"DUDE! Wait man, do you hear that?" Rob put his hand to his ear and listened closely. "It sounds like grinding."  
  
~*~  
  
Underneath the Van …  
  
"Ouch … ouch … ouch … ouch," HHH groaned as the van shook. Foolishly, he had, like a leech, attached himself to the bottom of the vehicle. With each bump in the road he let out a yelp of pain. Poor, foolish, big-nosed … thing.    
  
~*~  
  
Van 1 -   
  
"Molly! Look out!" Chris Nowinski shouted as he tackled her in her sleep.  
  
"WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?!" she roared.  
  
"Bannonluke was going to pour yellow paint on your head," Nowinski cried.  
  
Molly look at Bannonluke in the corner. He was peacefully resting until big, stupid, Harvard jerk woke him up.  
  
"Molly, I think Chris was having a nightmare. Do you need a night-light?" Bannonluke teased.  
  
"No, but … HE WAS GOING TO RUIN YOUR HAIR!" Chris shouted.  
  
"How could you accuse him of such a thing?!" Molly gasped. "I mean, first you tackle him for no reason, then you make rude comments about him behind his back, now you're claiming that he was going to ruin my hair!"  
  
"But he - "  
  
"SHUT UP AND GO TO SLEEP!" she growled.  
  
Nowinski shut up and scrunched up into a dark corner.  
  
"Hehe, jerk," Bannonluke laughed quietly as he hid the paint under a blanket. "Wait, WHAT DO YOU MEAN RUDE COMMENTS BEHIND MY BACK?!"  
  
~*~  
  
"SCORE!" hypr-angl shouted as the van swerved out of control.  
  
"What is it now?!" Angel Hunter asked.  
  
"Did you run over HHH?! I felt something move!" Angel-eyes asked eagerly.  
  
"No, Trips is under the Van beside us," hypr replied.  
  
"BLOW HIM UP!"  
  
"Calm down girl, you'll have your chance at him when we arrive." Angel Hunter said.  
  
"Besides, we can't blow up the van that has Jeff on it," Jeff's Gal said.  
  
"And Rob!" Caitlyn added.  
  
"And Edge!" Naomi also pointed out.  
  
"And Billy and Chuck!" Angel Hunter shouted.  
  
"Billy and Chuck are on that van?" Azrael asked.  
  
"Well, I haven't really seen them at all so I'm just assuming," she replied.  
  
"Angel-eyes has the right idea," Leah agreed. "Let's blow up the van and all its passengers!" she beamed.  
  
"Right …" hypr murmured as she swerved out of the way, not wanting to hit an oncoming pedestrian.   
  
"Anyway, so what is it you saw, hypr?" Naomi enquired.  
  
"Oh, Bannonluke simply ruined Nowinski's chance of becoming a hero in the eyes of Molly Holly," hypr grinned.  
  
"Really?!" Stiletto asked as he bounced over to the window. "How?!"  
  
"He was about to pour paint on her head when Chris tackled Molly out of the way. Quite funny, actually."  
  
"Cool," spoke the gang of crazed authors as they went back to their sweet dreams.  
  
_______________________________________________________________  
  
Eh, so It wasn't that funny. I promise next time you guys will have more fun going crazy over the cute ones, hating the nerdy ones, and doing ... stuff.  
  
Toodles! ^_^


	20. Same Old, Same Old

30 Days and 30 Nights   
  
**Chapter 20: **Same Old, Same Old  
  
**A/N:** Hey ya'll! I'm really hoping this will be one of my better chapters. Again, I don't own the great authors mentioned in this. Nor do I think they would ever act like this in real life. Anywho, love ya'll! Btw, fans will be very much exaggerated and crazy. Potential killers will also be psychotic and crazed.**  
  
Author:** hypr-angl  
  
________________________________________________________________  
  
**Day 20-   
  
**Hey, I added some people to our little road trip that I forgot to include.**  
**  
Van 1 - Jericho, Christian, Taker, The Hurricane, Kane, HHH (hypr-angl: GET OUT!!! You're wasting precious van space!) not HHH, Molly, Bannonluke, Chris Nowinski, Ric Flair, Heyman, Crash and Hardcore Holly, and Stephanie behind the wheel plus Kane  
  
Van 2 - The Rock, Kurt, Stacey, Test, Trish, Bubba, D-Von, Spike, Steve, Eddie Geurerro, Rey Mysterio, and some referee as the driver plus, Lance Storm, William Regal, HBK, Billy and Chuck  
  
Van 3 - Jeff, Edge, RVD, Tommy Dreamer, NWO, Benoit, Chavo Geurerro, Matt (bleh), Brock Lesnar, and HHH (hypr-angl: FINE!) with Jerry 'The King' Lawler driving. (The King: WHAT?! NO GIRLS!") Plus Lita driving because The King … went crazy (The King: "That's much better.")  Plus Victoria and Steven Richards the psychos!  
  
  
Mystery Van - Authors with me behind the steering wheel!  
  
~*~  
  
"P - People," hypr said, drowsily. "I'm not good at staying up till 5:00 in the morning. And I don't think any sugar cube could keep me up. And if it did, we wouldn't arrive there in one piece." hypr yawned and looked behind her to see if anyone was actually listening.  
  
"I'll drive!" Leah volunteered.  
  
"Can you drive?" hypr asked.  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"Well, it wouldn't matter anyway. Sure," hypr said as she slipped into the seat next to the wheel.  
  
Leah got up quickly and dashed over to the wheel. "If I see a person that looks like Edge, Jeff, or Trips, can I run over them?" she asked.  
  
"Uh … sure. Just as long as they're not actually Edge, Jeff or Trips. Actually, you can run over Trips, just wake me up when you plan to do so," hypr ordered as she curled herself into a ball and immediately fell asleep.  
  
"Cool, now I'm am totally in control," Leah smirked. Her smirk soon turned into a confused, distraught look. "Uh … does anyone know how to get to … wherever we're going?"  
  
~*~  
  
Van 1 -   
  
" - And so she said, not on your life! Then I said, 'You think you're soooo smart, don't you?! Then she - "  
  
"SHUT THE HELL UP!" Jericho shouted.  
  
"That's no way to talk to Smackdown's general manager!" Stephanie gasped.  
  
"Steph, you're keeping everyone awake with your stupid story about you and some other girl," Christian murmured.  
  
"I'm trying to prove a point!"  
  
"That you're right all the time," Jericho snorted. "Women."  
  
"Alright! If you want me to be quiet then just say - "  
  
"SHUT UP!"  
  
"Well, if you're going to talk to me like that then - "  
  
Everyone growled and waved threatening fists at the poor woman.  
  
"O … kay then! I'll just shut up and … does anyone want to take over for me?"  
  
Kane simply nodded and grasped the wheel. Steph sneaked away and searched for a place to sleep.  
  
~*~  
  
Van 3 -   
  
"Hey, do you have any scissors?" Victoria asked her little psychotic … 'friend'.  
  
"No honey. But I think the Hardy might have some," Richards replied.  
  
"Ok." Victoria grinned menacingly and crept towards Jeff's duffle bag. Little did she know, she was messing with the wrong guy.  
  
~*~  
  
In a van not so far away …  
  
Bojacky wriggled her nose and suddenly woke up.  
  
"That psycho bitch is going to do something!" she growled.  
  
Bojacky raced over to a window and peered out. To her surprise, she caught Victoria (the crazed lunatic) advancing on poor sleepy Hardy.  
  
"PSYCHO!" she mouthed. "She better not hurt him!" Bojacky decided she wasn't going to just sit by and watch that deranged loony go mental again. Bojacky scurried over to the front seat and woke up our tired author.  
  
"Wha?" hypr snorted as she stretched her arms out and scratched her head.  
  
"You wouldn't happen to have some rope, would you?" Bojacky asked. "And duct tape, life savers, more duck tape, lasers, and some elastics?" she added.  
  
"Uh … I can do everything except the light sabres," she muttered.  
  
"I said life savers," Bojacky corrected.  
  
"Right, then it's just the lasers. I have handcuffs if you need them," hypr said as she pulled everything out of a small duffle bag.   
  
"What do you carry in there?" she asked.  
  
"Uh … a lot of stuff," hypr explained.  
  
"Ok, how 'bout you just join me in a Victoria beating?" Bojacky offered.  
  
"Cool … why?"  
  
"Because she's about to possibly kill Jeff Hardy and all the people on that van! *GASP* What if she goes after The Hurricane?!"  
  
"Oh … cool!" hypr agreed and the two authors prepared themselves.  
  
~*~  
  
Van 2 -   
  
"Have you noticed how we have still not been freed from this chair since we arrived?" Billy pointed out.  
  
"Yeah, I can't feel my legs, arms, wrists or, let's just say I can't feel anything from the neck down," Chuck declared.  
  
"That can't bee good." Billy sighed, but then saw a sharp, shiny object in Kurt's bag. He smiled at Chuck and Chuck smiled back. "Freedom, here we come!"  
  
Kurt snorted and tucked his bag under his armpit.  
  
"EW! I'm not going anywhere near that thing," Billy said, backing away as much as he could.  
  
"Yeah, who knows what lives in those hairy arms of his." Chuck commented.  
  
~*~  
  
Meanwhile …  
  
Bojacky and hypr-angl had somehow made their way onto the roof. hypr pulled out her rope and lassoed it onto a hook on the other vans roof.  
  
"Cool, I didn't know you could do that," Bojacky said.  
  
"Neither did I!" hypr exclaimed.  
  
Slowly, the two authors made their way over to the other van. They placed themselves on the roof and looked in through the sunroof. They immediately caught a glimpse of Victoria with that scary look on her face.  
  
"AHH! SHE MUST DIE!" Bojacky whispered clawing at the window. hypr quickly pulled her back, much to Bojacky's disappointment.  
  
"We can't attack unless we have a cunningly devised scheme that is so ridiculously planned that there is no way in hell that it would work. And if it did, our asses would be wanted from every country, state, province, capital, and … city in the world!" hypr hissed.  
  
Bojacky backed away a little from this messed up author but continued to listen.  
  
"Anyway, this is what I have in mind ::low whispering that only hypr and Bojacky can hear:: " hypr whispered a supposed "plan" into Bojacky's ear. She nodded and they both hid behind a large bag. "Wait, don't you think we should get the other Jeff fans here to help us, err … subdue this crazy gal?"  
  
"Are you kidding me!? By the time we wake them up; Victoria would have already severed everyone's head!" Bojacky hissed.  
  
~*~  
  
Van 1 -   
  
Well, nothing new here. Everyone is sleeping and … sleeping.  
  
~*~  
  
Van 2 -   
  
Well, well, well. HHH had somehow miraculously made his way onto the bottom of this van. Covered in dirt and cut by rocks, he slowly climbed to a window. He held tightly on the narrow ledge, being careful not to make any sounds that would wake up his nemesis, SHAWN MICHAELS!  
  
~*~  
  
Angel-eyes immediately sat up and scrambled to the window, tripping over several bags on her way there. She quickly spotted the evil fiend and gritted her teeth. Angel-eyes rummaged around for a long tool she could use to pry off his fingers from the ledge.   
  
"AHA!" she whispered, handling a large pole. She carefully stuck a sock on the end and crawled onto the roof. While there, she noticed hypr-angl cautiously dropping a rope down. It looked like she had something heavy on the end.  
  
"What are you doing there?!" she asked.  
  
"Uh … just, you know," hypr let go of the rope for a split second and a loud thump could be heard. hypr cringed and apologized to the low cursing from beneath her.  
  
Angel-eyes shrugged and stretched out her stick, making sure that it was pointed directly at HHH. "PREPARE TO FRY!" she yelled, jabbing HHH in the back. HHH yelped and fell off. Unfortunately, he had one hand tightly secured to the van with a tight piece of rope. He looked around for his attacker. He quickly gave up and, not risking another near death fall, he hid beneath the van.  
  
~*~  
  
"I'm not that heavy!" Bojacky complained.  
  
"I never said you were!" hypr defended. "Listen, just tie up that psycho so I can have my sleep!"  
  
Bojacky nodded and crept behind the unsuspecting Victoria, sneaking a peak at Jeff in his pj's first. Then, with all her strength, she leaped on Victoria's back and covered her eyes. hypr came down and tripped Victoria, causing her to conk her head on something and blank out.  
  
Bojacky raised her hand in triumph. Then she slipped Victoria into a bag, handcuffed and all, and hypr and she made their way back to the van.  
  
~*~  
  
In the morning …  
  
"Does she have to watch us?" Stiletto asked. "Her staring is making me really uncomfortable."  
  
"Fine," hypr sighed as she slipped a sack on Victoria's head. "Now she can't stare at us anymore. Just make weird muffled sounds through the gag we put in her mouth."  
  
"I can still feel her gaze," Stiletto complained.  
  
"Yeah, Not too pleasant," Azrael agreed.  
  
"Bojacky, do you want to tie her to the roof?" hypr asked.  
  
Bojacky didn't need to be told twice. She opened the Van door (while the van was still moving) and was prepared to chuck her out.  
  
"Tie her to the roof, not throw her out of a moving vehicle! Do you know how much shit we would get into?"  
  
"I'm guessing a lot," Leah stated, pulling over.  
  
Bojacky grumbled and reluctantly tied Victoria to the roof.  
  
"Darn, can we shoot her with a silver bullet?" Bojacky enquired.  
  
"Isn't that how you kill werewolves?" Sonar asked.  
  
"Um … how 'bout not. Maybe in the mall when no one is looking."  
  
Bojacky hunched over and laughed as Leah got the van started again.  
  
~*~  
  
In the building …  
  
"Ok everyone. Try to keep a low profile. You all know how horrible these fans can be," Stephanie reminded. "And if I'm correct, there is always one or two hiding around somewhere. Waiting for the perfect chance to STRIKE!"  
  
"I don't think they're that bad," Jeff thought. "What do you have against them anyway?"  
  
"I - "  
  
"It's because she doesn't have any!" Heyman shouted.  
  
"And you do?" Stephanie laughed.  
  
"Of course I do! Any fan of the Big Show's is a fan of mine!" Heyman smiled. "Now where's the grub?" he asked, patting his stomach which unfortunately turned out looking like ripples in a pond. Luckily he was wearing a big suit.  
  
"Shut up Heyman!" Stephanie roared.  
  
"And she said to keep a low profile," Austin whispered.  
  
"I heard you!"  
  
"Oh, go kiss Bitchoff!"  
  
Stephanie clenched her fists and gritted her teeth. On her face formed a menacing look that would freeze a phoenix.  
  
"Or … take a nice hot bath! Whatever you like," Austin corrected.  
  
"Right, walk around and do whatever," Stephanie said, getting back to her speech of proper mall behaviour. "Just don't mess up anything," she said, looking directly at Jeff and Rob.  
  
"What? We didn't do anything. Taker was the one that got arrested!" they complained.  
  
"Do you have a problem with that?" Taker glared.  
  
"Please, no stupid bickering, fights, or doing something that attracts attention," Stephanie declared.  
  
"We might as well lie down and blow snot bubbles for the rest of the day," Chris Nowinski scoffed. "I will be in the library reading something for smart people like me!"  
  
"Where's Waldo would suit you fine," Al Snow laughed.  
  
"And you can read a book on the joys of parenting, DAD!"  
  
"Why you!"  
  
"Come and get me pops!"  
  
"PLEASE! Shut up, the both of you" Stephanie bellowed. "You are only here to buy something entertaining. Now you all received the money I gave you. Go buy something interesting and leave me alone!"  
  
~*~  
  
"Entertaining," Regal spat. "Like what?"  
  
"We could always buy another Canadian flag," Lance suggested.  
  
"We already have enough of those," Regal reminded.  
  
"We could buy American stuff!"  
  
"Buy what?!"  
  
"To burn it!" Lance added quickly.  
  
"Great suggestion!" Regal agreed and he and Lance headed over to a dollar store.  
  
"Excuse me madam. Do you know how much does this item cost?" Regal asked.  
  
"$2.50 Mr. Try reading the price tags once in a while."  
  
"How rude! I ought to - "  
  
"Oh Test! Isn't it just the cutest little thing?" Stacey squealed.  
  
"Uh oh," Lance gulped.  
  
"Well look who it is!" Test greeted. "My, are we looking awfully … grotesque today."  
  
"Why are you associating with this, this … AMERICAN?!"  
  
Everyone in the store held up their head to see what was going on.  
  
"See Regal. Stephanie said to not attract attention. Although, it must be hard with that dead animal rotting under your nose. Oh wait, you mean you normally look like that?" Test grinned and left Regal to blow up on the spot.  
  
~*~  
  
"Aw, Einstein, my good man," Nowinski sighed. "You and I were great. Well, I still am. I'm this world's last hope. Oh look! MOLLY - OOF!" Chris looked down at his feet and saw his laces had been untied and retied together. "Now how did that happen?" He bent down to fix his shoe when he heard a creaking noise. He turned around and "AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" All the books on the shelf collapsed on him.  
  
On the other side of the shelf, two figures were crouched down on the floor, having a nice conversation.  
  
"That was fun, Luke. Glad I could catch up with you. Can we tip anything else over onto that Harvard Prick?!" Stiletto asked eagerly.  
  
"Of course. That jerk is not going to be out for too long. Little does he know that was only phase one of many phases! MWAHAHAHA!" Bannonluke laughed.  
  
"Cool that looks like fun! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Stiletto joined Bannonluke's maniacal laughing frenzy. "I'm getting hungry. How about slipping food poisoning in his lunch?!"  
  
"Uh … isn't that being a little too hasty. We need to make Molly to explain to Nowinski that he is an inconsiderate, perverted, jerk! He still thinks he has a chance with her," Bannonluke reminded.  
  
"Right. We must prevent that dastardly bookworm from ever having Molly thoughts again!" Stiletto declared.  
  
"Right, so I was thinking - " Bannonluke leans over and explained a long, not so very well thought up plan that only the two could hear.  
  
~*~  
  
In another area of the mall, Leah had just parked the van and was now heading for the food court.  
  
"This sucks, she muttered as she trotted over to a table."Crap, I still need to ruin the life of that blonde bimbo, Edge. Can you sniff him out, Smokey?" Leah turned to her pet and it simply nodded.  
  
"Hehe, sweet, sweet victory," Leah grinned, rubbing her hands menacingly.  
  
~*~  
  
Van 2 -   
  
"They had to blindfold us, didn't they Chuck?!" Billy cried.  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Probably because they couldn't stand looking at such handsome faces such as ours," Billy stated proudly.  
  
"It's not fair. My neck is starting to feel numb," Chuck whined.  
  
*scratch*  
  
" GASP! Did you hear that?!" Chuck said, raising his head in surprise.  
  
*scratch, scratch*  
  
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" The two blondes wriggled around in their chairs furiously. Twisting around, trying to break free.  
  
"Well, you must hand it to them, these ropes are very smooth," Billy stated before the van door burst open.  
  
"God, I thought I'd never get in," Angel Hunter sighed.  
  
"It's a … girl?!" the two said in disbelief.  
  
"Well, what did you expect? Rico?!" Angel Hunter rolled her eyes and proceeded to remove the blindfolds so Billy and Chuck could see their saviour.  
  
"Saved by a fan. Just great," Billy sulked.  
  
"You're not going to use our predicament of being tied up to your advantage, are you?" Chuck enquired nervously.  
  
"What? Never!" Angel Hunter's eyes widened as she noticed the handcuffs attaching the two to the wooden chair. "Hehe, would you look at that," she giggled.  
  
"What?!" They looked down and let out a low moan.  
  
"It's alright. We can still have lots of fun!" So Angel Hunter, with great difficulty, hoisted the chair onto a platform with wheels. "See! Instant transportation!"  
  
~*~  
  
"Jeffy? Jeffy, where are you?!" Jeff's Gal (Elyssa King, actually I'll just call her Elyssa. Hope you don't mind) called. "Where could he be?"  
  
"There he is!" Naomi shouted. "And RVD is with him!"  
  
Elyssa, Naomi, and Caitlyn dashed over to them.  
  
"Hey Jeff! Do you have a girlfriend?" Elyssa asked.  
  
"I'd be honoured if you signed my forehead!" Naomi cried.  
  
"He touched my hand! I'm never washing it again," Caitlyn gasped.  
  
"Uh …" Jeff ate his skittles and looked at Rob who was pointing to himself and forcing a grin.  
  
"Dude, make something up!" Rob hissed.  
  
"Oh … hey girls, we're not really who you think we are," Jeff stated.  
  
The three stopped swooning over them and looked puzzled.  
  
"Of course you are!" Caitlyn exclaimed. "You look like them, you talk like them, you dress like them and you smell like them."  
  
"Well, yeah but we're actually robots - ," Rob uttered.  
  
"- That were sent here so the REAL Jeff and Rob could go to the pet store again and reek havoc," Jeff finished.  
  
"Really? How could Jeff and Rob make robots," Naomi asked.  
  
"Well, THEY did make them. They hired someone to," Jeff said, poking Rob in the ribs.  
  
"Ouch, oh yeah … right."  
  
"But robots can't eat skittles!" Naomi pointed out.  
  
"Uh ... this one can," Jeff stated proudly.  
  
"Awww," the girls sighed as they turned around.  
  
"Phew, good thing that's over, now let's head over to the pet store," Jeff said eagerly.  
  
"Jeff, I didn't like the look one of them gave me. I don't think they fell for it," Rob stated nervously.  
  
The two turned around quickly, but spotted no one.  
  
"Where did they go?" Jeff scratched his head and he and Rob headed for the pet store.  
  
"I knew it! Those two can't fool the trained eye of a fan," Elyssa whispered. The other girls giggled as they moved from behind the flower pot over to a pole.  
  
~*~  
  
"Like I was saying Kane, five heads are not better then three. For instance, remember Cousin Ned - "  
  
"Shhh!"  
  
"Don't shush me! I'm the older one here," Taker said.  
  
"Wait, do you hear that?" Kane asked.  
  
"What? The rumbling of your stomach?"  
  
"Right, I am hungry," Kane said, patting his belly. "There's a McDonald's over there."  
  
After ordering and finding a place to sit …  
  
"Anyway, Cousin Ned and Uncle Von never spoke to each other again. But do you know who the real winner was of the situation?" Taker explained. "Cousin Ned. Why? Because he had only - "  
  
"Excuse me Taker," called a really annoying voice. Just by the sound of his voice you could tell he was a jerk.  
  
"What do you want?"  
  
"Mattitude, version 1!" Matt did his little sign and flashed a cheesy grin. "I was just wandering around when I noticed you were just sitting here - "  
  
"What's your point?" Taker sighed.  
  
"Well, you and I don't really get along. You know, with the whole trying to inflict some 'Mattitude' on you and all."  
  
Taker ran his fingers through his hair and glared at the oldest Hardy.  
  
"Ok, ok. My point is, why don't you and I become buddies. Like Jeff and I used to be." Matt extended his hand in an offer of friendship.  
  
Taker shrugged and extended his arm. Suddenly, a crazy girl jumped out of nowhere and tackled Matt down.  
  
"NEVER!" she screamed, clawing at Matt's hideous face.  
  
"Ahhhh!" Matt shrieked and tried to get her off.  
  
"Were you really going to shake his hand in agreement?" Kane asked, looking at Taker who actually had a wide grin on his face.  
  
"Nah, once he touched my hand, I was going' to chokeslam him through the table next to us. Watching him get beat up by a girl is just as fun." He replied.  
  
"That's pretty sad," Kane said. "Should we help him?"  
  
"Um …"  
  
"OH GOD! HELP! SHE'S GOING TO RUIN MY SHIRT!"  
  
"Just wait …"  
  
*RIP*  
  
"Now we can help him," Taker declared.  
  
So Kane and Taker pulled the girl off a distraught Matt Hardy and attempted to calm the fool down.  
  
"Don't hyperventilate on us, Hardy boy." Taker ordered.  
  
"M - My shirt!" he cried, falling to his knees.  
  
"Serves you right, jerk. Favourite child," she spat. "That's a load of crap."  
  
"Bully," Matt sulked.  
  
"Oh, you can get another shirt! Just take back the one Shannon Moore has. Oh wait, he burnt his," the girl said, smirking.  
  
"Who are you and why did you ruin my shirt?!" Matt sobbed.  
  
"I'm hypr-angl. The semi-leader of my group of crazy fan girls," hypr stated proudly.  
  
"There's more?" Kane asked nervously.  
  
"Of course! I invited them. I asked. They came. Simple as that," hypr grinned.  
  
"What kind of a name is hypr-angl?" Taker enquired.  
  
"What kind of a name is Undertaker?" hypr shot back.  
  
Taker glared at her and tightened his grip on her shoulder.  
  
"Ouch, it's a very nice - Ouch! - name Mr. Undertaker, sir! OUCH! YOU CAN STOP DISLOCATING MY SHOULDER!"  
  
"That girl is crazy," Matt informed, backing away.  
  
"Well I wouldn't be trying to kill you if you didn't act like such an egomaniac!" hype said. "Can't you be more like Jeff? And change those pants. *gag* seriously, purple and gold. Ick!"  
  
"What's wrong with my attire?" Matt said, looking down.  
  
"Never mind. You keep doing what you were doing. I'll just follow you and wait for a chance to trip or 'accidentally' make you hurt yourself." hypr smiled and walked over to Kane and Taker. "Hey, I would like you guys to meet some people. People? What am I saying? I mean fans." hypr motioned for two girls to come over.  
  
"Hey," Azrael greeted.  
  
"Hey Kaney! Remember me?" Qwerty squealed.  
  
Both looked utterly confused as the girls sat down.  
  
"Right. You people have fun. I need to make Matt lose his touch with all that is sane." hypr-angl grinned and skipped away like a girly-girl.  
  
The four sat there for a couple of moments. Just kind of staring into space until -   
  
"So, do you like fire?" Qwerty asked.  
  
Kane tilted his head and stood up.  
  
"I guess so," Qwerty said as she tried to link arms with the big, red, silent, machine. "I know a nice little store that sells matches and lighters."   
  
Kane grumbled and followed Qwerty.  
  
"Um ..." Azrael looked up and down. Taker just stared at whatever he was staring at. She slowly took a sip of her coffee and continued to sit there ... sitting.  
  
In the background, Sonar was squealing and chasing Raven around the mall.  
  
"C'MON RAVEN! YOU SAVED MY LIFE! I NEED TO REPAY YOU!" she cried.  
  
"NO THANKS! REALLY! YOU'RE THANKS IS GOOD ENOUGH!"  
  
Azrael stood up and waved her hand in front of Taker's face.  
  
"Whoa, he looks completely stoned. Um … I'll come back later when you're in a talking mood," Azrael said, walking away. "Hm, maybe I can bug Jericho. He's always in a talking mood. Even when he's not being talked to."  
  
~*~  
  
"Ow," Nowinski rubbed his head and sat down on a nearby bench, trying to figure out the events that occurred hours ago. "There's no way those books could have thrown themselves at me. But who would want to hurt a smart young lad such as myself?"  
  
"3 ... 2 ... 1!"  
  
*BOOM*  
  
The bench Nowinski was seated on blew up, throwing the Harvard grad across the mall where he laned on none other then Molly Holly.  
  
"CHRIS NOWINSKI!" she roared, throwing Nowinski off her. "What do you - AH! My shirt!" Molly looks horrified at the dirt stains and blood stains on her shirt.  
  
"Wha?" Chris said, still dazed from the explosion.  
  
"YOU RUINED MY SHIRT!"  
  
"Isn't that the shirt you always wear?"  
  
*SLAP*  
  
"Ugh."  
  
~*~  
  
"Smart move Nowinski," Stiletto laughed.  
  
"Poor Molly. Now her shirt is ruined," Bannonluke sighed.  
  
"Eh, you can buy her a new one," Stiletto said.  
  
"Oh yeah, seeya!" Bannonluke raced down and immediately offered to buy her a new shirt.  
  
"Right ... I'll just stay here and think up more diabolical scheme that will devour this planet into oblivion," Stiletto said dryly while scratching notes down on his hand. "I wonder if all this ink is bad for me."  
  
~*~  
  
"Jeez, this isn't fun," Edge said as he sat down next to Rey.  
  
"Well Edge, I'm going to have to leave ya. Need to buy a new mask." Rey waved goodbye and ran off.  
  
"Do they even sell WWE masks in this mall?" Edge shrugged and kept walking. Peering over his shoulder from time to time.  
  
"Shhh! He'll hear us!" Leah hissed.  
  
Edge swivelled around and was completely silent.  
   
"Great, now he knows we're following him!" Leah sighed. "CHARGE!"  
  
Out of nowhere, Edge was attacked from both sides. Everything got dark and the last thing he heard was an evil cackle emanating from all around him.  
  
~*~  
  
Ok, I'm just going to tell you people what happened for the rest of the day.  
  
Bannonluke bought Molly a shirt and she bought him ... ice cream.  
  
Stiletto thought up more evil plans while playing videogames.  
  
Azrael discovered what really scares Jericho ... BUNNIES!  
  
Caitlyn, Bojacky, Elyssa and Naomi are still following Jeff and RVD. Waiting for the perfect chance to strike.  
  
Qwerty had a delightful conversation with Kane about masks, microphones and fire.  
  
Sonar continued to chase Raven until the guy was cornered. She then tied him up in a sack. His whereabouts are unknown. She also hunted down the NWO, Spike and Eddie. No one knows where they are either.  
  
Leah and her pet, Smokey, hunted down Edge. His whereabouts are also unknown.  
  
Angel-eyes continued poking HHH with a large pole till he eventually figured out what was going on. Angel-eyes' whereabouts are unknown.  
  
Angel Hunter gave Billy and Chuck a personal tour of the mall. Even though she had never been there before. Oh well, it was fun for her anyway.  
  
And I, hypr-angl, continued to make Matt Hardy lose his mind and all that is sane about him. Which isn't really much if you think about it.  
  
~*~  
  
Near the end of the day ...  
  
"Will all wrestlers please make their way down to the main hall. I repeat, will all wrestlers please make their way down to the main hall," announced the voice on the overhead.  
  
The wrestlers headed towards where they were told.   
  
"This was fun," Leah said, a wide smirk appearing on her face.  
  
"Where's Taker? I hope he's not totally brain damaged," Azrael wondered. "Oh well, look Jericho! A bunnie!"  
  
"AHHHHH! IT'S ALIVE! WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE!" Jericho screamed as he ran up an artificial tree.  
  
"Molly, I swear, I didn't mean any of the things you thought I said. My lips weren't even moving!"  
  
"Chris! Are you calling me a liar?!" Molly gasped as she walked away.  
  
"No, I'm calling you a hairy ape cause you smell like one, look like one, act like one - "  
  
"CHRISTOPHER NOWINSKI!" Molly said, appalled. "How dare you - "  
  
"It wasn't me! HONEST!" Chris cried.  
  
"It sounded like you so of course it was you!"  
  
"Hehe, she's going to crack any moment," Stiletto snickered. "Then Nowinski will be nothing but a shell of whatever he was before."  
  
"You mean a slimy, old, perverted, talentless jerk?"  
  
"Yes. A slimy, old, perverted, talentless jerk!" Stiletto said.  
  
"Hehe, soon Molly will realise that he only wants to do the bad thing with her," Bannonluke laughed evilly.  
  
"Wouldn't it be easier if we just told her that?"  
  
"Uh ..."  
  
"Attention!" Stephanie called. "Now, I don't want any of you to panic ... Jericho being the only exception because of his fear of bunnies."  
  
"They're going to eat us and spew us back out so we can be fed to their mutant killer, fuzzy children!"  
  
"Right Jericho, anyway, I said not to panic. Apparently, the store is having some electrical difficulties."  
  
An immediate groan was heard from everyone. Minus the crazy fan girls.  
  
"The doors locked themselves and the windows are barred."  
  
"Talk about a tight security system," Lance whispered to Regal.  
  
"Typical Americans."  
  
"So we're stuck here until further notice. The Manager said the problem should be fixed in the mourning. Then we can all head back and enjoy the rest of our days."  
  
Suddenly the lights flickered. A couple broke and the rest dimmed. Then really old slow music played and everyone grunted and growled.  
  
"Romantic, isn't it my little cuddle-bug?" Matt said, edging towards Lita.  
  
"I'm not in the mood, Matt," Lita sighed.  
  
"How can you not be in the mood?! I - AHHH!" Matt tripped over a mannequin that was "accidentally" placed on the ground in front of him.  
  
"So we're stuck here. Please don't fuss. Look on the bright side. The manager went berserk and so did the people working here. That means we can pretty much do anything we want.  
  
"LET'S RAID THE VENDING MACHINES!" Jeff shouted, running over the nearby machine. He kicked it and head-butted it. When that failed, he took out a good old crowbar. Then he drowned himself in skittles.  
  
"Right, just don't make too much of a mess," Stephanie ordered.  
  
_________________________________________________________________  
  
Right, another day spent with the WWE. In an abandoned mall with no rules. How bad could it get?  
  
Hoped you liked. Took me forever to type. I'll try to fit more wrestler obsessing in the next chapter. Till then ...  
  
Toodles! ^_^


	21. The Really, Really Long Chapter!: part 1

30 Days and 30 Nights   
  
**Chapter 21: **  
  
**A/N: **I LIVE! ::random groans:: ya, so not such a joyous occasion. Shit, this is a long chapter! It may not look long, but it is! I had to divide it in half. (40 pages!)**  
  
**Yes, I feel xtremely bad that this took me months to update. You should all know the reason by now. *cough* writers block! *cough, cough* Well, the ending to my last chapter really sucked. Really hoping you like this! REALLY! Pwease review! Btw, some new people in this. If I've left anyone out, just remind me! OH, and of course the authors will be acting wacky and not normal for this!  
  
And if you think I've missed some people, authors, or required things out, it is because it's probably in the second half to this!  
**  
Author:** hypr-angl (that's me! ::GASP::) J  
  
________________________________________________________________  
  
**Day 21-   
  
**"Please calm down you guys! This is a huge mall and I don't want anyone getting hurt or **lost**!" Stephanie pleaded.  
  
"Then you better keep Mysterio away from the Santa exhibit," Kurt chuckled. "He might get mistaken for an elf on steroids."  
  
"You think that's funny?" Rey said with a mischievous smirk on his face.  
  
"Of course I do!" Kurt spat.  
  
"Well, I seem to be remembering something ..." Rey looked up and a giant thinking bubble popped up out of nowhere.  
  
"WHERE DID THAT COME FROM?!" Kurt yelled in confusion.  
  
"Shhh! It's a flashback!" Rey hushed.  
  
*FLASHBACK*  
  
"You know, this scavenger hunt really sucks," Rey pouted.  
  
"What do you mean?" Kurt said as he looked at his list.  
  
"Never mind. This just seems kind of immature and ... pointless," he sighed.  
  
"IMMATURE?! NEVER! Pointless maybe BUT NEVER IMMATURE!"  
  
Rey slapped his forehead in frustration. When he did this he happened to notice something missing.  
  
"What are you staring at, shrimp?" Kurt asked. He looked down and let out a scream. "I'VE LOST MY MOJO!"  
  
Rey gave Kurt a really strange look and backed away from him and his ... imaginary ... lost mojo.  
  
"Heh, I'm just jokin' with ya. But seriously, what are you looking at?"  
  
"Sure you are," Rey mumbled at the first comment. "Well, I'm not actually staring at anything. It's just ... Kurt, your medals aren't there." He said bluntly.  
  
"What are you talking about?!" Kurt laughed. "Do you really think my gold medals could escape such vision as great as mine? I mean, look at these eyes!" Kurt looked up and did his like-anything-could-get-past-me? look.  
  
Rey almost starting choking on Kurt's idiocy. "I'm serious!"  
  
Kurt, after being told six more times in different languages, finally got the point that his glorious medals were no longer placed scrappily around his neck.  
  
"NONONONONONONO!" Kurt frantically searched around for his medals. Rummaging through anything he could find.  
  
After a long day of gold medal searching, he snapped. You know when you see someone you hate so much that you just want to twist their ugly little head off, cut them up, and sell their body parts to a bum on the street ... it was sort of like that. Except this is Kurt we're talking about.  
  
Kurt lay on the ground, twitching uncontrollably in a very scary manner. He took off his clothes, all except his socks, and started to run madly in random directions. Rey kept his eyes tightly shut. So did the author. Where was I? Oh yeah. So Kurt ran into a store and somehow purchased plastic handcuffs. (Purchased. Stole. It's all the same thing!) He secured them tightly to one of his ankles and proceeded to NOT act sane.  
  
*END FLASHBACK*  
  
"THAT NEVER HAPPENED!" Kurt protested.  
  
"Yes it did," Bradshaw confirmed. "Me and Farrooq hid your stupid medals and witnessed the _inner_ Kurt unleash itself," he laughed.  
  
"Hey, don't forget, he was also reciting the 'Baby Got Back' song," Farrooq reminded.  
  
"That must have been funny," Azrael laughed.  
  
"BUNNY?!" Jericho shrieked.  
  
"I said funny!"  
  
"When did this happen?" Stephanie asked, though she wasn't quite sure she wanted to know.  
  
"IT NEVER DID!" Kurt protested.  
  
"Of course YOU would say something like that," Benoit snickered.  
  
"What's that supposed to mean?!" Kurt growled.  
  
"Oh nothing," Benoit replied. " *cough* cone-head *cough* "  
  
"I HEARD THAT!" Kurt shouted.  
  
"Good. That means your hearing has improved," Chris grinned.  
  
Kurt held back a small laugh and replied, "Silly, silly Benoit." Kurt smiled and shook his head. "Don't you know? My hearing is about as perfect as say ... me!"  
  
Everyone in the room rolled their eyes. Luckily, Kurt's stupidity prevented him from noticing this.  
  
Heyman, not wanting a fight to break out, changed the subject. "Wait a minute, Steph," he began. "Didn't you say just a couple of minutes ago that you didn't want us messing up anything?"  
  
"So?"  
  
"Well, do you really think releasing these ... filthy people to roam about is a smart thing to do?"  
  
"Who asked you?!" everyone snapped simultaneously.  
  
Heyman put on an innocent face that turned out looking like a sad walrus. A sad walrus with four chins and more stomachs then a cow.  
  
"Fine, we'll have a vote," Stephanie declared.  
  
"But -" Heyman started. A cold stare prevented him from going any further with his words.  
  
"Right, all in favour of roaming about, doing whatever one likes, say ... yes."  
  
"YES!" quickly replied the fan girls for obvious reasons.  
  
The others thought about it briefly before coming to an apparent conclusion.  
  
"Sure," they all mumbled.  
  
"Then it's settled!" Stephanie declared.  
  
"BUT - "  
  
"I've heard enough buts out of you, Heyman! Sit in the corner!"  
  
Heyman pouted and took his place in the corner. Joined by Brock Lesnar, of course.  
  
~*~  
  
"Edge, do you think letting Jeff drown himself in Skittles is the right thing to do?" Rob asked.  
  
"Hm, for once you may have a point," Edge thought.  
  
"YES! WONDERFUL, COLOURFUL SKITTLES! AND THEY'RE ALL MINE! MINE I TELL YOU! BACK YOU FOUL SCUM!" Jeff boomed, crawling deeper into the pile of sugary goodness. He had a mad look on his face. A look that said: "Touch my precious skittles and I'll stick them so far up your ass you'll need an autopsy to remove them." Yes, that was the look he was giving them. Actually, he had written that on his face with a blue magic marker.  
  
Rob and Edge nodded at each other and proceeded to remove Jeff's body from the candy. And with much struggling, managed to strap him to a nearby chair.   
  
"Hm ... where do you think we could take Jeff where he can't cause trouble?" Edge pondered.  
  
"The dollar store?" Rob suggested.  
  
Edge gave Rob a cold, unfriendly stare.  
  
"Whoa man, some serious negative vibes emanating from this dude!" Rob said.  
  
"Whatever," Edge sighed, not really getting much of what Rob said. Partly because he tuned out most of it. "Any other brilliant suggestions?"  
  
Rob thought long and hard before coming up with another place.  
  
"A WEAPONS SHOP!" he yelled.  
  
Now Edge was really frightened.  
  
"Naw, too creepy, right? Uh ... the candy store? No wait, we've got our own candy store in front of us. Of course! That's it!"  
  
...  
  
"What is it, Rob?"  
  
"Uh ... the dollar store?"  
  
"How about we wheel him around for awhile till he calms down," Edge thought.  
  
"Dude, how do you come up with these ideas?!" Rob exclaimed.  
  
"I don't know," Edge sighed. "I was just born brilliant I guess."  
  
"Right then!" Rob said. " ... Then may I ask how you got that big bite mark on your arm?"  
  
Edge looked at his arm and cringed a little.  
  
"Oh that?!" he laughed uneasily. "Well, you know when you found my mangled body last night?"  
  
"Hm ... I seem to recall that incident," Rob replied.  
  
"Well, it turns out I have this psycho girl that is out to get me," Edge said nervously.  
  
"Oh that girl! She has that really cool pet thing, right?" Rob stated.  
  
"What do you mean cool?!" Edge growled.  
  
"Well, you know what I mean," Rob nodded.  
  
"Half the time all I hear is chomping noises due to the fact you have a ultra-large bag of cheezies with you." Edge sighed and looked at his arm. "My poor arm!" he whined.  
  
In an artificial tree nearby ...  
  
"You see that tall, blonde freak over there, Smokey?" Leah put the binoculars in front of her pet. Leah had a black cloak on and sneakers that said "Sneaky Sneakers!" on them, obviously for sneaking. That is our target. I know! Let's make a game out of this. We'll call it ... Catch the Tall Blonde Guy!"  
  
Smokey gave her a weird look.  
  
Leah rubbed her hands together and cackled. "HEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE - AHHH!"  
  
Leah fell out of the tree and landed in front of Edge.  
  
"IT'S HER!" Edge shrieked. He looked up and spotted Smokey staring straight at him. "EEEEEEEEKKKK!"  
  
"Dude, do all blondes shriek like that?" Rob asked, digging his finger in his ear. "Uh oh, dude. Is it a good thing if you just happen to find a small mushy substance in your ear? ... Egde? ... Dude? Hm, I wonder if I picked my brains out?"  
  
~*~  
  
On the other side of the mall.  
  
*Note to Elyssa*  
  
 Uh huh, this is where I got a tad bit confused. You see, I got a review from a person that just put Jeff's Gal. I looked at the e-mail address. And since my computer went all stupid on me every time I tried to e-mail you (pandsking@optusnet) I was pretty much clueless. Your address matched the one I got earlier so I just assumed when I received a review with your name, Elyssa King ::insert e-mail address:: I got confused. I'm a very confusing person if you haven't noticed.  
  
Right, on with the story.  
  
On the other side of the mall ...  
  
We see Shannon Moore, on his knees, pleading in front of Matt.  
  
"Please Matt! All those things I said earlier, like burning your shirt, I didn't mean them!"  
  
"What's going on here?" Lita asked as she strutted up.  
  
"Oh, it's you," Matt mumbled.  
  
"You're damn right it's me. Shannon, why are you on your knees in front of Matt?"  
  
"That's Matt Hardy Version 1 to you and the rest of the world!" Shannon corrected.  
  
"Oh my god, you actually have a follower?" Lita snickered.  
  
"Laugh all you want, Lita. Shannon's soul belongs to me! We even signed a contract," Matt smiled.  
  
"SHANNON?!"  
  
The petite blonde looked up at Lita, then at Matt. "I must follow Mattitude," he said. "For without it, I would be nothing."  
  
"But just yesterday you were going on and on about how fun it was burning all those Matt Hardy T-shirts," Lita said.  
  
"YOU WHAT?!" Matt gasped.  
  
"I did no such thing!" Shannon protested. "I swear!"  
  
"Whatever the case is," Lita began. "I'm just here to officially break up with you."  
  
Matt kept cool, even with a crazy little girl attached to his leg shouting, "HOW COULD YOU?! HE WAS SO INNOCENT!" while glaring up at the oldest Hardy.  
  
"Who's she?" Lita asked.  
  
"This thing? She's supposedly some evil demon that was sent here to rid me of all that is sane," Matt muttered.  
  
"And it's working," our dear author grinned. "And I'm no demon!"  
  
"By the way Lita. I no longer care for you either. For you see, I now have Shannon." Matt smiled.  
  
"Are you telling me you guys are - "  
  
"NO! NOT THAT!"  
  
"I think Matt is but I don't know about Shannon," hypr commented.  
  
"No one asked you!" Matt snapped.  
  
"How do you know?! I have voices in my head too!" she shot back.  
  
"So then ... what are you guys?" Lita enquired, staring even more oddly at the two.  
  
Shannon simply looked to the floor and sighed. Matt on the other hand was about to have a laughing fit. An evil laughing fit of course.  
  
"He is my little minion. Here to impress me, care for me and pretty much do whatever I want."  
  
"In other words," Lita thought. "He's the replacement for Jeff and me."  
  
"NO! He's better!" Matt pouted.

  
"BETTER?!" hypr laughed. "How can you get better then Jeff and Lita?!"  
  
"Will you get off my leg!" Matt ordered.  
  
"Not until you convince Shannon you're just using him and he's just your replacement for Lita and Jeff because no one likes you and your new Mattitiude!"  
  
"Fine, stay on there and grow roots." Matt looked back at Lita and lifted his chin up. "Well, good-bye!" With those glorious words said, he walked away down the hall with Shannon doing back flips behind him (trying to impress his obviously).  
  
Lita sighed then suddenly realized something. Her! Being replaced?! By a little blonde of all people! Suddenly, her eyes turned red and her hair ... got redder! Was she jealous? She didn't care. She was going to prove she could not be replaced by anyone! OR! Better yet, get Matt jealous.  
  
In a bush nearby ...  
  
"Yep, this is the right place," a male voice confirmed. He smiled as the pretty redhead stomped away. "Ah, could this get any better?"  
  
"Well, if we were surrounded by Lita and other beautiful women in a hot tub then yes, it would be better," said another male voice.  
  
"That's not really what I meant but it makes sense to me," agreed Male voice number 1.  
  
"So ... what was your name again?"  
  
"King."  
  
"Like that guy that announces?"  
  
"No, like ... King. Just King."  
  
"I see. Well, I am Child of the Strata."  
  
"Cool."  
  
"Yeah, cool."  
  
"How'd you get in here?" King enquired.  
  
"Probably the same way you did," Child of the Strata replied.  
  
"Oh, cool."  
  
"Yeah, cool."  
  
"Wait, so who gets to comfort Lita when we do away with Matt?" King asked.  
  
"First of all, we don't need to worry about getting rid of Matt because that thing the girl who's goal is to make him go insane and partially normal will do it for us."  
  
"And?"  
  
"And, secondly, I get Lita," Child of the Strata stated.  
  
"Why you?!"  
  
"Because I called it."  
  
"I called it a long time ago!"  
  
"But I never heard you."  
  
"What makes you so sure I heard the words that came out of your mouth just a while ago?!"  
  
"Because you answered."  
  
Child of the Strata was right. But then again, King didn't really care.  
  
"Fine, why don't we make this a contest?" King thought.  
  
"Why does everything have to be a contest?"  
  
"Because contests are the only way to decide things!"  
  
"Ok. Why don't we flip for it?" Child of the Strata pulled out a quarter and held it out. "Heads I win, tails you lose."  
  
King simply looked at Child of the Strata for obvious reasons.  
  
"Really, I'm not that stupid."  
  
"Ok, if you say so. We'll just have to go with a contest. Whoever wins Lita's heart gets Lita."  
  
"Fine!"  
  
"Fine!"  
  
~*~  
  
"I heard his voice!" cried a girl. "MATTY! IS THAT YOU!" she called.  
  
She received a strange response.  
  
"Ow, stop hitting me!" whined a familiar voice.  
  
"YEAH RIGHT! YOU'RE AN EVIL DERRANGED ... POOHEAD! And I think a little of you is rubbing off on Jeff ... HOW COULD YOU?!" said another familiar voice.  
  
" *GASP* My Matty is in trouble!" gasped the girl who is really ... DreamLover684 but I'm going to call her Danielle because that's what it says on her bio. If you (DreamLover684) don't like that, review and tell me.  
  
Anyway, Danielle looked around frantically for her Matty-poo. 5 seconds later she found him with a psychotic leech attached to his leg. With a shrill cry she attached herself to Matt's arm and tore the other girl away from him.  
  
"HE'S MINE!" she growled.  
  
"What?" our wacky author said with a confused look on her face.  
  
"You heard me! No one hurts MY Matt," she declared.  
  
"Right ..." hypr said before realizing something. "How'd you get in anyway?!"  
  
"I ... uh, broke through a window," Danielle replied. "How did you get in?!"  
  
"I drove and invited myself to this messed up ... mess." Hypr looked at Matt who was obviously not getting any of this.  
  
"Will you get off my arm? SHANNON!" Matt ordered. "Help me!"  
  
"I don't think she wants to hurt you like I do," hypr commented.  
  
"Never mind!" Mattt shouted. He turned his head and looked at Danielle. "Why have you fastened yourself to my precious, beautiful arm?"  
  
"Because I think you are the best!" she squealed.  
  
Hypr-angl made loud gagging noises while pretending to stick something down her throat. "Wonderful," she sighed.  
  
"He IS wonderful!" Danielle pouted. "Isn't that right?" she said looked up at Matt.  
  
"What? Oh yeah! I am wonderful aren't I!" he smiled.  
  
"Believe me. Wonderful isn't the word I would use," hypr frowned. "Now can I resume tormenting this guy?"  
  
"NEVER!" Danielle shouted. She detached herself from Matt's arm and raised her fists. "If you want him, you'll have to get by me!"  
  
"Was that line from a movie?" hypr asked.  
  
"I dunno. I just heard it somewhere," she shrugged.  
  
"Will you stop switching topics and fight for me already!" Matt shouted.  
  
"Don't get your ego in a knot, jerk!" hypr spat.  
  
"HE'S NOT A JERK!" Danielle shrieked, pouncing on me - I mean hypr-angl.  
  
~*~  
  
"Taker?"  
  
Jericho looked around nervously and tapped Azrael's shoulder.  
  
"What?!" she snapped.  
  
"Can we go? I think that fuzzy menace I saw earlier is around here," Jericho whimpered.  
  
"You can go but I want to find out what made Taker go all silent and zombie-like."  
  
"But - "  
  
"YOU CAN GO!" Azrael repeated. "Or are you too scared?"  
  
"TOO SCARED?!" Jericho laughed. "Me?! No. I was just thinking with Taker out for a while you shouldn't be left alone in the dark."  
  
"It's 4:00pm," Azrael said, raising an eyebrow.  
  
"I know that!"  
  
"Eh."  
  
"He said something!" Azrael cried.  
  
"How joyous," Jericho drawled.  
  
"My thoughts exactly," she grinned.  
  
"I was being sarcastic!" Jericho corrected.  
  
"No! REALLY?!"  
  
"Haha."  
  
"Death?!" Taker whispered.  
  
"Death?!" Azrael and Jericho repeated simultaneously.  
  
"Uh, so what made him go all weird anyway?" Jericho enquired.  
  
"I dunno. I was with Qwerty for a while. She left with Kane and when I turned around, he just froze," Azrael explained, scratching her head.  
  
"Well, whenever I go like this it's usually because I see something that has been haunting me since my childhood."  
  
"Like bunnies?" Azrael giggled. "Jericho?"  
  
Jericho positioned himself in a really weird ninja pose. He had a plastic knife that he placed in front of his face while he started to chant something.  
  
"All right! I get the point!" she sighed. "Hm, I wonder what Qwerty is doing? Whatever it is, she's probably having more fun then me."  
  
In random place in the mall (looks like a basement) ...  
  
"So explain to me again what we're doing here?" Sonar questioned. "Wherever here is."  
  
"Who knows," Qwerty replied. "Kane just led me down here and you just happen to follow with that really big sack on your back. What's in there anyway?"  
  
"Uh, this?" Sonar said, pointing to the incredibly large sack behind her.  
  
"Yes, that is the sack I was referring to."  
  
"Help - "  
  
Sonar dropped the sack quickly with a loud thud.  
  
"Oops. How clumsy of me," she smiled.  
  
"You wouldn't happen to have anyone in that sack, would you?" Qwerty asked, looking suspiciously at Sonar.  
  
Sonar's grin faded and she looked around. The only other person there was Kane. And he was busy reciting some mumbo-jumbo in a corner. She whispered some words in Qwerty's ear.  
  
"ARE YOU SERIOUS?!"  
  
"Shh!" Sonar hushed. "You better not tell anyone!" she hissed.  
  
"O ... kay," Qwerty said. "Um ... can I see?"  
  
" *sigh* Fine."  
  
Sonar looked around once more to see if anyone was watching them even though she had no clue where she was. She quickly opened the sack and Raven's blonde, braided head popped out.  
  
"Whoa," Qwerty gasped.  
  
"Yeah, isn't he just the cutest!"  
  
"What's going on over there?" Kane asked.  
  
"Uh, I'm showing Qwerty some items I found in ... the janitor's closet."  
  
"The janitor's closet?" Qwerty asked.  
  
"Hey, in these situations I just say whatever comes to mind! Besides, this place feels ... janitor-ish."  
  
"Who else is in there?" Qwerty enquired.  
  
"Oh, just people," Sonar sighed, opening the sack more.  
  
Inside, along with Raven, were Spike, Scott Hall, Kevin Nash, X-pac, Eddie Guerrero and HBK.  
  
"But ... HOW?!" Qwerty asked in shock.  
  
"Quite simple really. But that's for me to know, and you to find out!"  
  
...  
  
"All right, I'll tell you!" Sonar whispered into Qwerty's ear and they both giggled like little girls.  
  
"It is ready!" Kane bellowed.  
  
"What's ready?" Sonar asked.  
  
"Is there going to be fire?!" Qwerty squeaked.  
  
"Uh, sure I guess," Kane replied.   
  
Kane lifted his hand up and fireball appeared. The two girls watched in amazement as it grew bigger and lit up wherever they were.  
  
"W - We're in ... THE JANITOR'S CLOSET?!" they exclaimed.  
  
"What did you expect?" Kane asked. "The Eiffel Tower?"  
  
"Maybe," Qwerty mumbled.   
  
"Ugh, I'm out of here!" Sonar said, heading for the door. She twisted it and heard a click. "Aw crap!"  
  
~*~  
  
"Now wasn't that fun!" Angel Hunter grinned as she wheeled Billy and Chuck up to the wall.  
  
"How many times around the mall was that Chuck?"  
  
"I don't know, Billy. I lost track at 13."  
  
The two sighed and lowered their heads.  
  
"OK! Number 18 coming up!"  
  
"STOP RIGHT THERE MISSY!" boomed a voice.  
  
"What?"  
  
"RICO!" Billy and Chuck cried. "You've come to save us!"  
  
"Yes! I, Rico, will help you out of this predicament!"  
  
"You sound like The Hurricane," Angel Hunter commented.  
  
"Sorry, I've been helping him hide for a while," Rico said.  
  
"So, you want to help these two?"  
  
"Yes," Rico stated. "That was what I was planning to do."

  
"So what ARE you going to do now?" Angel Hunter grinned.  
  
"Uh, I hadn't thought that far ahead - "  
  
"HYAAAAIIIIII!" Angel Hunter cried as she jumped up. A cloud of smoke rose and when it cleared, Rico was tied up with Billy and Chuck.  
  
"Oh just great. The only one that could save us and he's out cold!" Billy and Chuck sighed.  
  
Angel Hunter whistled a tune as she continued her fun-filled tour of the mall.  
  
"And on our right, we have the entrance to the mall again! ... HUH??!"  
  
Angel Hunter stopped and spotted someone.   
  
"Is that Robby!"  
  
She noticed a horrified look on his face as he had one hand firmly on his ear and the other one waving in the air. Angel Hunter cocked her head to the side and wheeled the three she had over to him.  
  
"What'sgoingonwhat'sgoingonwhat'sgoingon, etc., " he was chanting.  
  
"What's the matter?" Angel Hunter asked.  
  
"Well, Edge ran in some direction, away from a girl and her pet thing, and left me here alone. Before that he let out an ear shattering screech that I didn't really think was possible to accomplish by a man. But he did and now my ear has some mushy stuff in it!" Rob explained.  
  
Angel Hunter, Billy, Chuck and Rico all looked at Rob like he was on drugs. ... More drugs.  
  
"How 'bout you come with me and I'll see if I can fix it," Angel Hunter suggested.  
  
"Dude!" So Rob followed Angel Hunter and her tied up crew to wherever they were headed. "Wait, aren't we forgetting anyone? Seriously man."  
  
"No! I have an idea! LET'S TAKE A PET FROM THE PET STORE!"  
  
"So many memories," Rob sighed.  
  
~*~  
  
"Look!" Bojacky squealed.  
  
" *GASP* It's him!" Naomi said in shock.  
  
"Is he alive?" Caitlyn asked.  
  
"Of course he is! I think," Bojacky said, poking Jeff in his ribs.  
  
"Skittlz?" he snorted.  
  
"Yep, definitely alive!" Elyssa concluded.  
  
"What's going on her - "  
  
"IT'S HIM!" Bojacky squealed once more.   
  
"EEP! Another fangirl!" The Hurricane cried as he tried to make a run for it.  
  
NOOOOOO!" Bojacky leaped into the air and landed directly on the Hurricane.  
  
"I knew this was all a bad idea," he grunted.  
  
"Oh! Oh! Oh! Can I have your mask! Can I?! Can I?!" she pleaded.  
  
"Will you stop scaring me?"  
  
"MAYBE!"  
  
"Um, all right," he agreed.  
  
"YES!" Bojacky said, immediately placing the mask over her face. "I am never washing this face again! Except when it gets really dirty!"  
  
"Good, now will you wake Citizen Jeff from his slumber?" The Hurricane declared.  
  
"Slumber? Don't you realize he's unconscious?" Elyssa, Caitlyn and Naomi stated.  
  
"The Hardy is unconscious?! What have you done!?!"  
  
"Um ... nothing. We were following him earlier. Then we lost him in the sea of skittles, now he's here and unfortunately not all with us." Elyssa frowned.  
  
"Are you planning on waking him up anytime soon?" The Hurricane asked.  
  
"He's not asleep," they repeated.  
  
"Oh, I knew that!"  
  
"Of course you did!" Bojacky said glomping The Hurricane's leg with all her might.  
  
"Where's Robbie?" Caitlyn suddenly said with wonder.  
  
"Yeah, Edge, RVD and Jeff are usually always together. You know, creating mischief and all," Naomi said.  
  
"Strange, isn't it?"  
  
"This looks like a job for - "The Hurricane dashed out of the room like a bullet and inflated his portable telephone booth. He stepped in and magically came out as ... his normal self.  
  
"What was the point of that?" Elyssa asked.  
  
"Oh, that's right. I was already wearing my Hurricane costume," The Hurricane realized. With a large, goofy grin, he deflated his telephone booth and fixed his cape before continuing with whatever he was planning on doing before.  
  
"So ... what now?" they asked again.  
  
The Hurricane picked Jeff up and carried him off.  
  
"Where are you going?!" they asked.  
  
"To find RVD and Edge. They probably know what's wrong with him," The Hurricane replied.  
  
The girls shrugged and agreed as they dashed after him.  
  
~*~  
  
"So Trips - can I call you that?"  
  
Triple H gave the girl an evil glare.  
  
The girl, Angel-eyes, couldn't help but laugh due to the fact that when Triple H glares, his nostrils grow twice as big.  
  
"Heh, so seriously, I think this little misunderstanding between us is all just a big mistake."  
  
Triple H continued to glare which made Angel-eyes practically fall out of the chair she was tied to.  
  
"C'mon champ. Let's just let her go. You got bigger things to worry about," Ric informed.  
  
"Why don't you prance off with Batista. I'll stay here and continue to - "  
  
Angel-eyes fell out of her chair and somehow the ropes (which weren't very strong) broke. She looked around, spotted an exit and raced away.  
  
"DAMN! That's it, who's idea was it to tie her up with dental floss?!" Triple H growled.  
  
Ric Flaire proceeded to whistle a not-so-catchy tune.  
  
Triple H slapped his forehead and went searching for Angel-eyes.  
  
~*~  
  
"SOMEONE HELP ME!"  
  
Azrael and Jericho looked up and saw Angel-eyes come running forward. She leapt onto Jericho and looked around nervously for Trips.  
  
"Yes! A fan encounter!" Jericho cheered.  
  
"Fan?!" Angel-eyes looked down and jumped off immediately.  
  
"You were saying?" Azrael grinned.  
  
"Oh, go marry Taker," Jericho scowled.  
  
"First of all, Taker is married. Secondly, I don't want to marry him. And thirdly ... there's a bunny on your back?"  
  
"WHAT?!"  
  
Jericho looked behind him and saw the bunny, with its vicious claws sunk into his back. He yelped in pain and ran around in circles.  
  
Azrael and Angel-eyes couldn't believe what they were seeing.  
  
"Does this mean Jericho was right about killer bunnies?" Angel-eyes enquired.  
  
"No, it doesn't mean he's right. There has to be a logical or semi-understandable reason for this," Azrael said calmly.  
  
"And if there isn't"

  
"Then we stand here and wait for Jericho to detach the killer bunny. Or we walk away and go get a drink."  
  
"I like the second option," Angel-eyes said.  
  
"Me too," Azrael agreed.  
  
So Azrael and Angel-eyes took Taker and wandered off to go get a beverage while Jericho started to do the stop, drop and roll procedure.  
  
~*~  
  
Nowinski was soaked from head to toe, sitting at a nearby table. Shivering and agitated, he tried to sip his coffee. Fortunately, in his condition that wasn't possible. He spilt it on himself and let out a small gasp.  
  
Behind a bush ...  
  
"See, now that he's totally lost it, we can get back to plan A," Bannonluke stated proudly.  
  
"There's a plan A?" Stiletto questioned. "Since when?"  
  
"Um ... since now," Bannonluke said.  
  
"Alright, so what was plan A?"  
  
"Uh ... I don't know." Bannonluke scratched his head. He turned to look at Nowinski who was now accompanied by ... MOLLY?!  
  
"What the - "  
  
At the table ...  
  
"Are you alright, Nowinski?" Molly asked, placing a hand over his cold shoulder.  
  
Nowinski shook his head and tried to drink more of his coffee.  
  
"What happened? You can tell me," Molly said, patting his back.  
  
Behind the bush ...  
  
"DAMN HIM!" Bannonluke shouted, thwacking the plant.  
  
"I guess Molly is just a little too caring," Stiletto said.  
  
"No, no, no, no, no, no ...  
  
Back at the table ...  
  
"Well, you see those two - "  
  
"NOWINSKI FELL INTO THE WATER FOUNTAIN!"  
  
"What?" Molly said, looking behind her.  
  
"Yep, he had a tragic accident involving the water fountain. Isn't that right?"  
  
"Isn't what - OW!" Stiletto rubbed his side and looked at Bannonluke. "Yeah, we saw it all. He was - "at that moment Stiletto burst into tears."H - He tried to throw us in the fountain!" he cried.  
  
"Uh ... YEAH!" Bannonluke cried, following Stiletto.  
  
"Is this true?" Molly asked.  
  
"I, well you see - "  
  
"Now he's going to blame it on us!" Stiletto wailed, placing his head and hands on the table.  
  
"It's - It's just not fair!" Bannonluke said, putting his arm around Molly.  
  
"I - I give up!" Nowinski also burst into tears. Stiletto and Bannonluke stopped abruptly and looked at each other as Nowinski really put on the water works.  
  
"You should be ashamed - "  
  
"I AM!" Nowinski stood up and ran into the men's bathroom.  
  
"Pansy," Bannonluke whispered.  
  
"So, did you guys have fun?" Molly asked with a smile.  
  
"Say what?!" Stiletto said.  
  
"Oh c'mon. Just because I'm a blonde and seem pure and innocent doesn't mean I'm a complete nimrod," she laughed.  
  
"You! A nimrod?! NEVER!" Bannonluke said.  
  
"So why did you let us get away with making a fool out of Nowinski?" both questioned.  
  
"Well, I don't really like Nowinski to start. He's always asking me embarrassing questions like, am I a virgin, and stuff like that."  
  
"Are you?" Stiletto asked. "OW! Stop hitting me!"  
  
Bannonluke glowered at Stiletto and looked sweet and innocent at Molly.  
  
"Well, do you guys want ice cream?" Molly offered.  
  
"Of course I do!" Bannonluke beamed.  
  
"Um, I'm just going to hang out and play in the arcade room. I got to do something with all these quarters." Stiletto walked away while Bannonluke and Molly linked arms and went to acquire some food.  
  
________________________________________________  
  
I'm ending this chapter here. The next one I upload (which I still need to check over and add some finishing details to) will be set on the same day. Well, considering how long this took you better like it or else! ::shakes fist::  
  
Toodlz! ^_^


	22. The Really, Really Long Chapter!: part 2

30 Days and 30 Nights   
  
**Chapter 22: **The Really, Really Long Chapter (part 2)  
  
**A/N: **Thnx to all those that didn't blow up due to my slow updating. Me soooo sorry. Well, this has a sort of surprise ending to it. Actually, I wouldn't really call it a surprise. An ending, yes - Oops! I gave it away! -_- Well, if you still haven't guessed what the ending is then you'll have to read to find out. Or skip down to the bottom and read the last bit. Watevr. ^_^  
**  
Author:** hypr-angl (that's me! ::GASP::)  
  
________________________________________________________________  
  
**Day 21-  
  
**After Stiletto spent all his money, he decided a drink was needed. On his way to get a drink he spotted two girls, chatting away with a wacky blonde behind them. The wacky blonde had a piece of fuzz or wool stuck to his back that he didn't seem to notice.  
  
"Hey girls! Yo Jericho, there's something on your back," he called.  
  
Jericho's eyes widened as he did the stop, drop and roll thing again.  
  
"What's up with him?" Stiletto asked.  
  
"Irrational fear of bunnies," Azrael answered.  
  
"I'm not sure I would call it irrational," Angel-eyes said, looking at Jericho as he lay twitching on the floor.  
  
"True," Stiletto agreed. "Well, hear anything interesting?"  
  
"We did get news that the mall would be opening up again soon," Angel-eyes said.  
  
"Really?!" Stiletto said in disbelief.  
  
"And I still haven't found what's wrong with Taker. I'm REALLY worried," Azrael stated.  
  
"Maybe you should put something valuable of his in jeopardy," Stiletto suggested.  
  
"Hm, maybe I should," and without another word, Azrael crept off with Taker, cackling and smiling all the way.  
  
O.O  
  
~*~  
  
"Alright! I won't bother your _Matty-poo_ anymore if you just let me knock a bit of sense into him!" hypr proposed.  
  
"Uh ... depends on how much sense will be knocked into him. AND if there will actually be any knocking involved," Danielle stated.  
  
"Okay, just a little bit of sense knocking. Just enough so his head doesn't explode due to information overload.  
  
"Alrighty!" Danielle agreed.  
  
Hypr-angl turned to Matt and looked at him semi-seriously. Matt sort of reminded her of cockroach, elf, and an ugly chipmunk all squished into one.  
  
"You are evil." She said, saying each word very slowly.  
  
Matt looked dumbfounded, but continued to listen.  
  
"You have corrupted Shannon Moore and I am afraid to say that a little bit of you is starting to rub off on Jeff," she said as calmly as she could.  
  
" *sigh* It's true, isn't it?" Matt said.  
  
"Well?"  
  
"Well what?" Matt looked even more puzzled and continued to act stupid.  
  
"AREN'T YOU GOING TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT?!" hypr spazzed.  
  
"Sure ... I guess," Matt shrugged.  
  
"K!" hypr turned on her heel and proceeded down the hall. But first she had to yell one last thing. "YOU BETTER NOT TURN JEFF INTO MATT HARDY VERSION 2 YOU EVIL, VILE CREATURE! He can't be a heel!"  
  
Matt nodded, stood up and turned to Shannon.  
  
"Shannon, you've been a good friend to me and - "  
  
"DON'T ABANDON ME!" Shannon pleaded.  
  
"Oh ... Alright then," Matt grinned.  
  
"Hey Matty! Is there room for another Matt fan?" Danielle asked.  
  
"Sure!"  
  
Danielle ran up and glomped Matt's leg with all her might.  
  
Hypr, though she was far away by now, was gritting her teeth and clenching her fist in pure frustration. While chanting, "dumbass, dumbass, dumbass ..." to her self she walked by and grabbed Child of the Strata and King by the collar. "HE'S EVIL! WHYWHYWHY?!"  
  
The two guys looked puzzled as she put them down and continued to storm off.  
  
"That was ..."  
  
"Strange," King ended.  
  
"Who are you guys?" asked a female voice from behind.  
  
"IT'S HER!" exclaimed the boys.  
  
"What?" Lita said, confused.  
  
"WILL YOU BE MY GIRLFRIEND?! They both pleaded as they rushed up to the stunned red-head.  
  
"I - "  
  
"LITA!"  
  
"Matt??"  
  
"We have just broken up and you're already trying to get with another guy?!" Matt said in a mix of confusion, anger, and ... happiness! (?) Don't ask.  
  
"Oh, are you jealous?" Lita teased. _"This is easier then I thought," she thought to herself.  
  
"ME?! JEALOUS?!"  
  
"Get lost!" yelled the two boys. "You had your chance!"  
  
"But I love you Lita!" Matt whined. "Shannon means absolutely nothing to me!"  
  
Shannon was about to open his mouth to complain when Danielle leapt from behind him and onto Matt.  
  
"MATTY!"  
  
"Matty?! Who is this?!" Lita asked in rage.  
  
"Uh ... a follower!" Matt said proudly. "But she also means nothing!"  
  
"That's not what you told me earlier," Danielle mentioned with a smile.  
  
"MATT!"  
  
"LITA!"  
  
"MATTY-POO!"  
  
"WILL YOU BE MY GIRLFRIEND?!"  
  
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN I MEAN NOTHING TO YOU?!"  
  
"WE'RE FREE!"  
  
The group of arguers ceased and turned their attention to an open door.  
  
"See, I told you using that sack of yours was a good way to get the door open," Qwerty stated.  
  
"Eh, true," Sonar agreed.  
  
Kane merely walked over to a nearby table and sat down.  
  
"Wait for me, Kaney!" Qwerty cried. "Hey, you wanna start a fire?" she suggested.  
  
Kane smiled beneath his mask and followed Qwerty somewhere else.  
  
"So ... what was going on behind that door anyway?" Matt wondered, his mind drifting away from the current brawl.  
  
Sonar turned to all of them. "What? ... You people are sick!"  
  
"Hey, why is that girl coming towards us with a not very nice look on her face?" Shannon asked, perplexed.  
  
"Spike? SPIKE?!"  
  
Sonar looked around for whoever was calling the name and panicked.   
  
"DID YOU STEAL SPIKE?!" Leah asked.  
  
"Uh ... me? NO. And he's not in this very large and heavy sack behind me if that's what you're thinking."  
  
"I'm thinking that now," Leah growled.  
  
"Um, OH LOOK! EDGE IS SHOWING HIS ASS TO STEPHANIE MCMAHON!" Sonar shouted.  
  
"WHAT!! WHERE?!" Leah roared, turning her head so quickly it seemed that her neck was about to snap. "I don't see Edge? _Thankfully I can't see his ass either. _Or Stephanie McMahon? Are you sure, Sonar? Sonar??"  
  
Sonar made a mad dash for it and hid somewhere in the toy store.  
  
"Ooh! Toys!"  
  
"I'LL FIND YOU, SPIKEY!" Leah cried, running after Sonar.  
  
"This has been a really strange day," Lita sighed.  
  
"You know what would make it stranger?" Matt began.  
  
"No Matt, I am not getting back together with you," Lita said.  
  
"Damn!"  
  
"I think it would be weird if someone came by with something that belonged to a certain respected superstar," Hypr said, still in a bad mood.  
  
And wouldn't you know it. Azrael then came riding by on Taker's motorcycle. Though completely out of control, she had managed to wake up the sleeping beast from his deep ... slumber.  
  
"GET BACK HERE GIRL!" Taker hollered.  
  
"SORRYSORRYSORRYSORRYSORRYSORRY, etc."   
  
Azrael continued to apologize and ride out of control until she hit a large, hard object.  
  
"Ouch."  
  
"Nice save," Taker said, shaking Kane's hand.  
  
Kane was ALMOST sweating and Qwerty was extremely panicked about something.  
  
"What's up?"  
  
"Uh - "  
  
"There seems to have been a little accident," Qwerty said, forcing a smile.  
  
"Accident? Like the one Azrael just had?" King commented.  
  
"Qwerty, alongside Jeff, set a fire and you know the rest," Kane answered.  
  
"Hey! I was not the only one involved!" Qwerty protested.  
  
"I said Jeff," Kane muttered.  
  
"Oh! So you did."  
  
~*~  
  
Somewhere else in the burning mall ...  
  
"Isn't it strange that Jeff just happen to wake up - I mean, not be unconscious the second that girl asked if anyone wanted to play with matches," The Hurricane wondered.  
  
"I think it's more then strange," Naomi said looking at Jeff.  
  
The rest of the gang looked at Jeff as he stuffed his face with more skittles.  
  
"What?"  
  
"Oh boy," they sighed.  
  
"If you think you're getting any then your wrong! Very wrong!" Jeff said through constant chewing. "Why is my arm blue?"  
  
"HEY, YOU GUYS!"  
  
"Hey Angel Hunter!" the girls shouted.  
  
"You guys heard about the fire, right?!"  
  
"Yeah, Jeff started it," Naomi explained.  
  
"Oh, cool. Anyway, we better get out of here," Angel Hunter said, wheeling Billy, Chuck and Rico along.  
  
"Yeah, I hear the smoke is bad for you," The Hurricane warned. "Though I could never understand why."  
  
Everyone looked at him. Even Jeff!  
  
"What? Jeff can act stupid and I can't?"  
  
"Hey!" Jeff disputed. "Speaking of skittles, why are Billy, Chuck, and an ugly ape with horrible fashion sense tide to that wheel-thing?"  
  
"Jeff, we were never talking about skittles," Bojacky informed. "I think you're hearing things."  
  
"Not again," Jeff sighed.  
  
"And what do skittles have to do with Billy and Chuck?" Elyssa and Caitlyn questioned.  
  
"What DO skittles have to do with Billy and Chuck?" Jeff asked the Hurricane.  
  
"I dunno, you said it," The Hurricane said.  
  
"I did?"  
  
"PLEASE RELEASE US!" B & C begged. "This isn't good for our hair! Plus our arms are sore from all that hugging she did," they cried, glaring at Angel Hunter.  
  
"I couldn't resist," she grinned.  
  
"Really?" Chuck said, raising an eyebrow. "So how come when you go to hug us you have an 'I-can-resist-this-but-choose-not-to' expression on your face!?"  
  
"A what?"  
  
"Never mind," he groaned. "Oh look, it's everyone else," he said in a dry tone.  
  
"GET AWAY FROM ME, MATT!" Lita shouted.  
  
"BUT I NEEEEEEED YOU!" Matt insisted.  
  
"I thought Shannon and I met your needs?!" Danielle whimpered.  
  
"Well, uh ... you do!"  
  
"Please Lita! If not your girlfriend, then a really, really close friend!" pleaded the two boys.  
  
"I'm still thirsty," Stiletto remembered.  
  
"My spleen!" Azrael cried.  
  
"Where's Angel-eyes?" Angel Hunter wondered.  
  
"You guys?"  
  
"Huh?" Everyone turned around to see a very, very pissed off angl.  
  
"Aw! It's a little girl! How'd did this young lady get in this mall?" Hurricane asked, pointing a finger at Hypr.  
  
Hypr growled and tried to bite his finger off. ::SNAP::  
  
"Whoa! Now, now, fingers are not for biting. Didn't your mother teach you that?" The Hurricane stated.  
  
This obviously got hypr-angl even more upset. She pounced on our innocent super hero and started to tear his cape apart.  
  
"ACK! NO! I JUST GOT THAT CLEANED!" The Hurricane cried.  
  
After much talking and struggling, Hypr was calmed down as she started to say something.  
  
"We need to go now!" she ordered.  
  
"WHAT?" Everyone shouted.  
  
"Listen, the mall is on fire, the mall manager is on fire, the people that work here are on fire, I AM ON FIRE - "  
  
Everyone's eyes grew wide as hypr-angl continued to talk. Strangely her clothes were not burning. And she was not melting.  
  
"HAH! I am the supreme author of this fic! I can't catch on fire!" she bellowed. "Same goes for all of you too," hypr added, pointing the all the Authors.  
  
"Author?" the wrestlers said, puzzled.  
  
"Oops!" Hypr grinned and hid the laptop behind her back. (Note: I don't actually own a laptop!) "I said nothing!"  
  
"Hey, just because the mall is on fire doesn't mean we have to leave," Jeff said.  
  
"Do you think before you talk?" Molly asked as she ran up with Bannonluke and ice cream.  
  
"Think?"  
  
"SERIOUSLY!" hypr persisted. "We need to get out of here. None of the people that work here know who started the fire and I want to keep it that way!"  
  
Everyone headed towards the entrance. They eventually gathered all the other superstars except for the ones in Sonar's sack. Those ones stayed in the large bag, unknown to anyone else other then Sonar and Qwerty.  
  
"Wait!"  
  
"WHAT NOW, HEYMAN?!" asked everyone.  
  
"W - We can't leave without Stephanie's permission!" Heyman whimpered.  
  
"FINE!" Hypr rolled her eyes, rolled up her sleeves, and started typing.  
  
Out of the blue Stephanie appeared. She landed on Heyman and coughed out a hairball. (?)  
  
"Strange," said all the other authors.  
  
"WHAT?! DO THAT AGAIN!" Heyman ordered. "MAKE THE BIG SHOW THE CHAMPION!"  
  
"Heyman!" Brock shouted.  
  
"Hey, I warned you!"  
  
Hypr grinned evilly and started typing again.  
  
On the Big Show's shoulder appeared the WWE champion belt. Heyman grinned and laughed. Fortunetaly, he was silenced when he gained 300 pounds unexpectedly. He tried to yell but his millions of chins prevented any sound from escaping. Just air that escaped between the flabs of fat.  
  
Suddenly, the entrance doors swung open and everyone was somehow transported outside.  
  
"Am I good or what?" hypr nodded.  
  
"Turn him back!" The Big Show demanded.  
  
"Hm ... no," she decided.  
  
"Do it or - "  
  
"If I turn him back then the shiny belt goes," she smirked.  
  
"Well it's obvious what I'm going to choose!" The Big Show laughed.  
  
The Big Show looked at his "friend" and smiled.  
  
"Thnph ou! *Thank you!* " Heyman tried to say.  
  
"I choose to keep the belt," The Big Show said.  
  
"Interesting," Brock said.  
  
"So does this mean everything is almost back to normal and we can get out of here?" Edge asked as blood spewed out of his leg.  
  
"Dude - "  
  
"SHUT UP!"  
  
"Man, just trying to be helpful," Rob said.  
  
"Well, Molly has offered me a ride back home," Bannonluke happily announced.  
  
"I did?" Molly questioned.  
  
Bannonluke nudged hypr and Molly's facial expression changed.  
  
"I mean, of course!" Molly said gladly. "We'll go in this really expensive looking car that just happens to be there."  
  
::Bannonluke and Diva Molly leave in car that happened to be there::  
  
"Hey girl, can you fix my bike?" Taker asked.  
  
"No, do look like a mechanic?" hypr asked.   
  
Taker growled like a mad dog and gave her his death look.  
  
"I mean ... I do look like a mechanic!" hypr said, hastily typing.  
  
Taker's bike popped up by a tree, brand new of course.  
  
"Hey girl!"  
  
Azrael looked around, then realized he was talking about her. "Yeah?"  
  
"You want a ride? You could use some lessons anyway."  
  
"Sure!" Azrael responded as she hopped on.  
  
"But the bunnies!" Jericho wailed.  
  
"Hm ..." hypr thought for a moment before typing again.  
  
The next moment, Jericho was tied to the back of the bike as it drove away.  
  
"NOOOOOOOOOOO!" cried a voice not far off.  
  
"PYPER!" Azrael said, motioning towards Taker.  
  
"Good for you but I can't let you harm MY Jericho!"  
  
"YES! A FAN AT LAST! I TOLD YOU I HAD FANS BUT NNNOOOOOO! NO ONE EVER LISTENS TO THE HYSTERICAL BLONDE!" Jericho ranted.  
  
"YES! I WUV YOU!" Pyper squealed.  
  
"THIS is how I should really be treated," Jericho stated.  
  
Pyper quickly untied Jericho and instead tied him to a nearby car. She took the keys and started up the engine.  
  
"What are you doing?" Jericho enquired.  
  
"I'm going to take you away from these people so you and I can have some 'alone' time," she said with a big, goofy, grin on her face.  
  
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"  
  
::Taker and Azrael leave on bike. Pyper and Jericho leave in mysterious car::  
  
"Let's go Jeffy!" Caitlyn said, grabbing Jeff and his skittles.  
  
"No way! Jeff is going to drive me home!" Bojacky argued. "Then we're all going to the Hurricane's secret hide-out where we'll drink pop and laugh till we collapse from lack of sleep! BWAHAHAHA!"  
  
O.O  
  
"I never said I was sane!" Bojacky said.  
  
"Hey Jeff, you want to drive me home, right?" Naomi asked. "RVD and Edge can come too!"  
  
"Hey, did you forget about me?!" Elyssa whimpered.  
  
"Where's Angel-eyes?" hypr asked. "You'd think she'd want to join in this wacky drive."  
  
~*~  
  
Somewhere unknown ...  
  
"Hello?" Angel-eyes searched the area for any sign of live.  
  
"Where is she?" mumbled a gruff voice.  
  
"SHIT!" she whispered. Angel-eyes counted to three, then flung herself out from behind a clothing rack and onto Trips.  
  
~*~  
  
"WHAT THE HELL AM I DOING HERE?" Angel-eyes wondered aloud.  
  
"AND WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING ON TOP OF ME?!" Triple H shrieked.  
  
"DOG PILE"! hypr shouted.  
  
"WHAT?! NO!" Trips pleaded against it but no such luck. Trips was squashed into an ugly pancake.  
  
After taking their attention completely away from Triple H, the group talked about more important matters. Like, who will Jeff, RVD, and Edge be driving home?  
  
"ME!" shouted a handful of girls.  
  
"You know what girls," Jeff sighed as he took his shirt off. "I'll throw my shirt in the air and whoever catches it gets to drive home with me."  
  
"Are you completely out of your mind!" Edge hissed.  
  
"Well, actually dude - "  
  
"I WASN'T ASKING YOU!"  
  
Rob turned his head and pouted. "Why are you always yelling at me?"  
  
"Well Edge, now that you mention it, I'm not really myself today ..."  
  
"Too true," Rob said as the two slapped a high-five but obviously were a little to high to actually slap hands. Instead the usual happened and their hands connected with each others head.  
  
"What are you guys talking about?" Edge asked.  
  
Jeff and RVD exchanged funny glances and opened up their ... stomachs. Inside was a maze of wires. RVD's were grey for some reason and Jeff's were all the colours of the rainbow.  
  
"You see, we really are robots," Rob/robot confessed. "The real Jeff and Rob are safe at home eating potato chips, salsa and dip - "  
  
"You forgot skittles!" Jeff/robot reminded.  
  
"Yeah, and skittles. Not to mention, drinking pop, messing up the place, and watching a large amount of tv and videogames."  
  
"Lucky them," the whole group sighed.  
  
~*~  
  
Back at the house ...  
  
"Dude, do you think our robots have revealed themselves yet?" Rob asked. "Dude?"  
  
"I'M FREE!" Jeff said as he ran in the room with two pairs of boxers. One pair of boxers were where they should be and the others were placed on his head.  
  
~*~  
  
"So you see, Jeff and Rob aren't really that dumb after all," Rob/robot stated.  
  
"Yep, the real Jeff and Rob ditched the mall after Jeff made off with the truckload of sugary sweets," Jeff/robot said. "So what do you think of us now? Ladies?"  
  
...  
  
"SHOOT!"  
  
"Great, while you guys babbled on about the whereabouts of the REAL Jeff and Rob, the crazy fan girls took off to look for them." Edge sighed. "Well, I might as well go too." Edge lowered his head and drove off.  
  
"C'mon Hurricane! To the Hurri-mobile!" Bojacky ordered.  
  
::Elyssa, Caitlyn, Naomi, and ... many others leave on quest. Bojacky with Hurricane in ... a car with a really weird paint job::  
  
"Hey, where'd hypr-angl go?" Angel Hunter asked.  
  
"What? Oh right, I'm supposed to make sure you all get home," she said as her getaway van got away. "Hmph, I wanna see Jeffy! Stupid Rob!" Hypr paused, then remembered something. "Right."  
  
~*~  
  
In Hurri-car/van thing ...  
  
"What's that clanking noise in the back of the car/van Hurricane?" Bojacky asked.  
  
"I do not know citizen Bojacky. Would you care to check?" The Hurricane said.  
  
"Sure."  
  
Bojacky looked in the trunk of the car and found Victoria and Steven Richards. Both had paper bags over their head and were squirming all about.  
  
"Cool."  
  
~*~  
  
Leah looked utterly disgusted at Edge as he disappeared. Putting that behind, she walked up to Sonar who had not really noticed anything. She looked at the back and saw it move out of control.  
  
"He's in there!" she snarled.  
  
"He who??" Sonar asked, trying to look confused.  
  
"WHERE IS HE?!"  
  
"SOMEWHERE WHERE YOU'LL NEVER FIND HIM!"  
  
...  
  
"I lost him," Sonar confessed.  
  
"AHAHAHAHAHAHA!"  
  
A really annoying yet recognizable laughter was heard a short distance away.  
  
"SPIKE!" they both shouted.  
  
They found Spike, only he was tied to a rocket that Bischoff was getting ready to launch. In 5 ... 4 ... 3 ...  
  
Suddenly, Bischoff wasn't laughing anymore.   
  
"WHAT THE - "  
  
"2 ... 1 ... and Houston, we are good to go," hypr counted.  
  
"WHAT?! AHHHHHHHHH!" And happily, Bischoff was sent to space where he would probably get mistaken for an ugly satellite with hair.  
  
::Leah and Sonar leave with Spike and the others in Sonar's bag::  
  
"Great, I think that's everyone," hypr said, dusting her hands.  
  
"What about me?" Angel Hunter asked.  
  
"OH YEAH! You get to live happily with these two." Hypr declared.  
  
All the previous people that kept B & C in their rooms cheered.  
  
"Here you go," hypr said, presenting Angel Hunter with a really nice looking car.  
  
"Cool!"  
  
::Angel Hunter leaves with B & C ... oh, and Rico::  
  
"Why are you still here?" hypr asked, staring straight at Angel-eyes.  
  
"What? Triple H still needs a good torturing," she replied.  
  
"True," agreed everyone.  
  
"Fine! I wanna get out of here so here's what I'll do. When we get home I'll lend you the money to hire an assassin to dispose of him!" hypr said.  
  
"Cool," Angel-eyes agreed. "But first - "  
  
Angel-eyes walked up to Triple H as he lay crumbled on the cold pavement.  
  
::WHAM!::  
  
"You deserve that," Angel-eyes said as she strutted off.  
  
Triple H opened and closed his eyes due to the awesome pain that was coming from down below.  
  
::Angel-eyes exits in ... something. She's heading for the mansion/house thing::  
  
"And we still have the two boyz here!" she said, pointing to King and Child of the Strata. "Oh yeah, and Stiletto, Danielle, and ... I think that's it."  
  
Everyone nodded.  
  
"Right, Danielle can leave with ::mumbles:: Matt Hardy."  
  
"YAY!"  
  
"But, she must take Chris Nowinski along with her!"  
  
"WHAT?"  
  
"And ... Stiletto is the extra bonus. He's coming because I want those two to suffer! MWAHAHAHAHA!"  
  
"Cool," Stiletto said giving a evil grin to Chris and Matt.  
  
"But Lita!" Matt began.  
  
"SHOVE IT!" Lita shouted.  
  
"Oh, by the way, can you guys drop me off with Taker? He promised me bike-riding lessons too," Stiletto said.  
  
Matt growled and looked out the car window. Fortunately, hypr's hand happened to passing by as his head popped out.  
  
"OW!"  
  
"Oopsie, my bad," hypr ... apologized._

  
::Danielle, Matt, Nowinski, and Stiletto leave in large van::  
  
"And you two!"  
  
::boys are too busy looking at Lita::  
  
"Right, how 'bout I just stick you two with her and see how that turns out."  
  
"We're friends, right?" Child of the Strata asked.  
  
"Yeah, like talking, laughing, dating kind of friends, yeah?" King said.  
  
Lita sighed but went along with them anyway. "Better then Matt," she thought.  
  
::King and Child of the Strata leave with the red-headed Diva::  
  
"Since I'm too lazy to stick around and record your trip back to your big house thing, I'll just say THE END!"  
  
The wrestlers looked really confused as the last words came out of her mouth.  
  
"The end??"  
  
"As in done. I'm not typing anymore!"  
  
...  
  
"YOU'RE ALL FREE!" she screamed.  
  
Much cheering and celebrating that day in the city of ... wherever they were.  
  
~*~  
  
RESULTS:  
  
All the wrestlers returned to their actuall homes. Hey, I had to let them go. This is set in December which means Christmas with the celebrating, buying and shopping, laughing, gift-giving, and most importantly GIFT-RECEIVING!  
  
Jeff and Rob bought the large mansion/house thing together with Edge as their acquaintance that visits often. All the fan girls got a free lunch with whomever they wanted and wherever they wanted which means they enjoyed themselves. Also endless bags of cash. We all like cash, right?  
  
Leah promised not to hurt Jeff (much) as long as he doesn't talk. Eh, he doesn't talk much anyway. She was given money from an anonymous source (You think it was me? ... yeah, your right) to spend on the destruction of Edge. D'lo brown also got what he deserved. ::insert menacing laugh here::   
  
Sonar, along with Leah compromised on what to do with Spike. (Spike: Don't I get a say in this?!) Sonar received a tranquilizer gun encase all those guys she kidnapped, er- I mean "borrowed" from the WWE were to escape.  
  
Qwerty got a chance to see the _real Kane when she spent a week with him. She also got a free coupon. "100% off any firecracker purchased" and a "Buy one, get two free," deal.  
  
Stiletto bought the mall in which we were all just in. Now he's happy, spending the rest of his life in a very big place with a lot of free stuff for himself. He also got riding lesson with Taker. He got a special firecracker discount too.  
  
Azrael continued to take riding lessons from Taker. Much to her delight, she received his head band. (Azrael: YEAH!) As for Pyper and Jericho, Pyper owns his soul and all the rights to him (how did that happen?!). She is now currently helping Jericho get over his fear of bunnies. (Jericho: Bunnies are our friends!) Suddenly Jericho is attacked by a swarm of furry blobs. (Jericho: I TOLD YOU! I TOLD YOU ALLLLLLLLLL! ...) Jericho is presently not azailable.  
  
Bannonluke is now living next to Molly. Fortunately, she doesn't mind. And now the two own a large ice cream place that resides in Stiletto's mall.  
  
Angel Hunter is nowhere to be found. Sources tell me she, B & C, and Rico are all very happy living in their large house/mansion in wherever Angel Hunter resides in.  
  
Angel-eyes received her money that will go towards "The Torturing of a Large, Ugly Man" club. Also known as just "T.T.L.U.M." This will involve fun games like Twister, Operation, and our favourite, Pin the Very Sharp Object on the Large, Ugly Man!  
  
I got all the money in the world and own each and everyone's souls. Actually, that wouldn't really be as fun as it sounds. Maybe. I'd have to try it. Unfortunately/fortunately that isn't possible. Oh well. Toodles! ^_^  
  
________________________________________________  
  
Well, I finally finished this and I must say I am feeling much better. My slow updating left me feeling guilty and bored.  
  
Random Guy: GUILTY?! YEAH RIGHT YOU LAZY BUM!  
  
I knew there was something I wish I had forgotten. This is Random Guy. He appears in random crowds, mobs, adventures and pretty much everywhere else.  
  
Random Guy: YOU'RE DAMN RIGHT I DO! By the way, Random Gal is missing.  
  
That's nice to know. Hm ... since I am a cruel person and am rather annoyed at the moment I will make Random Guy of some use.  
  
Random Guy: USE? I ALREADY AM USEFUL!  
  
Whatever, (in big, commanding voice) from now on, I declare thee soul mine! You shall be ... R.P.A.G!  
  
...   
  
RANDOM PERSONAL ASSISTANT GUY!  
  
R.P.A.G: Oh, wonderful. I'll celebrate once I get the chance to fart my freedom away forever.  
  
Um, too much information. *sigh* Now I say good-bye to you all.  
  
R.P.A.G: Are you leaving??  
  
You wish. I'm not going anywhere. I'm just going to take a break until my creative energy comes back to me which might be awhile. Now say good-bye!  
  
R.P.A.G: Good-bye.  
  
NOT LIKE THAT!  
  
R.P.A.G: Oh ... Toodles.  
  
And??  
  
R.P.A.G: Pwease review.  
  
YAY!   
  
^_^  
  
ps. Sorry I couldn't add some more of you in but this was originally one long chapter. I just cut in half. I love you all except those that I hate! YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE! Or maybe you don't ... watevr._


End file.
